


Guardian Angel

by TosMichiyo



Series: Guardian Angels [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reincarnation, Slow Build, Soulmates, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-09-15 02:27:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 80,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9214811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TosMichiyo/pseuds/TosMichiyo
Summary: Every human being gets assigned a Guardian Angel by birth.This angel watches over them and tries to steer them into the right directions.And even if we humans fall and make mistakes, they love us unconditionally. For they see only the good in us.No matter how deep we may fall, our Guardian Angels always watches over us.And as Voldemort looks up into those bright emerald eyes that seems so innocent and pure. He can’t help but want to taint his own guardian angel, even knowing it might be the biggest sin he would ever commit.Sequel posted: 'My beautiful Angel'





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Another story idea I had a while back and I started writing this down when I didn’t have any internet for the past weeks.
> 
> I don’t know yet how it will go, but I do have a few ideas in mind.  
> So anyway I hope you all enjoy :)!  
> All mistakes are my own! 
> 
> I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters! 
> 
> And if anyone is interested in beta-reading this story, please let me know ^-^?

### Prologue: 

Every human being gets assigned a _Guardian Angel_ by birth.  
This angel watches over them and tries to steer them into the right directions.  
And even if we humans fall and make mistakes, they love us unconditionally. For they see only the good in us.  
No matter how deep we may fall, our Guardian Angels always watched over us.  
  
And as Voldemort looks up into those bright emerald eyes that seem so innocent and pure. He can’t help but want to taint his own guardian angel, even knowing it might be the biggest sin he would ever commit.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  


“Hadrian,” Hadrian heard a voice call out his name and he glanced up, green eyes curious and full of innocence. “You will be assigned to a human who will be born in a few seconds. His name is Tom Marvolo Riddle.”  
  
Hadrian blinked, as he tilted his head to the side. The name didn’t ring any bells, but with the order to go he left and searched for this soon to be born child.  
  
He found a woman in front of an orphanage. She was panting heavily and crying as some caretakers from the orphanage helped her. Hadrian looked down at the woman and he could already see that she wasn’t going to survive.  
  
Yet he didn’t feel anything, he just smiled brightly at her, knowing that she couldn’t see or even hear him, yet he still spoke, hoping to ease her worries a bit. “Don’t worry; I will take care of your son. I will always watch over him.”  
  
She kept crying as people all around her helped her giving birth to her son. Hadrian looked at the small child and then towards his mother. With her last gasping breath, she named the small boy Tom Marvolo Riddle.  
  
Hadrian could see her eyes shift as they focused upon him. She was dying and most likely be able to see him now that her soul would soon depart from her body. He smiled at her, hoping to ease her worries and fears. “Don’t be afraid. Death isn’t the end.” He whispered to her and she closed her eyes as her body gave in and she died.  
  
The caretakers desperately tried to save the woman’s life, but Hadrian already knew that no matter what it had been her fate to die this evening and nothing could stop fate from running its course. Before every person is born their paths are already set.  
  
They only have a few selected choices which could influence their lives, but in the end they would life their life completely as fate wanted it. And Hadrian knew he couldn’t hate fate or death, but if he could, he would hate them both. For both could be so cruel.  
  
Hadrian watched as they took Tom inside and Harry watched over him, already knowing the child’s fate. Already knowing he could do nothing, for he mustn’t interfere with his life. Hadrian could only watch and guide Tom the right way, hoping that the new-born would listen to him or be able to hear his advice.  
  
The new-born blinked his eyes open, still innocent as those eyes glanced around. Hadrian smiled softly, knowing as pure as children were that they were able to see angels.  
  
But as they grew older their purity would be tainted and the ability to see them would fade away and eventually disappear completely. Hadrian moved his hand closer to Tom. “Don’t worry. I will always be here." He assured the young child.  
  
Hadrian recognized the others soul immediately, for it felt familiar to him. Two halves of what was once one soul. He was Tom’s Guardian Angel, but they were also soulmates.  
   
Tom stretched out his hand as if attempting to touch him, but the small fingers went straight through the angel. Yet a small laugh bubble from the child’s mouth and the caretakers quickly grabbed him and fed him, as they dressed him against the cold.  
  
Yet those light blue eyes still stared up at him and Hadrian smiled as they finally put the new-born in a cradle and Hadrian stood close to him. “I will try my best to make sure you grow up a good and nice person.” Hadrian whispered making Tom blink up at him as the child slowly fell asleep.  
  
Hadrian smiled at the sleeping child. He could see the path that was laid out for Tom, but still he had hope that somehow he could change it.


	2. Life at the Orphanage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom's life at the Orphanage

### Chapter 1: Life at the Orphanage 

Hadrian quickly found out that trying to steer Tom in the right direction was pretty hard. He didn’t blame the young child; he could never blame the human he was assigned to. Even now he showered the young boy with love and affection, hoping that Tom would feel it.  
  
Curious and innocent like any child, Tom was able to see him till he turned 5. It was at that age that everything went downhill as Tom’s accidental magic often lashed out. The result was that Hadrian was forced to watch as they flogged the young child. Yet Tom never made a sound, no matter how much they hurt him.  
  
After a few times of Tom being called a devil spawn or demon child, the young child stopped seeing him and Hadrian knew that everything he did would be utterly useless from this point on.  
  
And as the years passed, Tom’s hatred towards other humans only grew and Hadrian was forced to watch as Tom’s mind became darker and darker.  
  
Filled with hurt and anger Tom changed drastically and despite being young he gained good control over his magical abilities. Even though the boy had no knowledge of what he exactly used to hurt the others.  
   
Hadrian also noticed that Tom could manipulate animals as he wanted and after a fight with Billy Stubbs Tom magically tied the boy’s rabbit to the rafters. It actually hurt Hadrian that he could not stop Tom.  
  
Not even when he took Dennis and Amy to a cave where he terrorized them so much that they didn’t dare tell anyone about what happened. Hadrian had seen what Tom had done, but he could do nothing, except try and warn Tom. He did try and steer Tom in the right direction, even though it was most likely useless.  
  
Tom couldn’t hear his voice anymore and those blue eyes that had once looked up at him in wonder were now slowly becoming duller and the innocent light in those eyes was long gone. Deep down Hadrian wished that Tom had never lost his innocence so soon and that the young child was still able to see him, because then he might get through and let Tom know that what he was doing was wrong.  
  
Yet unable to do anything but watch, Hadrian continued to watch over Tom as he grew up. At times when Tom was sitting and crying on the bed Hadrian would carefully wrap his arms and wings around the child, knowing that Tom would not feel it. Nor would he hear the whispered words of love and hope.  
  
Hadrian already knew that Tom would never change completely. His fate was already set and Hadrian could already see the path that he was going to take and it actually hurt him. Yet he promised to look after Tom, so he did.  
  
No matter what Tom did or would eventually do, Hadrian would watch over him. And he would continue to try and hope that Tom would realise that he was wrong. Hadrian could only hope that Tom would one day change. Hope… But even then Hadrian already knew the hope was fragile.  
  
Back then when Tom had just been born his hope had been strong, but throughout the years he slowly but certainly started to lose it.  
  
And as Tom turned 11, Hadrian knew everything would change. Yet Tom wouldn’t change anymore, he already was too far gone by now. The deep-seated anger was far too strong inside the young child.  
  
As Albus Dumbledore visited the orphanage Hadrian stood next to Tom as the elder wizard explained what Tom really was. A wizard, not a demon child or a devil spawn, no, he was a wizard.  
  
Hadrian felt how intrigued Tom was about it all, yet the younger’s face was devoid of any emotion, except distrust. Tom greatly distrusted the professor of Hogwarts, thinking at first that he was some kind of doctor. Hadrian wasn’t surprised by it as Tom never trusted other people; he never would because of his upbringing trust anyone. Hadrian knew this and he put his hand atop Tom’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort the young boy. Even though it was useless.  
  
As Dumbledore was leaving Tom spoke again. Hadrian shook his head, knowing that Tom shouldn’t ask this. But the young boy was curious and didn’t know about the damage his words would unleash towards him. “I can speak to snakes too. They find me, whisper things.” Hadrian knew this moment would forever change Dumbledore’s view of Tom.  
  
This small moment would forever be etched into the older wizard’s mind and it was this moment that Albus would start distrusting the younger boy completely. Hadrian saw how Albus looked over his shoulder, clearly surprised by Tom’s statement.  
  
“Is that normal, for someone like me?” Tom asked softly. Hadrian heard the childlike curiosity that Tom had about the wizarding world and everything in it. He simply didn’t know that parseltongue was not common in the wizarding world and exactly this question would Albus remember and it would form the image that Albus had of Tom Riddle.  
  
Hadrian saw that Albus considered how he should answer. “It is unusual yes, but not uncommon.” Albus replied carefully, but Hadrian could already see the wheels in Albus’s mind turning. The damage was done and Hadrian moved forward as he wrapped his wings around Tom, who simply stood there as Albus left after watching him quite intensely.  
  
_Different_ …  Hadrian could feel Tom’s thoughts running amok in his head. He tried to sooth the boy’s worries, but it was useless as Tom walked away from him, straight through his wings. Tom sat down on the bed and moved till his back was against the wall, and then he pulled his knees towards his chest.  
  
Hadrian knew that Tom hated that even now he was ‘ _different’_. Even now he was still abnormal and a freak for being able to speak to snakes. Hadrian saw those black eyes narrow in anger and frustration. He knew what Tom was thinking. Humans were awful creatures and worthless. They didn’t understand him, they never would.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Months passed and the first of September arrived. Hadrian was silently impressed how Tom found his way to Diagon Alley and the train which would go to Hogwarts. Despite being an 11 year old boy Tom was already quite clever. It was such a pity that in a few years’ time that brilliant mind would be completely gone.  
  
Hadrian watched as Tom walked forward feeling quite nervous when he sat down on the chair and the speaking hat was placed on his head.  
  
Hadrian already knew where his human would end up and his emerald eyes glanced towards the table at the far end, Slytherin. Hadrian already knew how Tom would be treated and it would only serve to bring out Tom’s darker sides. Yet there was nothing he could do as the hat yelled out. _‘Slytherin!’_  
  
His path was set in stone and some things decided by fate could never be changed.  
  
Tom stood up from the chair and placed the hat back, his black eyes scanning over the silent hall, landing on the table of the snakes. The eerie silence instead of hands clapping already made Tom feel on edge as he moved towards the table and silently sat down at the end of it.   
  
Hadrian put his arms and wings around the young human as he sat down. Eyes from all his housemates burned into Tom. Words were whispered that Tom had no knowledge of. “Mudblood…” Hadrian knew what it meant and tried to offer some comfort to Tom, who already had a feeling that the word didn’t mean anything good.  
  
Angels knew everything and he could do nothing to prevent the bullying that Tom was going to suffer through his first years of Hogwarts. And without a doubt Tom would soon find out what the word ‘ _Mudblood_ ’ means and his hatred would only grow…


	3. Fear of Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom lives through the Second World War and faces his soon to be greatest fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter. 
> 
> I was kind of surprised by the amount of positive comments on this fanfic. Honestly didn’t expect that. But it made me really happy nonetheless ^-^! So thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on :)! 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!  
> And all mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> Cya next update ^-^!

### Chapter 2: Fear of Death

Hadrian didn’t have to wait long before Tom found out what the awful word ‘ _mudblood’_ meant and Tom’s reaction to it was devastating.  
  
Despite how hurt, betrayed and out of place Tom felt in the house of snakes, he quickly made it up by proving that he was a clever and outstanding student. Yet Hadrian could already see behind the mask that Tom had put on for the world to see. The anger that resided in him was still there, pure and evil. It was simply waiting for the right time to be unleashed and unleashed it would be, even if it would take years.  
  
Hadrian still tried to reach through Tom’s haze of darker emotions, but he was not getting through and it became more difficult with each passing day. Tom’s mind was quickly becoming a dark place. He distrusted everyone and hated all those around him and as the years passed it only became much worse.  
  
Despite this, the humans around him were not able to see the simmering hatred inside the young child. They only saw a very strong wizard with a brilliant mind. No matter what spell they needed to learn Tom would often succeed on the very first try.  
  
This of course made the other Slytherins envious. Why would a mere mudblood be better than them after all? And the bullying inside the Slytherin’s dorms increased. But everything that happened inside the Slytherin house stayed inside. And Tom was not willing to be so weak as to ask the professor for help. He would not let them win; he would not give them that satisfaction.  
  
In a way Hadrian had to admit that Tom was truly strong to not let anyone break him, despite everything he was put through. And at times Tom lashed out violently and his strong magic would make the other Slytherins back down again.  
  
Tom’s most hated professor soon became professor Dumbledore, but Hadrian had already seen this coming as Dumbledore seemed to be watching him a lot and Tom only grew annoyed with how Dumbledore treated him so incorrectly.  
  
As Tom’s first year ended the young child wanted to remain at Hogwarts, but Tom didn’t dare ask for it. So he simply returned to the orphanage, where nothing had changed.  
  
In an attempt to ignore all those around him Tom had turned to reading. Hadrian often watched him as the child read through all his books. His need for knowledge was a great strife, but at the same time it would become the boy’s downfall.  
  
His need for knowledge would turn into a need for power. And Hadrian knew it would only a few years before Tom would want to become immortal, as he would start to fear death itself.  
  
2 years at Hogwarts passed and the muggle war had reached Britain and also London. Hadrian was sad as Tom returned to the orphanage during the summer while the bombings on London had started.  
  
It was just a day like any other, but Hadrian knew that this day everything would change. Tom would be forced to see death and his fear for it would rise.  
  
Hadrian also knew it wasn’t Tom’s time yet to die, so he tried soothing the boy’s fears as the bombs fell all around them. They were hiding in the shelter basement close by the orphanage and the caretakers tried to soothe all the children as they could hear the explosions above them.  
  
None of them even looked in Tom’s direction as the young child had found a corner, where he could see everything and those black eyes watching them all anger and also slight fear. The caretakers of the Orphanage didn’t like him, so they didn’t approach the boy like they did with the others. And the destruction that Tom had seen outside was immense and he grew scared of the bombs that the humans had created.  
  
Hadrian was sitting next to him, knowing there was nothing he could do. The help and the comfort that he offered Tom were useless as the child didn’t see or hear him anymore. Hadrian wished for the simply days when Tom had been a small and innocent child, a child that had still been able to see and hear him.  
  
A few days passed and all the children and caretakers from the orphanage walked towards the shelter in the dark of the evening. Hadrian walked slightly behind Tom, his green eyes already watching the sky, already knowing what was going to happen.  
  
It was not Tom’s time to die yet… And Hadrian knew he had to follow those orders. Planes went over and all the children tensed and some even started screaming as the planes started to drop things. Bombs.  
  
The caretakers called out to them to remain calm and told them to run towards the shelter, but through the fear the children didn’t listen and Tom was knocked to the ground when an older and larger boy ran past him. Hadrian saw Tom groan softly, but then the fear settled in as Tom’s eyes shot open and he stared in fear towards the sky, hearing the planes surging over them and the blasts of the bombs hitting everything.  
  
Feet accidentally kicked Tom in their hurry and the boy let out pained gasp, as he crawled away to the side a bit, away from the scurrying feet. Tom then pushed himself up and ran after the other children as fast as he could.  
  
Hadrian flew after him as Tom ran as fast as he could, but an explosion close by shook the ground and Tom lost his footing as he fell forward to the ground. As did several others around Tom, but Hadrian’s focus was only on his human. The human had needed to protect and watch over.  
  
Tom gasped as he got up again. Hadrian saw how he trembled and carefully the angel moved forward as he wrapped his arms and wings around the fearful child. “Shhh… it will be alright. I am here. You won’t die. Trust me, please. Just hear me.” Hadrian whispered softly. The angel hoped that Tom would be able to hear his words or feel his embrace.  
  
Yet Hadrian quickly found out that Tom didn’t hear nor feel him and he tightened his hold on the young child. Tom kept trembling and even moved away from him, the boy just crawled out of his grasp, making the angel sigh softly. A building close to them was blasted apart and Hadrian moved forward as a piece of rumble went straight towards Tom.  
  
Moving his foot, he pushed a small rock in Tom’s way and he made sure that Tom tripped and fell to the ground again as the child had attempted to run away from the destroyed building. The brick wall surged over Tom’s falling body and straight through Hadrian.  
  
Tom’s eyes shot up to him and for one second Hadrian believed that Tom could actually see him, as their eyes met and Hadrian’s eyes widened briefly, but the moment passed as Tom’s breathing became ragged and his fear only increased. Screams echoed all over the place and death bloodied bodies were lying all around them.  
  
One of the caretakers came running back and actually pulled Tom and some other children up, trying to make sure that no child left behind in this place. Hadrian flew after them silently. Tom’s eyes scanned his surroundings, for a mere 13 year old everything around him seemed to be like a completely hell.  
  
Hadrian could see how Tom’s eyes looked towards mangled bodies and the blood on the street that was slowly drying. Nothing… there was nothing Hadrian could do for Tom at this point. This moment would bring forth the destruction of Tom’s very soul and Hadrian feared this all. He had failed to stop it.  
  
He could see it inside Tom’s eyes. The fear had taken root. While at the same time Tom’s eyes seemed to look around and search for something he was now unable to see again. Hadrian wondered how Tom had been able to see him in that second, but his question remained unanswered. Gabriel and Michael kept silent on the matter as did the other Archangels.  
  
They finally reached the shelter and all the caretakers started counting all the children to see if they were all there. This attack they had not seen coming and they had been caught by surprise. Luckily it seemed all the children were there and safe.  
  
Hadrian sat next to Tom once more, silently offering him some comfort. But the young boy didn’t feel his presence nor see him and Hadrian went completely unnoticed as Tom buried his head against the top of his knees and silently cried. Through all his fears he cried out softly, ignoring all the others around him.    
  
Hadrian wasn’t surprised as some years passed and Tom changed drastically again. He was now 16 and just like Hadrian had feared Tom had chosen the wrong road, ignoring his words of warnings completely, or more like not being able to hear them.  
  
The Chamber of Secrets had been found and opened by Tom and a girl named Myrtle Warren had died. Hadrian knew it had been an accident. Yet Tom had made use of this accidental death. He actually created his first horcrux, inside his diary. Tom’s soul was torn apart now, broken and damaged and there was nothing Hadrian could do to mend it.  
  
Hadrian knew he had failed his human years ago. Change was difficult as Tom grew older. He could do nothing but hope that somehow someone could still help Tom, but Hadrian knew fate was cruel.  
  
He didn’t see Tom’s future clear anymore. He could see a prophecy and Tom would go after a young born child. Hadrian could not believe this 16 year old would ever become a monster like Voldemort. But from the moment of the prophecy his visions of Tom’s future were gone… Hadrian didn’t know Tom’s fate and he had asked the Archangels for guidance, but they hadn’t replied.  
  
Hadrian could only guess… but he did know that Tom wouldn’t die yet. Of that he was certain, but why then were his visions limited to that point of Tom’s future? He had promised he would be there for Tom, till the other would face death. Yet it seemed that something was going to happen and Hadrian felt slight dread, even though it was years away still.  
  
Right now Hadrian watched as Tom asked Slughorn about horcruxes, Hadrian watched as he asked and almost pleaded headmaster Dippet if he could stay behind at Hogwarts. It was useless… Tom would be send back and Tom would be free to do what he wants to do.  
  
He would find his father this summer. He would frame his uncle and kill his muggle father and grandparents. And Hadrian could do nothing but watch as Tom used the killing curse three times and ended up almost draining his magical core.  
  
The Gaunt ring he took from his uncle and Hadrian already knew the next horcrux would soon be made.  
  
Tom’s days at Hogwarts were slowly coming to an end and Tom would be free to go out in the world. He would deceive, cheat and lie and continue to kill… And Hadrian would be forced to watch it all, while silently praying and hoping that Tom could still take a better road in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically these chapters were only a bit backstory for the real storyline that I have in mind. I still need to write it and work it all out, so bear with me please :).


	4. Guardian Angels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter :).
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!  
> All mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> And thanks everyone for all the kudos, comment’s and so on ^-^! 
> 
> Cya next update :)

### Chapter 3: Guardian Angels

Hadrian’s visions were right, just like they always were. Tom fell deeper and deeper into the dark arts and his search for immortality continued even now. He had already created two horcruxes, his diary and the Gaunt ring. He already had Rowena’s diadem in his possession and right now he was out to get Slytherin’s locket and Hufflepuff’s cup.    
  
Hadrian was forced to watch as Tom descended into madness and still he tried to reach through the haze of dark emotions and feelings inside Tom. Hadrian could still see the young child when he had just been born, innocent and pure, like all beings.  
  
Throughout the years Tom had been tainted and lost his way more and more. Hadrian had the terrible feeling that he couldn’t stop what was going to happen after all.  
  
Despite that he kept trying to gently push Tom in the right directions. But like always Tom didn’t hear or see him anymore and it was in vain. Hadrian never gave up through it all.  
  
He watched as Tom made the locket and the cup into a horcrux and knew Tom’s soul would soon become unstable. No, it already was unstable. It went against nature itself to split one’s soul and Tom had actually split his 5 times now.  
  
Harry could see the rapid change in Tom’s behaviour. He could see that Tom lost focus of his magic and his once brilliant mind was lost to insanity. Tom’s appearance also changed and Tom actually hated it. His eyes often shifted to red and his hair would start to fall off.  
  
Hadrian knew that one day Tom would lose his humanity completely. Years passed and Tom travelled all over the world, learning all kinds of magic, but most of them were dark arts and Tom revelled in the power he held.  
  
Power and immortality was in his grasp. That is what Tom truly believed and he was powerful, there was no denying this.  
  
But with the 5 horcruxes that Tom had created… Hadrian saw that Tom completely lost it. His soul was so torn apart and it was barely hanging on. It was beyond saving, yet every time Hadrian still put his wings around the other when Tom felt restless or angered. Tom’s anger had become an outlet of its own and he started to enjoy torturing and killing.  
  
Gabriel had said to him that Tom’s soul couldn’t be saved anymore, despite this Hadrian replied that he would never give up on him.  
  
He still tried to make Tom feel love, kindness. Anything but those dark emotions that were destroying Tom. In his mind he still saw the young child that was so mistreated. He wanted to protect and care for his human. He wanted to save Tom, but the other angels already spoke of his failings and his own downfall.  
  
Hadrian would one day be forced to admit defeat. He could already see this happening… But he would do everything in his power to get through to Tom.  
  
Tom returned to Britain years later and Hadrian knew the war would start. Tom gave himself a new name. A name worthy of the greatest wizard alive. Lord Voldemort… A name that he had already used for years, but now the wizard had completely thrown away his past.  
  
Tom Marvolo Riddle was dead, gone in his eyes.  
  
Hadrian knew Tom was powerful and everyone around him knew it as well, but he was not the Tom Hadrian had known many years ago. His once human looks were gone, faded through dark rituals to gain more power.  
  
Tom’s greed for power and immortality was destroying him and the worse part was that he didn’t even see it. He was close to being insane or maybe he already was, and no one dared to tell him. Everyone feared the Dark Lord… Even so much that his mere name wouldn’t be mentioned.  
  
Instead they called him ‘ _You-Know-Who’_ or ‘ _He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’_.  
  
Hadrian, he just didn’t see it. He was blind and still saw the innocence deep inside Tom. No matter how many people Tom tortured and killed. Hadrian still believed in the good that was buried deep inside his precious human.  
  
If only Tom had gotten another chance, none of this would have happened. But Hadrian knew fate was cruel. And no matter what he did his efforts were in vain. Hadrian knew when he had lost, but still he stayed next to Tom.  
  
Still he gathered the other in his arms and held him while Tom fell asleep. He didn’t see Voldemort, the Dark Lord, the one who had a bald head and eyes as red as blood. He only saw Tom Riddle, a small frightened boy who was bullied and never fully accepted anywhere.  


  
**Slytherin Manor, 31 October 1976:**  
Voldemort felt the magic move all around him. Dark and tempting, destructive even. But it only filled him with such pleasure and he felt content when he knew the ritual was working.  
  
In a way he knew that forcing even better control on his magic would have a price, everything always had price. But it had been years since he had cared about his good looks, his soul or any sacrifice he needed for using those rituals.  
  
He only truly cared about power. He would not be seen as weak.  
  
He was not weak. Voldemort let out a deep breath as he felt the magic around him, like pure electricity.  
  
He could feel it all, his senses were heightened and he felt everything surrounding him. Red eyes snapped open as he felt something else… it was not his magic, nor was it anything coming off from him. Yet… it felt strangely familiar.  
  
He looked around the room and even though he saw no one, he had clearly felt that he wasn’t alone. But it was at that moment that the ritual came to an end and his magic blasted back in his body.  
  
With a gasp he fell to his knees, his body trembling and sweating from the sudden impact. Red eyes were wide as he still tried to feel what it was he had felt mere seconds ago. But the feeling had disappeared and even as he glanced around the room he didn’t see anything or anyone.  
  
Yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t alone and that he was being watched. Slowly and carefully he got up, his body protesting, but he ignored it.    
  
He was still slightly out of breath and he tried to take a deep breath as he closed his eyes. At the same time he once again focused his magic. If the ritual had worked he should be able to feel magic around him.  
  
He should be able to feel the incoming attacks before he would see them. It would give him an advantage.  
  
Yet he froze as he felt what he believed were two arms embracing him. But he was certain he was alone. He looked down at his chest where he could the warmth, but indeed he saw nothing. He frowned slightly, blaming it on his imagination, because no one could enter his mansion and he walked out of the ritual room.  
  
He simply must be exhausted after the ritual and he certainly felt like he needed some sleep now. So he made his way to his bedroom. As he undressed and showered it still felt as if he was being watched and it was kind of unnerving. Yet at the same time he didn’t see or hear anything.  
  
Even when he subtle reached out with his magic he felt nothing. Thinking it must be a trick of his mind he just laid down on the bed and turned on his side with a soft sigh.  
  
Things were going well. Everyone in Wizarding Britain feared him. And those fools that still stood against him were easily discarded. Only Albus and his stupid Order were still getting in the way.  He would one day kill them all that he promised himself.  
  
With a small sigh and thoughts of murdering Albus he closed his eyes and relaxed.  
  
He was still half awake, but as soon as he felt two arms embrace him from behind his eyes snapped open and he immediately pulled away. Wide red slitted eyes stared at the empty bed, not exactly comprehending what he had just felt, again….  
  
He closed his mouth which was still open in slight shock and glanced around the empty bedroom. No one would dare to enter this room, unless they were suicidal. Better yet no one knew the place of his manor. So no one could enter. But why then?  
  
If he thought back on the feeling of those arms he felt warm and he could still imagine those gentle arms holding him. It bothered him, because it had felt safe and, dare he admit it, nice… Almost as if…  
  
Red eyes widened briefly as one memory he had never quite forgotten stood out. But it simply couldn’t be…. Or could it?  
  
Angels… they didn’t exist right. Voldemort had always thrown away anything superstition like that. But that day… That day someone, or something, saved his life.  
  
Voldemort carefully stepped forward to his bed, but he saw and felt nothing. Silence filled his room. There was nothing there and angels didn’t exist. Yet now after many years he began to doubt it once more.  
  
Because what he saw that day during the Muggle war was clearly not human. He could vaguely remember beautiful emerald eyes staring down at him. Black coloured hair that reached the person’s, or creatures, middle. And those white feathered wings that were etched onto the person’s back.  
  
Back then Voldemort had hoped and craved to see the entity once more, but years passed and he never saw it again. He had started to believe it was been something of an illusion or merely his fears portraying some kind of saviour, which would protect him.  
  
Why did he think about this now? After all those years. It didn’t make sense. Yet somehow Voldemort had a feeling that those arms he had just felt were familiar. Could he truly have some kind of guardian angel by his side?  
  
Red eyes narrowed slightly. He needed to investigate this. He needed to see if there was a way to see that beautiful entity once more. Somehow he felt like this was something that he needed to figure out.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“Gabriel…” Michael whispered softly.  
  
“I know,” Gabriel replied. “I know.” She repeated much softer.  
  
Both of the angels remained quiet. Since they both knew that Tom Riddle was dangerous. They were not blind like Hadrian was. They could see Tom’s faults and his desires.  
  
“Should we call him back?” Michael asked.  
  
Gabriel shook her head as she still stared at the white wall in front of her. “No, not yet. Let things play out for now. Let us see if maybe Hadrian can still save Tom’s soul after all.”  
  
Uriel laughed and shook his head, gaining the attention of the two other angels. “Tom’s soul is beyond saving.”  
  
Gabriel and Michael didn’t say anything. They all knew Uriel was right, but even now they wanted to give Tom the benefit of the doubt. Even now they hoped that Hadrian would be able to see through the darkness inside Tom’s very soul.  
  
Yet at the same time, they all already knew how it would end.


	5. Hadrian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Voldemort is getting desperate and searched for ways to see what he believes is his guardian angel.  
> The other angels talk of what the future could bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter :). 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!  
> And all mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> Thanks everyone for leaving comments, kudos and so on ^-^!
> 
> And cya next update :)!

### Chapter 4: Hadrian

**10 January 1977:**  


Days, weeks and even months passed. But if Voldemort was anything it was determined. Yet he slowly started to lose faith throughout the weeks that went by.  
  
He had read through a lot of books, all different kinds even, anything to find out more about Guardian Angels and about the angel that had been there for him years ago.  
  
Some books said you could train and if you really focused you would be able to see your guardian angel. Voldemort did try and try, but failed every time and he quickly grew irritated and angered by his lack of progress.  
  
He had no idea why or what exactly was driving him. He almost felt compelled to continue with this sudden quest. Even though he had no time to spare in the middle of this war against the Order and the Ministry.  
  
It was at times as if a voice softly whispered in his mind, gently pushing him into this direction. It was pure madness and it soon became an obsession for him.  
  
But he could imagine that the voice was real and that it was his angel whispering to him. Throughout these last months Voldemort had more often felt the presence. Calm and serene and he could exactly pinpoint the location where the angel must be standing. His magic seemed to tune in to the otherworldly sphere.  
  
Still being able to sense and sometimes maybe even hear his precious angel was not enough. He needed real proof. He needed to see him with his own eyes.  
  
With an irritated groan Voldemort threw the book of his desk and it landed on the ground with a thud. The books all said the same thing.  Meditation…  
  
Maybe in the past he would have been able to sit down, relax and meditate. But right now he simply felt he couldn’t. He had tried and it was those moments that he could hear a voice whispering things.  
  
Things he should hate, but it was whispered in such a soft, gentle and loving voice.  
  
Whispered words of love and hope. Voldemort had once believed he may be going insane. There was no way any of this could be real. No way had that he had an angel and that his angel would whisper those words. No way that anyone could love him, yet he found that he wanted to hear those words.  
  
And at the same time he truly believed in the angel, for what else could have saved him all those years ago.  
  
Voldemort leaned back with a sigh and red eyes stared up at the ceiling above him. It was useless… Maybe he should just stop this and focus completely on the war.  
  
He truly didn’t have any time to waste. He had already wasted a lot of time with this bullshit and at this moment he had enough.  
  
Deep down he could still feel the urge to continue searching and trying to see his guardian angel, but it felt utterly hopeless at this point. He had been spending months trying to meditate, just to be able to see him once more.  
  
Voldemort finally had to admit it was pure madness. He made his decision to let it rest, at least for now. He would need to ask Lucius what the Order had been up to at this point. He had neglected his duties for too long now.  
  
So two days later he approached the blonde wizard and called forth a meeting inside Malfoy Manor.  
  
He eyed all of his followers as they answered his call through Lucius’s dark mark. Some of them still stared up at him with fear, others with adoration and he revelled in both.  
  
He listened when he ordered them to say with the proceedings were at this point. And he cursed when he heard that Albus Dumbledore was still standing in their way. He would need to deal with the foolish man himself. The others could not go against Dumbledore and survive. Even though Voldemort hated to admit it but Albus was a really strong wizard.  
  
Of course he defeated Gellert Grindelwald and that made Voldemort actually worried. Even through all the years of gaining more power and knowledge. Would it be enough to kill the old fool? Lost in his thoughts he barely heard his death eaters talking about their tasks and if they were close to succeeding or not.  
  
Surely if they would end up in a duel, there could only be one winner and Voldemort was not willing to lose, especially not to Albus. Red eyes narrowed and the death eater that was speaking paled slightly and stuttered. “I…I will make sure that more people inside the Ministry follow you, my Lord.” Rockwood muttered, unaware that the Dark Lord’s thoughts had trailed off to something entirely different.  
  
Voldemort blinked up at Rockwood when he noticed the sudden tension in the room. He had not heard a single thing Rockwood had said. “You have failed me, Rockwood?” He asked softly. His voice holding a dangerous edge when he saw Rockwood shifting nervously and he could practically feel the other’s fear. A small grin appeared on his face.  
  
With a single flick of his wand Rockwood was screaming and writhing on the floor. All the others were silent, though Voldemort heard Bellatrix laugh softly. She always enjoyed seeing the others in pain and Voldemort’s mouth curved upwards. She truly was one of his favourites. Of course partly because he taught her everything himself.  
  
“Tom, please stop.” A male voice said and abruptly the Cruciatus curse stopped as red eyes widened in shock.  
  
Voldemort was vaguely aware of the Death Eaters bowing down deeply, hoping to be spared from suffering any pain. But Voldemort’s mind had frozen at the mention of his real name and that familiar voice which he sometimes had heard. Yet this time the voice had been clear and he hadn’t heard it with his ears. No, it was almost like he heard it inside his own mind.  
  
“Leave.” Voldemort snarled as he got up from his throne. All his followers got up and scrambled out of the room, not wanting to anger the dark lord any more than he already was.  
  
Wide red eyes locked through the empty room, silently hoping, praying even, that he would see him. But the room was empty.  
  
Voldemort let out a sigh. Had it been only a trick of his mind…? No, it simply couldn’t be. He focused his magic and reached out to every corner in the room. Yet this was unnecessary as he felt a presence standing in front of him. He stared at the empty place and opened his mouth. What could he even say?  
  
Why had his angel asked him to stop? He reached out his hand wanting to touch something. To know that his angel was standing there, but his hand went through nothing and he gritted his teeth as his eyes narrowed in pure frustration. This wasn’t fair.  
  
He felt his magic swirl around him, furious and like a whirlwind it destroyed the walls and the throne he had just sat on. The floor cracked until eventually the only place left untouched by the destructive magic was a small circle in which Voldemort himself stood.  
  
Red eyes closed in defeat. It seemed impossible and he let himself fall down to his knees, feeling tired and drained all of a sudden. Why? Why did he feel so desperate, so lost for one simply being? Why did he crave to see an entity that most people were unable to see? Only maybe Seers or people gifted could see angels or ghosts. He was not gifted, nor a seer.  
  
He was powerful yes and that is why he couldn’t accept this. That beautiful creature was unreachable for him. Except for that one small moment years ago. Why had he seen him back then? Had he been in terrible need of some acceptance? Or just felt the need that he was never completely alone? That someone always had his back, even in the middle of a terrible war?   
  
“Who are you…?” Voldemort asked with a soft voice as his eyes still stared at the ground in front of him.  
  
Voldemort could feel arms embracing him. The warmth felt good and it gave him comfort he didn’t even know he needed. The embrace spoke of love and despite that Voldemort hated it, he also craved this unconditional love so deeply. He could feel it through his entire being, his very soul and heart. Even knowing how black his heart was didn’t stop his guardian angel from showering him with this love.  
  
It felt unreal. Yet Voldemort could feel it in those invisible arms that were around him. And he could imagine that those arms had been holding him many times more, but he had been simply unaware of them.  
  
And Voldemort never expected a reply to his question. For he couldn’t hear his guardian angel that often and especially not that clear.  
  
Silence filled the room and with a sad sigh Voldemort apparated away from the destroyed room. His body was exhausted from all the hours of not sleeping and researching and his magical outburst. It seemed like somehow that one small embrace had drained all his remaining energy. Maybe it was his angel’s way of telling him that his body needed rest.  
  
He undressed and put on his nightwear as he lay down on his bed sideways. He stared at the door, unconsciously he reached out with his magic and he felt the angel sitting close by on the edge of his bed. Red eyes stared at the place where he could clearly feel it.  
  
“Who are you…?” Voldemort repeated much softer this time. This time he could feel the angel move and he felt the warmth in front of him as those arms gently held him. “Who are you to love me like you do…?” Voldemort muttered.  
  
It should unnerve him, strangely enough it did not. Moving his hand he knew his arm just went through the angel and he closed his eyes. He felt sadness, something he hadn’t felt in years. All his feelings seemed in complete turmoil. Even his death eaters must think he was going insane.  
  
As he slowly started to drift asleep he still felt his angel lying next to him and he felt at peace, knowing he wasn’t alone.    
  
“Hadrian.” The voice inside his mind sounded clear and without a doubt the angel just told him his name.  
  
A small content smile appeared on Voldemort’s lipless mouth as he heard the reply, but as he was already half-asleep he only muttered s soft ‘ _Hadrian_ ’ before he fell asleep.  
  
  
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“Hadrian is getting to close to Tom,” Michael said and Gabriel just stared at him with her silvery eyes. “Gabriel, we must act. This won’t end well. Tom’s soul is already lost.”  
  
Gabriel softly shook her head, her long blonde hair moving as well. “No.” She replied shortly.  
  
Michael narrowed his blue eyes slightly. “You have seen more of what the future brings, haven’t you? Hadrian is unable to see anything clear anymore. You know what this means, don’t you?”  
  
“Yes,” Gabriel stated. “We will call Hadrian back. He will be reborn once more. He is losing sight of his goals and is getting to close to Tom Riddle and like you said Tom’s soul is lost.”  
  
Michael’s eyes widened in shock. “You can’t take a guardian angel away from a person when that person is still alive!” He exclaimed.  
  
Gabriel’s eyes turned sad as she sighed softly. “Michael. Tom’s soul is already lost. He is not truly alive anymore. He lives with a mere shard of his soul. He does not deserve a guardian angel anymore.”  
  
“You will truly forsake him,” Michael muttered. “You don’t see the good in Tom anymore?”  
  
“I try to. But like Uriel said last time and like you said just now. Tom’s soul is beyond saving.” Gabriel said.  
  
Michael gave a slight nod, hating that he had to admit she was right. “Hadrian will not like it.”  
  
“I know… Sadly we don’t have a choice. Fate can truly be cruel.” Gabriel whispered and Michael looked at her, silently asking the questions what would happen to Hadrian. Gabriel looked sadder at his look and he instantly knew he wasn’t going to like what she would say. “Hadrian will be reborn as one of the prophecy child’s that could bring Tom down.”  
  
Michael lets out a shocked gasp, not believing that fate could be that cruel. He shook his head, deep down hoping that Gabriel was say she was joking, but he knew that Gabriel wouldn’t joke about something like this. “How will that end?”  
  
Michael wished he was able to foresee the future like Gabriel at this point, but he could not. Gabriel shook her head and said no more, clearly not wanting to let him know and reluctantly Michael left the room, knowing he would get no more answers at this point.      


	6. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small attack on Hogsmeade and dreams can give messages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter :).
> 
> Hope you all enjoy, somehow I am not entirely satisfied with it, but oh well.  
> All mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^! 
> 
>  
> 
> And no one pointed out my mistake in the last chapter xD? I reread it and actually face-palmed that I didn’t notice it. ‘Days, weeks and even months weeks passed.’  
> It is fixed now though XD. 
> 
> Anyway enjoy and cya next update :).

### Chapter 5: Dreams

**29 January 1977:**

Hadrian…  
  
That night when Voldemort first heard that name he knew it was a name fitting of his beautiful angel. Without a doubt Hadrian was a name that Voldemort would never forget.  
  
Even though after that breakdown and finally hearing his angel Voldemort had not heard Hadrian that often anymore. He still felt the angel’s presence and it soothed him a bit to know that Hadrian was still there, watching over him.  
  
Mostly Hadrian seemed to react strongly when he either tortured or killed people, Voldemort quickly found out about that. But it was simply in his nature to do so, he couldn’t just stop. He ruled them all and their fears made sure they wouldn’t dare to betray him. He had only stopped that one time because he had been shocked by the sudden voice inside his mind.  
  
Though Voldemort realised that Hadrian wanted him to stop, but he could not. He could not just stop this war and forsake everything he worked on for many years. Not even for his angel…  
  
Voldemort hated it that he had considered it, if even for one brief second. He hated it all. He had been furious at himself for wanting to hear his angel more often and to see him. It was pure madness indeed.  
  
But as the days passed, it seemed like Hadrian’s voice faded again. Full of anger and irritation Voldemort had decided to attack Hogsmeade with some of his followers. He desperately needed an outlet for his anger and what better way than to torture and kill. To install more fear in all those foolish wizards and witches that believed they could win against him.  
  
They didn’t stand a chance at all and Voldemort laughed coldly as he heard the spells clash around him, some of them hitting his shield, but his shield kept strong, protecting him from all the spells. He was way too powerful for any of them.  
  
Full of grace and deadly he strikes as he slashes his wand and all kinds of dangerous dark curses left the tip of his yew wand. This was everything he needed and craved for. Those foolish light wizards were scared and Voldemort could almost taste the fear in the air around him as they screamed and fought in vain.  
  
They had not seen this sudden attack coming and that was exactly what was so exhilarating about it all. Aurors would arrive soon and maybe even that stupid Order. They were the biggest fools of them all, for they fought and fought, believing they might be able to win.  
  
Cracks of apparition sounded close by and Voldemort looked over his shoulder as he heard one of his death eaters scream Dumbledore’s name. Of course the old fool would come here as well, so close near Hogwarts...  
  
Slowly he turned around and lowered his wand arm as his red eyes stared at the elder wizard. “Today will be the day you will finally be defeated Albus.” Voldemort said coldly and with pure hatred in his voice.  
  
The anger inside of him was fuelling him completely. The need to kill and destroy was greater than ever. Somewhere deep down in his mind he could hear a soft voice asking him to stop, a voice almost reduced to pleading. Voldemort ignored it this time around.  
  
Because Voldemort knew that Hadrian was trying to make him stop and that was exactly why Voldemort continued. Because he could hear Hadrian’s voice more clear whenever he was angered like this. It was as if his angel wanted to calm him and take that fury away from him. His anger was a part of him; Hadrian could not take that away. No one could, so not even his guardian angel would be capable of that.  
  
With a cold laugh and a mad grin on his face Voldemort attacked Dumbledore. The elder wizard was at a disadvantage, he was getting too old for this all. He wasn’t so quick with his reaction, but he was undoubtedly powerful in whatever shield charm he had around him. Blue eyes narrowed slightly as more power surged through the headmaster and Voldemort glared at him.  
  
He would not accept defeat, especially not against Dumbledore. And even while he fought the elder wizard he kept his eyes checking everything and everyone around him. None of the light wizards dared to attack him, but despite that he would not let his guard down at all.  
  
“Tom, stop this madness. This has been going on for long enough.” Albus said as a blue light came forth from his wand and Voldemort quickly evaded the spell by apparating behind Albus. The headmaster quickly turned around.  
  
“Stop this?” Voldemort snarled. “This is the most fun I have had in months, Albus. I felt like I was going mad inside my own mind. I want to hear Hadrian’s voice and this way I can.”  
  
Albus looked slightly confused at his words, but Voldemort simply raised his wand when a black-haired male and a red haired female stepped in front of the elder wizard. Voldemort looked at them and wondered who in Merlin’s name was foolish enough to stand between him and his prey. Albus warned them, but they ignored him as both of them raised their wands at Voldemort.  
  
As Voldemort eyed them over again he knew who they were and he laughed, amused at their foolish bravery. Stupid Gryffindor’s… “If I am not mistaken you are James Potter and Lily Evans. I have heard a lot about you.” His voice turned slightly more intrigued now that the most of his anger had left him. “You know you do not stand a chance, don’t you? There is a grave with Albus Dumbledore’s name ready. As for everyone inside the Order.”  
  
“You think you can rule with fear! There will always be those who will not stand down.” James yelled while those hazel eyes behind his glasses narrowed at the Dark Lord.  
  
Voldemort chuckled. “I dearly hope so. It would certainly be more interesting. But won’t you consider taking the winning side.” Voldemort extended his empty hand towards them. “It would be a pity if such a promising wizard and witch would die….”  
  
The threat was hanging in the air between them and Gryffindor brave or fools like they were acted rash at times. James moved his wand and even Lily raised her wand higher, not wanting to back down.  
  
And without any words being spoken Voldemort knew that they had just defied him. He easily blocked James’s attack and shook his head while he softly chuckled. He could hear Hadrian asking him to stop, but he pointed his wand towards Lily and a green blinding light rushed forward from his wand.     
  
Albus of course interfered like the meddling old fool he was and a part of a brick wall flew in between them protecting the young female. Voldemort only laughed as the brick wall exploded in between them and he called back all his followers.  
  
Albus moved forward, but with a pleased grin on his face Voldemort apparated away.  
  
The rest of the evening passed normally as Voldemort relaxed in his bathtub, removing all blood or other stuff that got on his skin. Hadrian had become silent again and Voldemort already started to miss his voice.  
  
Voldemort sighed and ignored all his rampaging feelings. He could get out and torture some of his followers, just to hear his voice again. With a heavy sigh he drained the bath and got out. With a quick and wandless drying spell he dried himself off and decided to just go to bed. He didn’t feel like reading or doing anything else.  
  
Voldemort lay down and closed his eyes, almost immediately he felt the warmth around him and he sighed. Even though he could not hear his angel anymore, he could still feel him.  
  
He wasn’t even fully aware when he fell asleep. For years Voldemort had never dreamed anymore. His sleep was always dreamless, since he had decided to throw away his humanity completely.  
  
So what he was seeing now was certainly surreal. Red eyes started at the blue sky and the bright yellow sun in the sky. Voldemort could feel the warmth of it upon his naked skin. It didn’t burn, but it just felt warm, a kind of content warm.  
  
The Dark Lord then looked down at his feet, which were halfway been buried in the wet sand beneath him. Waves from the ocean in front of him crashed against his calves. It all seemed endless. The ocean in front of him and the shore beside and behind him.  
  
There was nothing within his sight and it should unnerve him, but it felt peaceful and serene. So he relaxed as he closed his eyes with a soft sigh.  
  
How long had it been since he could truly relax like this? Without having to torture or kill beforehand?  
  
“Tom…” A voice whispered and Voldemort’s eyes snapped open when he heard the familiar voice.  
  
The view in front of him surely belonged in a dream. For in front of him, floating atop of the ocean was what he had craved to see for months. His mouth opened slightly as he gaped at the angel.  
  
Beautiful white feathered wings moved slowly as if keeping the angel afloat. Black curled hair flowed over the male’s back and a few strands were in front of him, falling over his shoulders.  The angel was dressed in what seemed to be a white kind of dress, but what captured Voldemort’s attention even more were those striking emerald eyes.  
  
And as Voldemort looks up into those bright emerald eyes that seems so innocent and pure. He couldn’t help but want to taint his own guardian angel, even knowing it would be the biggest sin he would ever commit. ****  
  
Hadrian glided forward towards him and Voldemort felt captured as he could not move, but at the same time he didn’t want to move. He closed his mouth as he kept his eyes fixed on his angel. It was only when Hadrian was closer to him that Voldemort saw an emotion on Hadrian’s face that he couldn’t understand.  
  
Voldemort stretched out his hand, intending to touch his angel. But Hadrian softly shook his head. “Please listen to me…” The voice sounded desperate and Voldemort immediately paid more attention, his hand stopping his advance towards the breath-taking entity.  
  
“You have to stop this, Tom. You have to show some remorse for everything you have done. You can still amend. It’s not too late, it never is. I believe in you, always.”  
  
Remorse? Amend? Why would he ever do something like that? He didn’t need remorse. He didn’t need such a weakness. Hadrian seemed even sadder; as if he knew what had went through his mind.  
  
“Tom. I love you. I only wish the best for you, but my visions are limited and the other angels don’t tell me everything anymore. I do not know what will happen… Even if I did I could not tell you. But I promised I would do everything to make sure you would turn into a nice human. That you would make the right choices, but sadly you strayed…”  
  
Hadrian’s words didn’t make any sense, but Voldemort was just content to listen to him. That voice that could somehow sooth all his worries at times and he was happy to finally see this magnificent creature again, to know that Hadrian was truly there and watching him.  
  
“Hadrian…” Voldemort whispered as if testing the name as he looked at his angel. Hadrian blinked at him as if not completely understanding him. And how could he? Voldemort himself didn’t even understand all these feelings rushing through him.     
  
“My beautiful Hadrian. You whisper words of love and you care for me.” Voldemort said. “I can feel it, unlike when so many others proclaimed their love for me, yours is different.”  
  
Hadrian smiled softly at him as if understanding him. “We, angels, love unconditionally. We do not judge, Tom. We believe in the good in everyone, even if no one else does. Guardian angels especially. The higher angels are different than us guardian angels.”  
  
“Unconditionally…” Voldemort muttered as he slowly closed his eyes, focusing on the feelings deep inside him. It didn’t matter how or why. Voldemort wanted to bury himself in that warmth that he could feel. Into that feeling where he felt like his whole body seemed alight. Could that be his angel’s love?  
  
Love. The one thing he loathed above everything else… How could it truly feel this magnificent? Surely that was impossible.  
  
Red eyes opened as he watched Hadrian again, taking in every feature, every curve, every detail, no matter how small. He stepped forward, a greedy look in his eyes. Hadrian didn’t move away, the only thing that moved were his beautiful wings.  
  
Voldemort moved his hand up again as he stretched it out, intending to touch this entity that haunted his very mind, as he stopped in front of the angel. Hadrian seemed sad all of a sudden and Voldemort had no idea why. The waves now crashed against his thighs, the water of the ocean warm, like everything around him. But Voldemort ignored it all; the only thing that was important was Hadrian.  
  
Hadrian also moved his hand up and just barely from touching the other Voldemort felt the water crash against him like a tsunami coming from nowhere as it went straight through Hadrian. He gasped and instead of air he got water in his lungs as he was pushed beneath the waves.  
  
He tried to move up and his eyes searched for the one who had saved him many years ago, but Hadrian was nowhere to be seen. Endless water surrounded him and he looked up seeing the sky and the sun clear above him.  
  
Voldemort quickly swam, knowing that he needed to get up there. He didn’t want to drown here, the thought scared him and he increased his efforts, but it seemed like it was in vain. He couldn’t get closer to the surface and he felt how his lungs needed to get oxygen.  
  
Opening his mouth he only got a gulp water in and he closed his eyes as he felt it burning inside him. Water didn’t have any oxygen and he… he was drowning. He was going to die. A terrifying scream echoed and Voldemort didn’t even realise it was his own as he shot up from his bed.  
  
Waves of magic that were out of his control raged around him, burning and destroying everything around him. Voldemort backed away until his back hit a wall and then he let himself slide down as he gasped and panted for breath.  
  
His body covered in sweat instead of water and he tried to reason it had only been a dream… or a nightmare. It took a while to calm down as the panic attack faded and it was then that he could feel the warmth encasing him.  
  
He wasn’t alone. He started muttering, only one name and anyone who saw this would surely declare the Dark Lord insane as he kept repeating one name over and over again. ‘ _Hadrian.’_  
  
But to Voldemort it was merely to ensure himself that his guardian angel was still there. Protecting him, holding him.  
  
But Voldemort wanted so much more. To touch him, but somehow that touch had been denied. Voldemort stopped muttering as he finally calmed down again. His mind going into dark places as he chuckled lowly. He didn’t know love, even though he could feel it through Hadrian’s feelings he didn’t know the feeling himself.  
  
What he did know however was how to obsess. In a way he had been obsessing over Hadrian for months now, but now with actually seeing him for the first time. Voldemort moved his head up and opened his eyes as he looked at the damage done. He would definitely need to repair his whole bedroom, but right now he couldn’t be bothered.  
  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“Gabriel.” Michael said. He was growing worried. Hadrian had been in contact with Tom Riddle and Tom’s aura had darkened, blackened by desire, but Hadrian was blind and naïve and he didn’t see it.  
  
“No, not yet.” Gabriel said as she looked sad herself.  
  
“You’re dooming Hadrian….” Michael stated softly.  
  
Gabriel shook her head softy. “No… but this need to happen. This needs to pass.”  
  
“I don’t understand.” Michael muttered with a slight frown.  
  
“Tom will crave his touch next. He will fail, it is impossible to touch an angel.” Gabriel said, already stating what Michael knew as well.  
  
 “Why then? Why torment him like this?” Michael asked.  
  
Gabriel looked at him and softly said. “It will destroy him yes. But at this point Tom Riddle is already lost. He is obsessed and lusting after an angel, his own guardian angel. He has already fallen too deep.”  
  
Michael shook his head. “So this is it…. his soul is so lost. You really wish for him to destroy himself even more?”  
  
Gabriel nodded. “No… This is Fate’s doing. Eventually he will lose himself completely.”  
  
“And then Hadrian will be reborn, leaving Tom alone completely.” Michael added in a soft voice that showed his sadness for the whole situation.  
  
“Yes. Hadrian will be born as the son of James Potter and Lily Evans.” Gabriel replied and Michael was actually a bit confused that the other angel was saying these things after keeping it from him last time.  
  
“Born as one of the prophecy’s child’s,” Michael muttered with a soft shake of his head. “Why? Surely fate can’t be that cruel for Tom? He can’t die, so what kind of fate does he have?”    
  
“Sometimes people face fates that are worse than death,” Gabriel whispered sadly. “And sometimes people need to learn from their mistakes to make things right. Life’s lessons can be cruel, Michael. We all know this. But if the people do learn from their mistakes and fix them, they might get another chance after all.”  
  
Michael frowned. Gabriel’s words seemed to have a double meaning and he didn’t quite like it. Gabriel smiled as if she knew what went on inside his mind and of course she did.  
  
“Michael. I am giving you a new task,” Gabriel started as she moved forward and stopped in front of him. Michael straightened himself slightly as he looked at her, wondering what she wanted from him. “Watch over Hadrian when he is reborn.” Michael’s eyes widened as Gabriel just ignored his shock.  
  
She just walked past him and left the room, leaving him alone with all his thoughts and a strange feeling inside of him that resembled dread.


	7. Reincarnation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hadrian and Tom meet more often and create a bond through time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter :)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!  
> And all mistakes are still my own!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^! 
> 
> And cya next update :)!

### Chapter 6: Reincarnation

**5 February 1977:  
**

Hadrian would never admit it, but he was growing restless. Soon… very soon the time would arrive where his visions of Tom’s life ended. He had kept asking Michael and Gabriel for their guidance and advice on it, but they remained quiet on the matter.  
  
It only bothered Hadrian even more. He could feel that something bad was about to happen and he hated not knowing what.  He knew one thing for sure however. Fate was intervening somehow. He just had a feeling that fate was playing games… and he didn’t like it one bit.  
  
Hadrian should be happy that he finally got through to Tom. That he finally spoke to the other. That he finally could tell Tom that he still had a chance to change.  
  
Despite that… Tom seemed determined to ignore his words and it made Hadrian feel desperate once again. So close, yet so far away. Hadrian had hoped that Tom would have taken his words to heart. He had hoped the dark wizard would change.  
  
But it seemed like Tom was losing himself even more. Hadrian knew that after Tom had seen him in his dreams that something had drastically changed. Yet Hadrian couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was.  
  
It didn’t matter; he would take care of Tom. He would always be there for Tom, just like he promised.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
**5 February 1977:**  
Wasn’t it wrong to lust after an angel? A being that is so pure and untouched.  
  
Voldemort knew somewhere deep down it was wrong, but he could not stop. He didn’t want to stop. Never before had he felt something like this.  
  
After that beautiful and awful dream it seemed like nothing had changed, but Voldemort knew everything had changed. The warmth, his angel, that embraced him and was always there, but he wanted so much more.  
  
He wanted to devour and taint him, to see those beautiful emerald eyes filled with lust as he touched the angel’s body in places that brought too much pleasure. Yet at the same time Voldemort wanted Hadrian to look at him with that love in his eyes. To see those vibrant green eyes look at him like that had changed everything. To finally see his angel wasn’t enough anymore…  
  
Voldemort had wanted to feel Hadrian’s hand. He wanted to feel what touching an angel felt like. But it had been denied. His beautiful dream turned into a nightmare. A true nightmare… A nightmare in which he had died.  
  
The nights after that horrible night Voldemort didn’t dare go back to sleep. He was afraid… Afraid of having another nightmare like that. He almost had forgotten how it felt to be afraid. He had believed himself invincible and now he was scared of his own dreams.  
  
But even with potions running through his system, he couldn’t keep up, Voldemort was aware of that and he had become agitated and irritated, lashing out at even the smallest things. His death eaters were even more scared of him than normal and that was saying something.    
  
And as he sat in his armchair in the library, reading a book he could feel the tiredness creeping up on him. His eyes dropped close a few times, while he struggled to keep them open and to stay awake.  
  
He wanted to go to sleep. He knew his body needed the sleep right now. It had been one week. His head fell forward and he shook awake again with a soft irritated groan. He couldn’t stay awake for much longer, not even with the potions and the words on the page in front of him were blurring. His eyes were too tired as was his body.  
  
“Sleep… Tom.” A voice inside him whispered and Voldemort sighed softly as his eyes closed and he surrendered.  
  
Immediately he noticed he was on the same beach again and he glanced up, expecting to see Hadrian there again, floating above the ocean.  
  
But there was no one there and Voldemort frowned slightly. Was he really expecting to see him again? Yes, he had expected Hadrian to be there and it hurt when he didn’t see him.  
  
“I am always here, Tom,” a voice behind him said and Voldemort turned around, facing Hadrian who stood behind him this time. “You should take better care of your body….”Hadrian whispered sadly. “And your soul.” The angel added softly.  
  
“My soul…” Voldemort muttered as he stared into those deep green eyes. His soul was torn apart many times. His horcruxes were safe, so he saw no reason why he should take better care of his soul. He needed his horcruxes, needed that immortality.  
  
Hadrian shook his head and took a small step closer, but not close enough that they could touch. “Tom. I have a bad feeling. Please, listen to me. I am only saying this for your own wellbeing; you must reabsorb your horcruxes. You must show remorse. Only then will you be truly alive again. Souls are pure and not meant to be destroyed or ripped apart, Tom.”  
  
Voldemort narrowed his eyes at his angel’s words. “I need them! I have gone beyond immortality.” Voldemort moved closer, but Hadrian put up his hand and took a small step back.  
  
“Don’t,” Hadrian warned him. “You can’t touch me… not even in your dreams would you be able to touch me. It will end like your last dream.”  
  
Voldemort tensed and anger unlike any before went through him at these words. “What do you mean I can’t touch you!?” Voldemort sounded desperate and lost and Hadrian’s eyes turned sad.  
  
“Angels are beings from another dimension. We are souls existing in the world of humans, but once we too were human. Every soul is reborn and our souls have crossed paths throughout different lives. That is why I was chosen as your guardian angel, because our souls are familiar to each other. I felt it when I first laid my eyes upon you Tom.” Hadrian explained.  
  
Voldemort couldn’t wrap his mind around his angel’s words. “Reincarnation…”  He finally muttered. Did something like that truly exist? It was hard to believe and Voldemort didn’t dare hope it.  
  
There was no way in telling what could happen when someone died. He just didn’t want to risk it. Hadrian looked at him, but stayed silent as he mussed over all the things that Hadrian had just said to him.  
  
“Can I see you when I am awake..?” Voldemort asked. He had been wondering about it. Hadrian sadly shook his head.  
  
“No, I am afraid you are not capable. Only in your dreams can I now get through to you if you let me. Maybe there could have been a possibility that you had been able to see me outside of your dreams if you had kept your soul intact.” Hadrian replied.  
  
Voldemort shook his head. He didn’t want to hear this again. “I am not going to absorb them back!” He screamed. He could already feel his frustration rising again.  
  
Hadrian gave a small nod, though he didn’t seem happy with Voldemort’s words. “If that is your final decision…?” Hadrian asked, hoping that Tom would still change his mind.  
  
“Yes.” Voldemort replied curtly. Both ended up silent as Voldemort raked his eyes over Hadrian’s body and those beautiful white wings. He could hear the waves of the sea crashing behind him against the shore, but it sounded distant.  
  
Everything seemed distant in comparison to Hadrian. Hadrian seemed to blink a few times. “Tom?” Voldemort hummed softly. Strangely he didn’t mind Hadrian calling him by his father’s name. Only Hadrian would ever be allowed to call him Tom. “Promise me you will take better care for yourself.”  
  
Voldemort had not expected that and he opened his mouth as he stared deep into those green eyes. Hadrian smiled softly. “I will always be there, Tom. No matter your choices. I will always believe in you and the part inside you that has been buried so deep because of everything you have been through.”  
  
“What part?” Voldemort inquired, wondering what he had buried deep inside of him.  
  
“The part of you that is good instead of evil.” Hadrian said.  
  
Voldemort couldn’t help it as he chuckled. “Something good inside me…” That was surely a mistake. But Voldemort noticed that Hadrian was serious about his words. “You believe in the goodness inside me? Despite everything I have done and will do.”  
  
“I do not judge, Tom… Angels do not judge. Maybe the Archangels do, but guardian angels don’t. We simply love and watch over the humans we are assigned to. So yes, I do believe in the good part inside of you.” Hadrian said with a small smile gracing his beautiful features.  
  
Voldemort could only think that these words were truly the words of a fool… No human at all believed he was capable of doing good. No one believed that, yet here Hadrian was telling him that he did.  
  
Voldemort started laughing; it was not a cold or hollow laugh like he normally had. No, this one was purely of amusement and disbelief. He had killed and tortured and his guardian angel had seen it all, even asked him to stop it. Yet here was Hadrian still proclaiming that he had some good inside him.  
  
Voldemort couldn’t stop laughing; he had never felt this before. It was all so funny and a little heart-breaking as well. Honestly no matter what he would do, Hadrian would always love him.  
  
As Voldemort calmed down again he looked up and Hadrian still was there looking at him, but the image seemed to be fading away. Voldemort resisted the urge to reach out his hand and touch him, knowing it was impossible and he still felt angered by it all.  
  
Hadrian would forever be unreachable for him. Yet he was always there and Voldemort closed his eyes with a soft sigh, still feeling the sea breeze against his body.  
  
“I love you and I believe in you, Tom.” Hadrian’s voice echoed through the silence and he felt the warmth rush through him as the dream faded away.  
  
  
When Voldemort woke up hours later he felt a bit sleepy still, but more rested in ways that he had never felt before. Hadrian’s last words were stuck inside his mind. How foolish indeed, that emotion called love. But he would accept Hadrian’s love, that feeling of utter bliss every time.  
  
He didn’t think he could life without it ever again. If only… if only Hadrian was real and he could truly touch him. To kiss those sweet lips that whispered those beautiful words of love.  
  
Voldemort sighed and noticed that it was already dark outside. He had slept the whole day away and even now he still felt tired. He stood up from the armchair and decided to take a quick shower and then turn to bed.  
  
Hadrian was right, he did need to take better care of himself. He had truly neglected his body in being afraid of sleeping.  
  
The days, weeks and months that followed Voldemort’s mood lightened and even though he still tortured and killed it seemed like it wasn’t happening that often anymore.  
  
The death eaters noticed the sudden shift and had become restless at first, just waiting for the Dark Lord to lose his calm.  
  
But almost every night in his dreams Voldemort would spend time with Hadrian. They talked and talked and Voldemort had to admit he was quite happy… He assumed it was something akin to happiness at least, considering he never felt like this. But it felt good, quite good.  
  
And Hadrian indeed knew everything about him; his complete past, the orphanage, and his Hogwarts years Hadrian had seen it all and didn’t judge him. Hadrian only tried to make sure he made the right choices and he took care of himself. His angel had even said to him that during the first years of his life he had been able to see him. Voldemort couldn’t recall because he had been too young.  
  
But somehow that angered him, that so many years ago he had seen his guardian angel for real instead of in his dreams. Hadrian had explained that children were still pure and innocent and because of that they were able to see them. But as they grew older they lost their purity and the gift was lost.  
  
Hadrian also told him about their past lives together, which sounded strange. Voldemort still was reluctant to believe in anything of reincarnation. But Hadrian firmly stated that it was real. Death was never the end and souls lived on while bodies decayed.  
  
Voldemort thought it surreal that at times Hadrian and he had been brothers, father and son, enemies and even lovers. No matter what life they had their paths had always crossed at one point. Hadrian said that fate always made sure that things happened in the right way and time.  
  
Despite that Voldemort didn’t completely believe Hadrian’s words he did quite enjoy listening to his angel and just walking over the endless beach with him. And before Voldemort had even realised it 6 months had went by.  
  
Voldemort had once more tried to grab Hadrian’s hand, but when he had tried everything had gone black and he woke up feeling dissatisfied. At least it hadn’t ended in a nightmare.  
  
But he learned to resist the urge and simply be happy to talk with his angel. Yet the urge remained and it wanted out. Voldemort had questioned Hadrian if it was truly impossible.  
  
Hadrian had said that because angels were pure beings and humans were impure that it was forever impossible. No human ever remained pure and Hadrian had said that because of the horcruxes he had created his impurity was even worse. His soul would forever be tainted by this.  
  
And as Hadrian had said those words he stopped walking. Voldemort frowned and looked next to him to Hadrian who stared at the sea. Voldemort followed the other’s gaze. “Tom… this life you live. It will be truly your last.”  
  
Voldemort tensed and Hadrian looked over to him. Those green eyes were sad and Voldemort felt everything inside him screaming fear.  
  
“Because you destroyed your own soul you will not be able to reincarnate. I… find myself sad because of that. I always enjoyed your company, no matter which life we lead.” Hadrian whispered.  
  
“I will not die!” Voldemort screamed. “Because of my horcruxes I will never die.”  
  
Hadrian’s lips turned upwards the slightest bit, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes anymore. Those vibrant green eyes that always were so warm were now distant and Voldemort opened his mouth, but closed it again when he knew no words he said could make this better.  
  
Voldemort knew that Hadrian wanted him to reabsorb the horcruxes, but he could not and would not. He wasn’t going to die. He was going to live forever and Hadrian would always be there.  
  
Hadrian seemed to want to say something, but then his angel softly sighed and looked back up at Tom. “I am sorry, Tom.” Hadrian said and Voldemort could truly hear and feel the other’s guilt.  
  
Something was wrong. “What for?” He asked softly. Voldemort didn’t know whether he wanted to know, but Hadrian didn’t reply. He just shook his head and continued on walking. Voldemort stared at Hadrian’s back as he felt himself waking up and he struggled to stay asleep, but he failed.  
  
Hadrian was keeping something from him that was Voldemort’s first thought when he woke up. Voldemort had been in contact with Hadrian for 6 months now and he knew that Hadrian was keeping secrets, but he also knew that Hadrian couldn’t tell him anything. It wasn’t allowed and even Hadrian admitted he didn’t know everything.  
  
The archangels didn’t answer his questions anymore and Hadrian had no knowledge of something that he wanted to know. At least that is what he told Voldemort.  
  
It bothered him a bit. The not knowing and somehow he had a terrible feeling inside him. It was like his instincts were screaming at him and he had no idea why.  



	8. Reborn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom and Hadrian have bonded through the two years and when Tom hears the prophecy from Severus everything comes crashing down.  
> Hadrian is forced to accept fate and to be reborn and Tom even in his anger realises he will never be the same without Hadrian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter :).
> 
> Well… I kind of guess this is either a chapter everyone has been waiting for, or people might have feared xD?
> 
> Despite that I still hope you all enjoy :)!  
> And all mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^!! 
> 
> And cya next update :)!

### Chapter 7: Reborn

**4 November 1979:**

“He is changing…” Michael muttered.  
  
Gabriel stayed quiet as they watched how Tom was planning another raid with his death eaters. “Yes, slightly still, but he has changed.”  
  
Michael looked up to Gabriel who was standing next to him. “Is this what we were waiting for?” He asked her and Gabriel looked sad as she gave a slight nod.  
  
Michael had no idea why they had waited till this moment and Gabriel walked away while Michael kept his eyes on the death eater meeting, knowing that Hadrian and the other guardian angels in the room were unaware of their presence anyway.  
  
It was cruel that was Michael’s only thought at that point. Cruel to rip Hadrian away when Tom and Hadrian had gotten so close to each other. The archangels knew that Tom saw Hadrian as his only true friend now, even though the wizard desired far more than only friendship. Tom however had opened up to Hadrian in these past 2 years and Hadrian was always there to listen to Tom, no matter what it was about.  
  
Hadrian had kept trying to persuade Tom to absorb his soul pieces, but no matter what the angel said Tom didn’t listen. Michael had even understood that sometimes the two of them got into small arguments about stuff, yet it never took long before Tom’s anger faded away again.  
  
It was clear that Tom would be utterly devastated the moment he found out that Hadrian was gone.  
  
“I don’t understand why…” Michael whispered as he watched the scene unfold in front of his eyes. Gabriel had already left and his questions remained unanswered.  
  
4 November 1979:  
Time passed too quickly for Voldemort’s liking. It always seemed like it was just yesterday that he first saw Hadrian, but it had been more than two years now.  
  
Throughout the years Hadrian had still tried to get him to absorb his horcruxes, but he had said he would most likely never do that. Voldemort didn’t listen to Hadrian’s clearly well-meant advice.  
  
Though he did take better care of himself, but he wasn’t about to throw away his immortality. To throw away everything he had been working on for all those years. This was something he wasn’t going to give up, no matter what. And eventually Hadrian had reluctantly relented and accepted it, knowing that Tom would not budge on the matter at all.  
  
Voldemort at times still had a bad feeling and Hadrian had agreed, saying that he could feel it as well, yet neither the angel nor the human knew what was coming their way and they had mostly ignored it. And because of that they rarely spoke about what was bothering Hadrian. Voldemort knew the angel couldn’t tell him anyway so the subject was avoided. Hadrian had admitted at one point that he could not speak of what the future could bring even though he could see different outcomes depending on the choices he would made.  
  
Voldemort did realise that something was going to happen in the future and he didn’t quite like it to not know what. To keep his mind occupied he focused more and more on trying to win this stupid war as he ordered another attack on the Ministry, from the inside out.  
  
Voldemort could feel Hadrian’s presence next to him, calming him and despite the terrible feeling inside him, which was once again there. He relaxed knowing that Hadrian was there and would not leave, no matter what he would do.  
  
Voldemort would never admit it out loud, but his guardian angel had become his one and only friend. His true confidant and still he wanted more, but he knew it was impossible. Even books and research would not give him what he wanted. To be able to touch Hadrian was out of the question.  
  
Even the potion he had created couldn’t help him with it, because he would never drink it himself. Honestly the temptation had been there. Because if he could remember his previous lives than he might also remember how it felt like to have had Hadrian as his lover.  
  
But the downsides that the potion had and that Voldemort couldn’t fix no matter how hard he tried made his decision final. He would never drink the potion himself, because he didn’t want to take the risk of landing in coma and never waking up. Or waking up and still suffering from the aftereffects of remembering his past lives. Some of his test subjects had gone insane because of it.  
  
Of course, Hadrian hadn’t been glad when he had created the potion and tested it on some muggles. Yet even in the end his angel could never stay angry at him for long and always seemed to forgive him.  
  
At those awful days where he longed for more Voldemort simply reminded himself that Hadrian was there, in a way forever out of his reach, but there for him anyway. So instead he tried being satisfied with simply spending time together with Hadrian inside his dreams. Just seeing his angel and seeing him smiling at him.  
  
Some days that was enough, other days Voldemort couldn’t help but want for something more. It was an endless struggle…    
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Hadrian sadly watched as Tom ordered the death eaters to attack the ministry, knowing that maybe more lives would be lost this day.  
  
If only he could truly convince Tom to stop, but despite everything he said Tom still didn’t listen to him. Still he tried to somehow change the other, but Tom was stubborn and those moments they would get into small arguments that luckily never lasted long.  
  
Still it hurts Hadrian that even now it seemed like he was failing.  He sighed softly as he glanced sideways to Tom who sat there on his throne.  
  
He could still see Tom’s human features even though he didn’t look human at all anymore. Hadrian had hoped that Tom would restore his soul. The next lives he would be living Tom wouldn’t be there anymore.  
  
Tom’s broken soul would never be able to pass on and be reborn; he would be forever stuck in limbo. Hadrian knew however that Tom didn’t fully believe in reincarnation. Tom also believed that he would truly live forever and Hadrian didn’t dare tell him that fate had strange ways and could be cruel at times.  
  
To split your soul like Tom did always left lasting damage and Hadrian knew that in the end of the line souls always needed to pass on. Fate would try to find a way to ensure that it would happen. Hadrian didn’t want to think about the future and what could possibly happen to Tom.  
  
His visions were still limited and time was slowly running out…  
  
**15 November 1979:**  
Hadrian watched as Severus Snape bowed deeply. Severus seemed to on edge and Hadrian knew why. The young wizard had overheard the prophecy foretelling the downfall of the Dark Lord. Well only the first part at least, but it would be enough for Tom to seek that prophecy child out and kill him. Hadrian didn’t want to see Tom murder an innocent child, but he knew that nothing could be changed now.  
  
He could try and stop Tom and pray that somehow Tom might listen to him, but other than that he could do nothing.  
  
Hadrian could only watch as Severus spoke those words that would change everything. ‘ _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…And the Dark Lord will mark him as equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not…’_  
  
It was this exact moment that was the last moment of Hadrian’s visions. After this he couldn’t see Tom’s future anymore. The moment he had dreaded had come and he could do nothing but watch as it all played out.  
  
It went exactly as Hadrian thought it would go. Severus told Tom of the prophecy and Tom grew restless and anxious. He was suddenly back in muggle war and afraid of dying in it. A fear that was so deep ingrained in Tom that it would always be there and Hadrian felt awful that even now Tom still had flashbacks on it.  
  
A child that could vanquish him, death… It was something that Tom couldn’t quite comprehend as the replayed the words from the prophecy over in his mind. Hadrian gathered Tom in his arms and Tom tensed feeling the sudden warmth of his angel surrounding him. His fear quickly turned into another familiar emotion for Tom. Anger or more like pure fury.  
  
“Did you know?” Tom asked and his voice sounded strained, as he desperately kept his emotions in check. Severus seemed confused and opened his mouth, but he couldn’t get a word out as the Dark Lord screamed.  
  
“Did you fucking know!?” Tom screamed and he lashed out as he got up from his throne and stared at the place where Hadrian was standing now. He could clearly feel the presence and it only angered him even more.    
  
Severus backed away with wide eyes as the dark magic swirled around the Dark Lord.  
  
“Did you know Hadrian!?” Voldemort screamed and glared angrily, not realising that Severus was still there and was watching with wide and confused eyes.  
  
“Answer me!” Voldemort yelled as a surge of magic blasted into the throne in front of him and it was destroyed instantly. “HADRIAN!” The scream of the name echoed through the throne room and the hall were some more death eaters were.  
  
None of them knew anyone with the name Hadrian and they only watched with fear in their eyes as the Dark Lord finally seemed to lose it.  
  
Severus didn’t stay much longer in the room then was necessary and he quickly moved out. He believed he had done right in telling him, but now he truly doubted it after seeing the Dark Lord’s state.  
  
Meanwhile Hadrian tried to reach through the haze of negative emotions that Tom was feeling, but he could not get through. Tom had completely blocked him out at this point and Hadrian kept begging and asking Tom to let him in at this point, but his voice went unheard again.  
  
It was truly hurting him to see Tom like this; he had not expected Tom’s reaction to be this fierce. The wizard’s magic was completely out of control as was Tom.  
  
It was truly a terrifying sight and Hadrian could understand Severus for leaving the room. But Tom’s magic could not hurt him and he attempted to calm the furious wizard down.  
  
But it was not working; his efforts were in vain as Tom destroyed everything in his anger and fear. Tom moved with deadly precision and slashed his wand at every wall as if attempting to hit his angel in the process, so furious he was.  
  
Emerald eyes stared at the sight before him as Tom started laughing like a manic and stopped casting spells. “You knew… you fucking knew didn’t you…” Tom gasped out. Red-slitted eyes looked around the destroyed room, a crazy gleam in them. Voldemort was unable to feel Hadrian’s presence, it was gone and the Dark Lord knew he had blocked his angel out.  
  
“You betrayed me…” Tom muttered and his voice was a mere sad whisper that broke Hadrian’s heart.  
  
“I am sorry, I couldn’t tell.” Hadrian said in a desperate voice, but his words went unheard. “I couldn’t tell…” Hadrian muttered sadly, shaking his head.  
  
The days that passed Hadrian couldn’t make contact with Tom, since the angry wizard was shutting him out. And when 5 days had passed he was summoned to come before the archangels.  
  
**20 November 1979:**  
“I refuse!” Hadrian’s angry voice echoed through the hallways and the whole room.  
  
“You have no choice, Hadrian,” Gabriel said. “You must understand that Tom’s soul is broken and beyond repair. You must have seen by now that he does not want to feel any remorse. That he does not wish to restore his soul.”  
  
“I can help him. I promised to help him! To Merope and to Tom himself.” Hadrian argued. “You can’t just let me become a human. This is not fair!”  
  
Michael placed a hand on Hadrian’s shoulder, but the other angrily forced it off and Michael sighed. “Hadrian, we don’t want this any more than you do.” Michael whispered.  
  
“Then don’t!” Hadrian pleaded, but he knew it was useless. He could see the answer already in Gabriel’s eyes. This was not their decisions, this was fate intervening. “Please… please let me speak to him one last time.” Hadrian begged as he looked at Gabriel.  
  
“You can’t tell him, Hadrian,” Gabriel said with a soft shake of her head. “So you speaking to him is useless and besides how he is now he will not let you in.”    
  
Hadrian opened his mouth and closed it again after only a small sob came out. He could not believe this. This was the reason why he had not seen more. Why his visions had ended here… This was why…  It made sense now and he felt stupid in not having seen this before.  
  
But this was simply unheard of… Guardian angels always remained with their humans till their souls would cross over. So why then… Why had they forsaken Tom? Hadrian knew the answer. It was because of the fact that Tom’s soul was split and utter regret flooded him as he realised how greatly he had failed Tom.  
  
Even if he could not tell Tom Hadrian wanted to speak to him one last time. But thinking about it he was reminded of the fact that Tom was still indeed blocking him out and it would be useless to go back to him at this point.  
  
It would only cause unnecessary suffering and pain for him to face Tom now. He took a few deep breaths, already knowing that not even he could fight against fate. It was just cruel…  
  
Hadrian looked up into Gabriel’s eyes and saw the pity there. “Remember Hadrian, no matter what happens you are never completely alone.”  
  
Those words should have made him feel better, but instead the words felt empty and worthless. “Could you tell me something at least? I know I will not remember any of this, but please tell me if I will meet Tom in my new life.”  
  
Gabriel’s answer was a brief nod and Hadrian felt a small flutter of hope. If he did indeed meet Tom, then maybe he could help him somehow, someway. Hadrian gritted his teeth, knowing that his knowledge of all these years would be gone.  
  
He would not know of Tom’s past. Of the struggles that Tom went through and Tom didn’t let anyone get close enough to let them know. Tom didn’t afford such a weakness. Hadrian knew he had been the only exception because he was simply there for him and Tom knew he was unable to leave him or tell anyone else.  
  
Tom’s secrets, everything had always been safe with him, but now it was all over. Hadrian knew that something was bound to happen, but he didn’t except fate to mess things up like this. “Will Tom be alright?” Hadrian asked.  
  
“I am afraid I can’t answer that question, Hadrian.” Gabriel replied in a sad tone. Hadrian noticed that Gabriel gave a brief nod to Michael and some of the other angels that were present. Hadrian just sighed as he accepted his fate.  
  
He had no idea what kind of life he would be leading now, but he knew it was useless to fight against fate itself. He just had to deal with it. There was no other way.  
  
He just hoped that Tom would be alright. He hoped that maybe with his new life as a human he could reach Tom better.  
  
With these hopes he felt his soul flying away and leaving this dimension behind. His soul would rest until he was to be reborn.  
  
Hadrian’s last lingering thoughts before everything disappeared from his mind were completely focused on Tom. His voice echoed through his mind hoping that Tom would hear his last words. “I am sorry, Tom. Please remember that I will always love you.”  
  
Hadrian could feel however that his words didn’t go through. Tom was still blocking him out and then everything around him faded into nothingness. As every memory disappeared from his mind and soul becoming nothing more than a blank slate and his soul was ready to be reborn.  
  
**31 July 1980:**  
Michael watched as Lily pushed and pushed and screamed as she was giving birth to a new life. Hadrian’s new life…  
  
The new-born cried as the cold air hit his body. Michael watched as both James and Lily smiled proudly at their son.  
  
Green innocent eyes blinked open as the child wailed and was wrapped in warm blankets after he had been cleaned.  
  
Michael smiled softly as those eyes looked up at him. “You will need to be brave, Hadrian. I cannot see as much as Gabriel but the path in front of you will be difficult. But never give up, no matter what may happen.”  
  
Green eyes dropped close as Lily held her son against her chest. “Harry….” Lily whispered fondly. “My sweet little Harry.” Michael could feel Lily’s love and it was so strong that it made him smile a bit. Though it hurt to know that Lily wouldn’t be spared and Harry would live his life without her and his father.  
  
**31 October 1981:**  
Gone… he was gone. Voldemort had no idea how he knew, but he just instinctively knew. Hadrian had left.  
  
After all those promises about forever staying with him, his guardian angel just abandoned him, just like that. Like he meant nothing to him…  
  
Everything had gone downhill quickly after that. Voldemort had completely lost himself and he was aware of it. He hadn’t known that in a way Hadrian had kept him sane. He had been so furious that he even screamed at Albus that he had taken Hadrian away from him. Albus had needed to flee when his magic had almost destroyed them both. Those blue eyes had been wide with shock as the headmaster had noticed his uncontrollable fury. Albus had said he didn’t know anyone with the name Hadrian.  
  
Of course he didn’t know. Hadrian was his guardian angel, and his alone. No one knew of him…  
  
He stopped in front of the cottage seeing that the light inside was still on, despite that it was late at night. The Potters… Harry Potter. A half-blood just like himself and a child of James and Lily, who had defied him three times just like the prophecy stated.  
  
He needed to kill this child, to destroy it before it could grow up. He couldn’t allow any threat to live.  
  
Voldemort missed something in that moment… if Hadrian was here, he would have told him to stop this. That killing an innocent child was wrong, but Hadrian had left him.  
  
So he could do whatever he wanted. Red eyes narrowed in barely restrained anger as he silently approached the house; he should stop thinking about such things.  
  
He should think about the Potters and their demise and how stupid they were to trust in another human being. It was impossible to completely trust someone else and they would learn that lesson today.  
  
With a simply unlocking charm he opened the door. They hadn’t even warded it. Their trust in Wormtail was truly foolish.  
  
“Sirius?” A voice asked from the living room and James stepped into the hallway and immediately tensed upon seeing him. “Lily, take Harry and run! It’s _him_.” He screamed then.  
  
Voldemort could hear some noises coming from the living room and then footsteps going up the stairs. James braced himself and it was at that point that Voldemort noted that the other wizard didn’t even have his wand in his hand.  
  
“Avada Kedavra.” Voldemort said as he pointed his wand towards James, but the wizard quickly moved out of the way of the deadly curse, pushing his whole body against the wall as the curse sped past him.  
  
James moved back towards where the stairs were, intending to protect his wife and his son. But Voldemort wasn’t about to back down and he glided forward quickly, killing James when he tried to run up the stairs.  
  
Red eyes stared down at the black-haired male that was lying dead at his feet now. He looked up and moved up the stairs. He could hear noise coming from one room and he blasted the door open.  
  
Lily immediately turned around and stood in front of a small cod. Her hands wide as she was intent on protecting her son. “Please, don’t kill him.” Lily begged.  
  
“Step aside you foolish girl.” Voldemort snarled. Severus had asked her to be spared, so he would try and spare her. But his patience was running low; the child he needed to kill was just in his grasp, the only thing standing between them was this woman.  
  
“No, please I beg you. Kill me, but please don’t kill him.” Lily pleaded as she cried.  
  
She kept begging and Voldemort raised his wand at her. “Step aside right now!” He told her but she shook her head, tears streaming from those green eyes. Green eyes that slightly reminded him of Hadrian’s eyes, yet they were different somehow.  
  
“Please, not my son! Not my dear Harry!” She screamed almost desperate as she didn’t move away.  
  
Voldemort quickly grew tired of this game. He was frustrated at her for surrendering herself in place of her son, how she so fearlessly threw her life away for her child. So he accepted her wish as he cast the killing curse once more and her lifeless body fell to the floor. Severus wouldn’t be pleased at all…  
  
Voldemort glared down at her as he stepped towards the small cod. It was then when he glanced up and saw those emerald eyes staring at him that his steps faltered and his mouth opened slightly in shock.  
  
 He stood there frozen as they stared at each other. He lowered his wand as those innocent green eyes looked up at him, as if knowing… As if knowing why he was here and the worse part of it, the child wasn’t even scared of him.  
  
He knew he looked like a true monster, yet instead of backing away like any normal person or child would do Harry Potter reached out to him. Voldemort felt his breath hitch and stubbornly reminded himself that reincarnation didn’t exist… he firmly believed that, despite how often Hadrian tried to convince him otherwise.  
  
There was no way that this child was Hadrian. This was Harry Potter, the one he needed to kill. With new determination running through him he pointed his wand straight at the child’s head. Red-slitted eyes glaring down at the child.  
  
Yet still Harry didn’t seem afraid at all, though the child did lower his hand. “You are not him. Do not think you can fool me!” Voldemort screamed. “Hadrian is gone….” Voldemort hated how weak his voice sounded with his last sentence and he shook his head, attempting to clear his head.  
  
Without wasting any more time he cast the killing curse, but red eyes widened as he saw it rebound. The distance was too small for him to evade the spell and it happened too quickly.    
  
He screamed as he felt his soul being torn from his body. Vaguely he was aware of crying and he knew that it was the child, but then everything disappeared into blackness. He felt lost and confused, nothing more than a small weak sliver of his soul. A mere ghost as he left the destroyed room behind.


	9. Life at the Dursleys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry’s life with his relatives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter :).
> 
> Hope you all enjoy(even though it is rather short…)  
> And all mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^!! I really appreciate it and I am still amazed so many people actually like this idea. 
> 
> Extra author’s note:  
> I did not have much time to write these past days, so at the moment the next update might be a bit later.  
> And also an extra warning I think. This chapter can be kind of depressing.

### Chapter 8: Life at the Dursleys

**12 August 1985:**  


Michael stared down at Harry whose green eyes blinked up at him. He could only hope that somewhere Harry would remember his words.  
  
“Don’t ever forget Harry,” Michael whispered as he leaned closer towards the small boy who was shivering inside the cupboard. “There is good and evil in everyone and love is the greatest power out there. Don’t ever forget this, Harry.”  
  
Michael could see shimmering anger in Harry’s teary eyes and he couldn’t blame the child after he just got locked inside the cupboard after getting his hand burned on the stove and getting hit with the frying pan by his aunt.  
  
Michael had not foreseen this all and it bothered him that Hadrian had ended up in such a sad life. But somehow there must be a reason for this all. At least that is what Michael kept telling himself.  
  
Michael knew it wouldn’t be long before Harry would be unable to see him. And he would feel truly alone.  
  
“I don’t understand…” Harry whimpered softly. “I didn’t do anything wrong, did I?” Michael softly shook his head. Because in truth Harry hadn’t done anything wrong.  
  
A child of only 5 should not be a cook to a whole family. Petunia and Vernon were wrong here, but Michael could only hope that despite Harry’s upbringing he would still grow up into a good person and would not chose the same road that Tom Riddle took. Their upbringings were currently a bit similar after all and it worried Michael a lot.  
  
In the end Michael had seen that Tom had doubted for one second before the killing curse was cast towards Harry. One second… but it had been there. Somewhere deep down Tom must have realised who had been looking back at him, but Tom had denied it, because he didn’t believe in reincarnation.  
  
Yet that one second of doubt gave Michael hope that maybe Harry could reach Tom now that he was human. That is if their paths would cross again. Currently the Dark Lord was living somewhere in the Albania forest and trying to possess animals, anything at all, just to continue existing. But he was still weak so he could merely possess them for a limited time before their bodies were destroyed.  
  
“Michael…” Harry whispered softly and the voice sounded so sad and weak that Michael hated it and wanted to gather Harry in his arms and tell him everything was alright. “Is love really that strong?”  
  
“Yes, it is Harry. And everyone wants to be loved, no exceptions. Especially those who shut everyone out need to feel love the most.” Michael said.  
  
Harry shook his head and sighed softly. His hand was still hurting, but not as much anymore, as if it somehow had healed a bit. But Harry didn’t think about it anymore as he closed his eyes and eventually fell asleep, while Michael silently watched over him.  
  
That was the last time that Harry saw and heard Michael and years later he would blame it on his imagination and that Michael had been nothing more than an imaginary friend.  
****  
20 December 1989:  
Harry sighed as he sat in his cupboard, trying to keep as silent as possible. He knew he had to make himself invisibly and to not be heard. He knew punishments were waiting for him if he even made one small sound. He had learned that at a young age.  
  
His uncle Vernon would hit him and then proceed to force him back into this cupboard that was his room.  
  
He wondered if this was even alright, the way they treated him. Harry wasn’t stupid and he knew that Dudley, his cousin, was clearly treated differently.  
  
They whispered nice things to Dudley and nice nicknames. Harry had only been called ‘ _boy_ ’ and _‘freak’_.  It took some time before Harry realised the meaning of the word freak, but when he was old enough and he understood, it had actually hurt him a lot. Meanwhile Dudley was called Duddiekins by aunt Petunia, a nice nickname that had no bad meaning.  
  
They clearly treated him different and it was not only that, but also with the food. Dudley could get everything he wanted and he should be happy if he got even one small plate with some food on it. Harry noticed that while he was small and thin that Dudley seemed to gain weight and get fatter every year.  
  
And when he did better at school than Dudley uncle Vernon had blamed him for cheating and even aunt Petunia had been furious, so Harry quickly made himself seem stupid, to try and to not anger his uncle or aunt. His teachers had been worried when his grades had dropped, but he had shrugged it off after his uncle had told his teachers that he had cheated.  
  
Harry couldn’t believe how stupid those teachers were when they actually believed uncle Vernon. They were just all blinded by his uncle’s words and Harry didn’t dare speak up and say that he hadn’t cheated.  
  
Harry knew that this wasn’t right, but he was at least glad he had a roof above his head… That is what he kept telling himself at least. And he tried to see the good in them, he didn’t know why, considering that they treated him so horrible, but he could remember an imaginary friend who once told him that when he was young. And that is why even now he tried to believe in the good that was in every person, even if it was not there in plain view.  
  
Right now uncle Vernon’s friends and his co-workers were there spending an evening together playing cards or whatever they did. Harry honestly didn’t care.  
  
He could hear the chattering and knew that maybe soon uncle Vernon’s friends would leave; at least he hoped they would soon leave. Harry was starting to feel cramps in his legs, but he didn’t dare move even a muscle in case he might make some sound.  
  
The space he believed was rather big in the past had become almost too small for him now, but he didn’t dare hope that he would get the second bedroom upstairs. Uncle Vernon had made it clear that he should be glad they hadn’t thrown him out at all.  
  
Harry had a feeling that a 9 year old would not exactly be fit enough to survive the outside world and to live on the streets. Maybe he would die out there all alone… well he was alone in here as well, but at least he got something to eat, instead of having to find food somehow.  
  
Harry withheld a sigh and carefully shifted as he tried to lessen the cramps in his legs. It didn’t ease up at all and if he tried to lie down he was actually afraid he would make too much noise.  
  
So he gritted his teeth and closed his eyes as he fought desperately against the pain. He could still hear the voices coming from the living room and he hoped that this torment would soon end. His hands clenched into fists as the cramps became almost unbearable and he pushed his fists against his calves, hoping to massage the pain away a bit.  
  
He let out a small breath and shook his head as he heard laughter coming from the living room he quickly shifted and stretched his legs. He lay down on his side, still feeling the slight irritating pain, but it had lessened a bit because he had shifted.  
  
Harry tried to relax and he bit his bottom lip as he listened to the sounds coming from the living room. It didn’t seem like they heard anything and he felt relieved as he closed his eyes, feeling a small teardrop roll over his cheek.  
  
He kept breathing as silently as possibly through his nose and somehow he finally fell asleep.  


\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Harry hated the days in December. Mostly because of Christmas… it was supposed to be a happy holiday to celebrate with your family and give and get presents from each other.  
  
Harry could not remember ever getting a present, be it for his birthday or for Christmas. Another reason why he hated Christmas was that since he turned 5 he did all the cooking in the household.  
  
Harry didn’t really mind cooking, but what he did mind was preparing all that food and then not get a single bite of it at times. And Christmas was just the worse of it. He always needed to prepare a whole feast and the Dursleys would dig in while he was forced back into his cupboard.  
  
His stomach would rumble while he heard them enjoying the food and Harry was just happy when those days would end. Pity that Dudley always seemed to enjoy tormenting and the days after Christmas he would play with all his new toys he got.  
  
Harry just needed to be content with the few toy soldiers he had since…. Well forever he believed. He couldn’t recall at which age he got them. What he knew was that they were once from Dudley. So they hadn’t even bought it for him.  
  
Same went for his clothes and Harry had long since bothered to care how he was dressed, because all Dudley’s clothes were too big for him anyway.  
  
At times like these Harry wondered if this was really all there was to life. He was still young and had a whole life ahead of him. It was just at those bad times that Harry wished things would get better somehow. He had no idea how this could ever get better.  
  
In a few years uncle Vernon would send him to St Brutus's Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys. Harry didn’t like the name at all and it was clear the decision to send him there had already been made, since his uncle said he belonged there.  
  
Harry was all alone and he simply didn’t have a choice at all. He just went with it, but at times he really wanted out. The thought of running away had crossed his mind, but in the end he was too scared. He had no idea if he would be able to live on the streets, so he remained where he was.  
  
Stuck in this house and with relatives who didn’t care about him at all and maybe even hated him. What he wouldn’t give for one friend, for one person who he could trust and talk to. One person who might even understand him.  
  
But it was useless; Harry didn’t have any hope that such a foolish wish would ever come true. Dudley made sure he couldn’t make any friends after all. If anyone at school even got friendly with him Dudley and his friends would beat them and let them know not to befriend Harry Potter, the freak.  
  
Harry let out a small sigh as he held one of his toy soldiers in his hand. He often wondered how he could have enjoyed himself with this plastic toy in the past, but he knew he would imagine them fighting battles and one side winning.  
  
Nowadays even that couldn’t bring him any fun. Harry put the toy soldier on a shelf and stared at the other plastic soldiers who were standing or lying there. Maybe life just wasn’t supposed to be fun.


	10. First year at Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A memory of Tom and Hadrian.  
> And Harry’s first year and meeting with Voldemort for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter :).
> 
> Hope you all enjoy ^-^!  
> And all mistakes are still my own!!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^!! 
> 
> And sorry that this update is a bit later than normal. It has been a hectic week and my inspiration to write is slowly hitting a dead end T.T… 
> 
> Anyway cya next update ^-^!!

### Chapter 9: First year at Hogwarts

“Heey Tom,” Hadrian whispered as those green eyes watching the ocean in front of him. The angel heard Tom hum softly next to him, indicating that he was listening. The wizard was lying on his back, staring up at the blue sky above them, seemingly content. “I thought back on a life we led many years ago and how foolish we were back then.” Hadrian knew that Tom wouldn’t quite like it that he was bringing this up again, but he couldn’t help it. He just kind of felt the need to speak to Tom about it.  
  
Voldemort looked sideways towards Hadrian, but the angel kept his eyes on the ocean. Yet he could see a certain sadness in those emerald eyes. “We always must pay for whatever we do one way or another, life isn’t fair in the end is it.” Hadrian muttered softly and Voldemort had barely caught the sentence.  
  
Voldemort had no idea what Hadrian was talking about and he frowned a bit. “What brought this up?” He questioned and Hadrian looked over to him, their eyes meeting for one second before Hadrian looked away again.  
  
“You see I was the son of someone you ended up killing in the Pequot war. I never ended up forgiving you for it and was angered at what had happened to my father,” Hadrian said while he softly shook his head. Voldemort remained quiet as he waited for the other to continue. “It was a war, but as a child I could hardly grasp it and when it ended you had survived.”  
  
Voldemort somehow had the terrible feeling he wasn’t going to like this story and Hadrian spoke even softer, almost as if he didn’t want to admit his faults from his other life. “The survivors from the Pequot tribe were either enslaved or they submitted and they were stripped of the name’s tribe, eventually ending the Pequot’s line. You were one of those who were captured but refused to submit.”  
  
Hadrian stopped again and sighed and then looked over to Tom who was still staring up at him. “When I had the chance I slipped into the cells and with a knife stabbed you to death,” Hadrian admitted and Voldemort felt something inside him freeze at those cold words. “Of course I was also killed, since I had no right to take your life at that point. The war was already over after all.” Hadrian muttered with a small laugh, hoping to ease the tension.  
  
“Why are you telling this to me?” Voldemort asked softly as he sat up a bit and eyed his angel.  
  
Hadrian looked away to the ocean and Voldemort could hear the waves crash against the shore, but his eyes were fixed on Hadrian, seeing every little detail in the angel’s beautiful face. “In the next life I was barely 9 years old when you killed me.”  
  
Voldemort frowned at his angel’s words, not believing that at one point he had killed Hadrian. Hadrian looked back at him, his green eyes unreadable. “I deserved it for what I did in our life before that.”  
  
Despite that Voldemort didn’t believe that he had lived many more lives than this one, it was clear that Hadrian did believe and somewhere deep in those green eyes he could see that his angel wasn’t lying.  
  
“Fate can be a bitch, Tom. But in the end Karma is just as awful.” Hadrian whispered.  
****  
**3 September 1991:**  
Harry sat near the window and stared out at the dark school grounds down there. The black lake and the forbidden forest and what Harry knew to be Hagrid’s hut.  
  
The past months had been strange and unbelievable. How could it be real after all? Uncle Vernon had so often said that there was no such thing as magic, yet here he was sitting in a castle somewhere in Scotland and he is supposedly a wizard.  
  
If he had not seen the things he had and the stuff that Hagrid showed him, Harry wouldn’t have believed it. At first he thought it was just a dream, too good to be real. A way out of his relatives’ house, since going to Hogwarts meant that he would be away for most of the year.  
  
But upon seeing Diagon Alley, seeing people use magic and see stuff that clearly seemed impossible Harry believed there might be some truth to it. Magic was real and he is a wizard.  
  
It made Harry immensely happy to see a whole another world out there and to know that it had always been there, he just hadn’t known… And he felt like this was exactly where he belonged. The wizarding world and Hogwarts especially already felt like home.    
  
The only downside that Harry saw at this point was that he was famous. He never liked standing in the spotlights and everyone in the wizarding world seemed to know his name. The constant stares and whispers of his name made him feel like some kind of celebrity and he didn’t like it one bit.  
  
All because of that when he was a mere baby he had apparently defeated Voldemort, a Dark Lord who everyone seemed to fear. Since that moment everyone had worshipped him and named him The-Boy-Who-Lived. Because he survived Voldemort’s killing curse and after that day no one ever saw the Dark Lord again.  
  
Harry honestly didn’t know how to handle this sudden fame and it made him feel slightly out of place. He hated it; he had no other way to describe it.  
  
And the strangest part of Hogwarts was maybe Severus Snape, who just seemed to hate him with a passion and Harry had no idea why. He had never met the potion’s professor before in his entire life. Harry also felt the scar on his forehead throb slightly when he had looked at the professor the first time he entered the great hall.  
  
Through it all Harry had a difficult time to adjust to his new life. Luckily he met Ron Weasley who had somehow become his friend, his very first friend and wasn’t that strange? This was a friend that Dudley could not take away from him, because Dudley wasn’t here and Harry felt quite happy with that.  
  
As the months passed Harry grew used to magic and the castle in itself. Ron and he befriended Hermione after she almost got killed by a troll during Halloween’s eve.  
  
Harry honestly had no idea how they got wrapped up into the secret on the third floor corridor soon after, but somehow everything seemed to be driving him towards it.  
  
The three-headed dog that apparently Hagrid had bought clearly protected something. It was nearing the end of the year when everything came to a close and they suspected Snape was after the philosopher’s stone.  
  
A way to resurrect Voldemort, Harry reasoned that the creature which had almost attacked and killed him during his detention in the Forbidden Forest was Voldemort, like the centaur had suggested. The Dark Lord was surviving off on unicorn blood, which was pure and would taint his soul to drink it.  
  
Harry couldn’t imagine why someone would go that far at all. All to stay alive or come back alive. Harry just didn’t understand it.  
  
So that is why when they went towards the third floor corridor to stop Snape and Harry was faced with professor Quirrell, to say he was shocked was an understatement. He could not believe that it was the Defence against the Dark Arts teacher that was standing there in front of a mirror that Harry recognized as the Mirror of Erised and he briefly wondered why it was there in the first place.  
  
Dumbledore had said it would be moved and that he should not search for it after all. But to move it to the forbidden third floor corridor… While it had been in just an empty classroom before this was baffling to Harry.  
  
Quirrell spoke and said that he had been the one trying to find the stone all along and not Snape and Harry had the urge to run away when he heard a cold voice speak and order Quirrell to use him to find the stone.  
  
When he tried however black robes flowed from Quirrell’s robes and tied him. Harry struggled and looked desperately at the professor who pulled him closer until he was standing closely behind him and was looking into the mirror.  
  
Instead of seeing his parents this time he saw something else, he saw his mirror self put a red stone in his pocket and when Harry moved his hand over said pocket he felt something in it that wasn’t there before. He realised with clarity that somehow he had gotten the stone from the mirror and he lied to Quirrell about what he saw.  
  
“I see my parents.” Harry whispered softly. It wasn’t exactly a lie, since he had seen them before in this same mirror.  
  
“You lie…” The cold voice whispered. “Let me speak to him.”  
  
Harry shivered and glanced up at Quirrell who seemed to debate this and eventually weakly muttered. “M-my Lord, you’re too weak.”  
  
Harry had no idea where Voldemort was at that point until Voldemort ordered Quirrell once again to let him speak to him and almost reluctantly Quirrell started to remove his turban and Harry frowned, as he tried to free himself from the black ropes around him, but it seemed useless.  
  
Harry stiffened and his eyes widened as he met another face at the back of the professor’s head. Red eyes widened for one second as their eyes met and Harry could feel his heart starting to beat louder as those eyes looked over him as if seeing a kind of ghost.    
  
Through this all Harry had a strange feeling cursing through him that he vaguely recognized. It was the same feeling that had driving him to save Hermione from the troll and the same feeling he had when he wanted to protect both of his friends.  
  
Why though? Why would Harry have such feelings regarding the… creature in front of him? For certainly Voldemort was not human at all at this point.  
  
“Hadrian…” The cold voice was a mere whisper and if Harry hadn’t been looking at Voldemort he would not have caught the soft whisper of a name. It seemed like those red eyes narrowed and the Dark Lord’s voice was cold and heartless. “Harry Potter… See what has become of me…”  
  
Harry didn’t reply. He didn’t know what he could say. This… creature had tried to kill him many years ago and now Voldemort was barely living. “See what I must do to survive,” Voldemort whispered softly. “I am nothing right now, just a mere parasite.”  
  
Harry heard Quirrell’s breath hitch at Voldemort’s words. “Give me the stone, Harry, and I could give you what you desire.” Voldemort said and Harry frowned, wondering what he did desire.  
  
In some part of his mind he desired his parents; the mirror had already showed him that. But deep down his desire for his parents was nothing more than someone to accept him, completely and truly. To have someone love him like how aunt Petunia loves her son.  
  
Red eyes watched him and Harry could almost feel as if Voldemort was looking straight through him and all his secrets were laid out bare. Harry opened his mouth, but closed it again. There was simply no way he could let Voldemort come back to life. If he handed over the stone Harry had a terrible feeling that the Dark Lord would grow stronger again and now he was indeed weak.  
  
Red eyes narrowed as if Voldemort knew what he was thinking. “Don’t be a fool, boy!” Voldemort snarled and Harry flinched at the name boy. How he hated to be called like that. Voldemort seemed to notice his reaction as those red eyes blinked a few times, as if looking over him again, seeing things that he hadn’t seen before.  
  
Harry’s hand went to his pocket and he felt the small bulge there, red eyes watched everything through the reflection. “His pocket…” Voldemort whispered and Quirrell also glanced at his hand which covered the stone hidden inside his pocket.  
  
Despite knowing that it wasn’t wise to let Voldemort have the stone, Harry also felt the need to hand it over. It was a battle somehow deep down inside him. If he did hand the stone over then Voldemort would be alive again, he wouldn’t be living as a mere parasite. The feelings of protectiveness that Harry felt now even rivalled those he felt regarding his two friends.  
  
Before Harry could even react a spell clashed against the mirror as Voldemort moved forward and Quirrell let out a shocked scream. The black ropes disappeared and Harry held up his hands as Voldemort ordered Quirrell to kill him. Harry’s eyes widened as he watched Voldemort through the reflection of the mirror and he saw something in those red eyes that he couldn’t quite place.  
  
Harry was aware of Snape screaming his name, but he could only see and feel Quirrell’s hands wrapping around his throat as the larger body fell atop his own. Yet the professor’s eyes widened as he just as quickly pulled his hands back which seemed burned.  
  
Voldemort screamed to Severus to stop interrupting and once again snarled to Quirrell to kill him already and get the stone. Harry braced himself and ignored Quirrell’s protests that his touch had burned him; the boy lunged forward and placed his hands straight against Quirrell’s chest.  
  
Harry screamed and he heard two other voices scream with him, vaguely aware that it was Quirrell and Voldemort as he felt his scar throbbing and hurting more than ever before. He closed his eyes as he saw Quirrell’s body turning into dust and then he collapsed.  
  
In the distance he could hear rushed footsteps coming towards him and two gentle hands slowly turning him on his back, before he lost consciousness.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When he woke Harry noticed he was inside the infirmary and he sat up with a pained groan, still feeling the pain inside his head. He grabbed his glasses and then looked at the end of his bed where a lot of stuff was placed on a table.  
  
“Gifts from your well-wishers,” A voice said and Harry looked up to see the headmaster enter the room and slowly sit down on a chair next to his bed. “How are you feeling, my boy?”    
  
Harry frowned, remembering what had happened and how strange it had all been. He just shrugged and then looked back to all those presents. “Ah, everyone heard about your heroic deed, Harry.” Dumbledore explained while he smiled at the candy and the cards. “How you faced off with Voldemort and professor Quirrell. I am sorry for what happened.”  
  
Harry looked back up at the elder wizard and just gave a small nod. “Sir… Do you know anyone with the Hadrian?” Harry couldn’t just forget the name and the way that Voldemort had said it. Almost in complete disbelief, but also slightly hopeful.  
  
“Hadrian, you say,” Albus muttered as he watched the young wizard nod. “It is a name I haven’t heard in a long time and no I don’t know anyone with that name.”  Harry shifted and sighed as his eyes trailed back towards all his presents. “I assume Voldemort said the name.”  
  
Harry nodded, not looking back up at the other wizard. “I see… I only heard strange rumours, but no one knows for sure,” Green eyed glanced up, curious by what Dumbledore was saying and maybe about to say. “There were certain speculations that Voldemort knew someone with the name Hadrian and that person disappeared sometime during Voldemort’s last years in power. Voldemort completely lost control and I daresay he become even more insane than he already was.”  
  
“Hadrian…. Was a friend of him then?” Harry questioned softly. It clearly sounded like Hadrian had indeed meant a lot to Voldemort, especially if the Dark Lord had gone insane after this Hadrian had left.  
  
Albus shook his head. “There were whispers that he might have been Voldemort’s lover even, but no one ever saw this person. So in the end when Voldemort started accusing and blaming everyone around him of taking Hadrian away from him, there were just the mere whispers of a madman, Harry.”  
  
The blue eyes turned sad and the elder wizard shook his head slowly. “Even now I doubt whether this person named Hadrian was ever real. So what ever happened down there, do no worry too much about it.”  
  
Harry just gave a nod and the headmaster told him that Flamel and he had decided to destroy the philosopher’s stone, so Voldemort would certainly be unable to come back using it.  
  
Afterwards Dumbledore left him alone. Harry however couldn’t just forget about it. The name Hadrian somehow sounded familiar and he couldn’t help but feel weird. He didn’t dare to tell the headmaster what he had truly been feeling.  
  
Throughout it all Harry had felt the urge to protect Voldemort, but he knew it was wrong and he had no idea where it had even come from. Why in Merlin’s name would he want to protect his parents’ murderer?


	11. The Chamber of Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom’s point of view when he first sees his guardian angel.  
> And Harry meets Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter :).
> 
> Hope you all enjoy ^-^!!  
> And all mistakes are still my own!! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^! 
> 
> Anyway happy Valentine’s Day!! (I don’t really celebrate it, but let’s count this chapter as a valentine’s gift for all you readers out there ^-^).
> 
> And cya all next update ^-^!

### Chapter 10: The Chamber of Secrets

**London, Summer 1940:**  
Tom’s body was tense as he walked in the line towards the shelter where they would be staying this night. He could feel the tension, where normally the children would be happy and carefree, now all of them were silent since the war started and Tom was almost grateful for it. If it weren’t for the awful circumstances…  
  
And it wasn’t the first time that Tom thought and wished he could use magic… if only he could escape this hellhole. But he could not and he was forced to live here in London in that stupid orphanage. The wizarding world out there didn’t care about the muggleborns that lived in the muggle world. Tom found that out the hard way.  
  
If only he could have remained at Hogwarts, at his true home. For the castle felt like home, more than any other place ever would be.  
  
Tom and all the other tensed when they heard air planes and also bombs been dropped somewhere in the distance. Tom’s wide fearful eyes stared at the sky as he heard the others already screaming and he could vaguely hear the caretakers trying to calm them down, as the sirens started wailing loudly.  
  
Tom could feel his heart beating loudly in his chest, as they started to run. It all happened so quickly and Tom could see even through his haze of fear that the others were panicking and the caretakers tried to calm them down, guiding them towards the shelter as quickly as possible. It wasn’t that far anymore…  
  
Tom felt someone bigger than him bump into him and he let out a shocked gasp as he fell to the ground. Tom’s eyes shot open as he felt several feet kick him in their hurry and he looked fearful towards the sky above him, still hearing the planes, the bombs and the sirens wailing loudly.  
  
Screams of pure terror and fear could be heard in every street and Tom managed to crawl away as he let out a pained gasp when someone’s feet collided with his leg. He pushed himself up, trying to remain calm and he wanted to use his magic. To protect himself, to save himself.  
  
But he could not and he ran after the others, not wanting to remain outside of the shelter. The shelter was a safe place and he ran as quickly as he could. He was gasping and panic was settling in.  
  
An explosion close by made the ground shake and Tom lost his footing again. Tom closed his eyes as he once again fell to the ground and he could feel the tears start to gather in his eyes but he pushed it down. He needed to get up; he needed to get to safety.  
  
Tom groaned and looked up and saw that two buildings close by had been hit and several other people were also lying on the ground, apparently they had also fallen to the ground when the bomb had hit. His ears were still ringing from the loud blast and Tom could see bodies lying there or more like body parts and he quickly looked away at the awful sight.  
  
Hid body started trembling and he realised he was panicking. He was scared, he felt like he was going to die. Killed by those awful bombs, blasted apart. Nothing would remain of him. Tom closed his eyes tightly and crawled away. He didn’t know where to. He didn’t dare open his eyes and view the horrible sights that he had seen.  
  
Even with his eyes tightly closed he could still see the mangled and destroyed bodies, the red blood coating the street. But he needed to see to know where he was going, so he opened his eyes and gathered all his remaining courage. He needed to survive. He didn’t want to die and with anew determination he got up and started running again.  
  
Tom could hear another blast close by, but he ignored it as he ran forward. But his eyes widened as he fell forward again. He braced himself as he collapsed to the ground.  
  
Tom felt something move over his body and with wide eyes he looked towards the brick wall that he believed had surged over him just a mere second ago. Then his eyes shot up as he saw something from the corner of his eyes.  
  
The view in front of him was surreal and all his surroundings seemed to fade away. Here in the midst of all that destruction, despair and death. There was an angel standing there looking down at him with beautiful white feathered wings. Those striking emerald eyes watched him and widened briefly in clear shock.  
  
Tom felt calm and safe, it felt strange. He shouldn’t feel like this at all, but just as soon as he saw the angel it seemed to fade again.  
  
And just as quickly fear settled in again and Tom started breathing heavily, panic rising and taking over him. The terrified screams around him sounded louder and Tom hardly even reacted when two arms pulled him up.  
  
His eyes just scanned everything around him, wanting to once again see the angel. But that was foolish wasn’t it… there was no such things as angels. Tom could only see the dead bodies and the red blood on the streets that seemed to be slowly drying.  
  
Humans were fragile… Tom thought as he saw the damage done and it was soon after that they reached the shelter and the person who had carried him put him to the ground. Tom just backed away, still hearing the sounds from outside.  
  
He sat down in his corner as he silently buried his head against his knees. Everything that he had seen and felt finally came out as he cried softly. Yet even at that point he could not forget about what he had seen just mere minutes ago. The image of the green-eyed angel was stuck inside his mind and Tom knew that he might never forget this particular moment.  
  
**Hogwarts, 29 May 1993**  
*Harry couldn’t explain, even to himself, why he didn’t just throw Riddles diary away. The fact was that even though he knew the diary was blank, he kept absentmindedly picking it up and turning the pages, as though it were a story he wanted to finish.  
  
And while Harry was sure he had never heard the name T.M. Riddle before, it still seemed to mean something to him, almost as though Riddle was a friend he’d had when he was very small, and had half-forgotten. But this was absurd. He’d never had any friends before Hogwarts, Dudley made sure of that. *(*This part is taken straight from the book ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, so that is maybe why it can be familiar and therefore it is not mine*)  
  
So when the diary had been stolen from him Harry had inwardly cursed. He couldn’t help it because he had grown fond of it through the time he had it hidden in either his bag or underneath his cushion.  
  
He simply couldn’t believe that Riddles diary was gone now. Also he couldn’t believe the fact that it was just his second year at Hogwarts and once again everything seems to go completely wrong. It all started with that house-elf Dobby warning him and now Harry understood why.  
  
The Chamber of Secrets had been opened again and Harry and his friends had once again tried to find out the truth about it. Harry wondered why such dangerous things always seemed to happen to him.  
  
Dobby had let it slip that the Chamber had been opened before and Malfoy had admitted that last time a mudblood had died.  
  
So of course they were all worried. Everyone in the whole school was on edge, almost as if waiting for the next attack. In the beginning they had suspected Draco Malfoy, but when he and Ron had questioned him under polyjuice potion they had come back emptyhanded.  
  
After finding the diary Riddle had showed Harry a memory of 50 years ago when he had captured Hagrid for opening the Chamber, but afterwards Hagrid had said that they should follow the spiders.  
  
If Harry had known what he would have found there in the forbidden forest he would not have set a foot in there, yet it was revealed that Aragog, Hagrid’s pet, had not been the creature from the Chamber of Secrets and with Hermione also being petrified Harry just realised the danger they were all in.  
  
Yet he never once expected this. Behind him were Ron and Professor Lockhart as he himself continued to the Chamber of Secrets. The entrance had been near them all along, they just hadn’t known. The lavatories where moaning Myrtle haunted the area was the exact place where she had died 50 years ago.  
  
The entrance of the famous Chamber of Secrets was hidden in a girl’s restroom, it was no wonder it had been hard to find.  
  
Yet with what happened Harry couldn’t just accept this. Ginny, Ron’s little sister had been taking down here and if they didn’t act she would die in here and the awful message would become real. ‘ _Her skeleton will lie in the chamber forever’_.  
  
Even though Harry hardly spoke with her he could still remember the awful Valentine’s Day and he knew that she had a crush on him.  
  
Yet the only reason why Harry pushed forward was because of the fact that it was his best friend’s sister. Harry liked Ginny, but he simply didn’t like her the same way, at least he believed so.  
  
Harry relaxed as he saw another door, with snakes on it and he hissed to it to open. Parseltongue, the curse he had was now a gift that could save Ginny’s life. For the whole year everyone had suspected him to be the Heir of Slytherin because of his ability to speak the language of the snakes, so he saw it as a curse nowadays.  
  
Harry raised his wand a little higher as he entered the big room. Snakes were placed next to the path and in the water and Harry looked straight ahead, seeing a body lying there with unmistakable red hair. The seemingly lifeless body lied in front of a big structure of a male that Harry believed must be Salazar Slytherin himself.  
  
Harry ran forward, carefully making sure he didn’t trip on the wet ground. As he reached Ginny his eyes went to the black familiar diary lying on her chest. “Ginny!” He screamed as he touched her hand and it already felt cold. “Please don’t be dead.” Harry screamed as he gently grabbed her wrists and he relaxed slightly as he felt a heartbeat, even though it was slow.  
  
“Ginny! Please wake up!” Harry said as he shifted her and her hands fell off the diary. Harry grabbed it with his free hand and he felt something strange tingle through his body.  
  
His eyes widened as he had the sudden feeling that he was being watched. He looked up and saw a blurry image of a male he immediately recognized. Tom Riddle stood there staring down at him and Harry couldn’t help but stare at the other male as well.  
  
The feelings that rushed through him felt familiar and Harry realised that it was the same way he felt when he faced Voldemort last year. “Tom. Tom Riddle?” Harry questioned softly, trying to ignore the strange feeling he felt.  
  
Tom meanwhile stared down at the person holding the little girl. Even though his face didn’t betray anything, on the inside his feelings were completely in turmoil. For Tom would never forget those eyes.  
  
Those striking green eyes, the same that were staring back at him right now, only obscured by those awful glasses. This person was not an angel… Yet Tom could see the resemblances. The same black hair and the same eyes. Harry Potter only missed the wings and the right age, for the angel he had seen had looked older than a mere 12-year old.  
  
Tom moved closer and the boy quickly let go of Ginny and faced him completely. Tom could see the small amount of fear inside the boy’s eyes and he stopped in front of him. It was then that Harry seemed to gather himself. “Tom, please you have to help us. We need to get out of here. There is a basilisk.”  
  
“The basilisk will only come when it is called.” Tom said curtly and Harry closed his mouth. Tom’s eyes looked down at the boy’s chest where he held the diary almost protectively against himself.  
  
Harry felt his heart beating faster and faster. They needed to get out and Harry wasn’t about to leave Tom behind either. This feeling that he needed to protect the other was strong and Harry didn’t want to fight it. Though he didn’t understand why he had the same feelings he had when he met Voldemort. This was Tom Riddle, not Voldemort after all.  
  
"Tom please,” Harry said and Harry tensed briefly when Tom raised his hand and pulled his glasses from his nose. “Heey, I need those!” Harry exclaimed yet he made no move to grab them from Tom’s fingers.  
  
Tom was nothing more than a blurry image for Harry at this point. “Harry Potter….” Tom whispered and Harry frowned. “I wanted to meet you since you wrote in my diary, but I never once expected this.”  
  
Harry only grew more confused by Tom’s words. “What?” He asked.  
  
Tom chuckled. “Tell me, how did you survive?” Harry saw Tom move and he felt a finger move almost gently over his forehead and slowly tracing his scar. Harry opened his mouth, understanding what the other was asking. “How did you survive while the greatest wizard of all time was destroyed?”  
  
Harry could hardly think. He felt a tingling deep down inside of him and it felt good. He felt strangely calm and content, while he knew they needed to get out. Ginny needed to get out. Harry closed his eyes with a small sigh, surrendering to the calm he felt.  
  
Tom watched as Harry closed his eyes and the others reply was so soft that Tom barely caught. “Dumbledore said my mother sacrificed herself for me.” Tom tilted his head to the side and moved his fingers down, grasping Harry’s chin gently but firmly. Tom knew that it must have been ancient magic, a willing sacrifice.  
  
Harry didn’t react at all when his chin was grabbed, seemingly lost in some kind of feelings that Tom could feel echo through him as well. He noticed that Harry’s hold on the diary was still strong and it seemed like the younger wizard wasn’t about to let go of the diary.  
  
Tom’s lips curved upwards in a small grin and his eyes looked up once more to look at Harry’s face and those closed eyes. “Open your eyes, Harry.”  
  
Harry immediately opened them and Tom stared into those emerald eyes. With just a brief look through the other’s mind Tom felt Harry’s intense need to protect him and even the boy had no idea where it came from it seemed. Tom even saw how he felt the same thing when he faced Voldemort.  
  
Tom frowned briefly at the way his other self had addressed Harry. The name Hadrian didn’t sound familiar at all. Was it someone he had met later on in his life? There was something strange about Harry Potter and it intrigued him immensely. Also it disgusted Tom quite a bit to see how he had ended up…  
  
“You wish to save both the little girl and me correct?” Tom asked him and Harry’s eyes cleared as he seemed to wake up from the haze he had been in.  
  
“Yes,” He said immediately. “We need to get out as quickly as possible.”  
  
Tom decided to test something and carefully placed the glasses back on Harry’s nose, seeing Harry blink a few times as he looked at him. He then took a step backwards, but still not too far as he looked at the younger wizard. “What would you do if I said I was the one who forced Ginny to open the chamber? What would you do then?”  
  
Harry felt shocked at Tom’s words and then looked at him once more, yet at the same time he pulled the diary closer to his chest and Harry saw a kind of hungry gleam in those dark eyes as Tom noticed it.  
  
“You’re the one who opened the chamber..?” Harry asked softly.  
  
“Yes, I made Ginny write the message on the wall as she poured her soul out into the pages of my diary,” Tom said as he looked down at the girl next to them. “Even now I am slowly draining her life force,”  Tom made eye contact with Harry again. “As she grows weaker I grow stronger. Until she will die and then I will be fully resurrected.”  
  
Harry shook his head at Tom’s words. He didn’t want to believe that the person he had seen in that memory of 50 years ago was killing someone. He didn’t want to face this, it was wrong and something deep inside Harry was breaking apart at the simply way that Tom had just stated that he was killing Ginny.  
  
 He opened his mouth as he looked at the other male who seemed to be waiting for his reaction. He couldn’t let Ginny die, no matter if some part of Harry wanted Tom to be real. He couldn’t accept this either.  
  
“No, I can’t let you kill her…” Harry said softly. “But… we can find a way to do both, can’t we? I mean what are you…? How are you able to?”  
  
Harry’s mind was a mess as he tried to understand this all and his conflicted feelings didn’t help one bit. He wanted to help Tom somehow as well, but he couldn’t let Ron’s sister die either.  
  
Tom smiled softy. “Both… Of course Harry,” Tom stepped forward, closing the small distance between them. “I can simply live in the diary again, but where is the fun in that? You see,” Tom placed one hand atop Harry’s which tightened its hold on the small black diary. “I am a mere memory preserved in this diary.”  
  
“A memory?” Harry looked deep into those dark eyes and he heard Tom chuckle softly. “Then… I will keep the diary and you safe, but please let Ginny go. I mean you could take me instead.” Harry only then realised what he was offering and his eyes widened.  
  
Tom shook his head. “No, you are much too intriguing to die, Harry,” Harry saw that Tom seemed to be thinking. “How about a deal? It will be a win-win situation for the both of us.”  
  
Harry gave a small nod indicating that he was listening and Tom smiled. “I let the foolish little girl live and you make sure to protect my diary like you just stated. You will write in it daily and that way I will keep my strength. I will not drain your life force from you either.”  
  
Harry thought that didn’t sound so bad and Tom was right it was a win situation for the both of them and it seemed like Tom already knew he was going to accept as he chuckled lowly. “Yes.” Harry replied.  
  
“Good.” Tom looked down to the girl and then back to Harry. “Get her out of here and make sure to tell them a story they can believe.” Tom smirked at him and Harry almost thought it looked kind of evil.  
  
And as Harry wanted to reply he didn’t even get a chance as he felt a crushing pain go through his head and Tom took a step backwards, his face now blank and giving nothing away as he faded away into thin air.  
  
Harry’s eyes widened as he stretched out his hand, his other hand still holding the diary tightly against his chest. “Tom!” Harry screamed as he collapsed to the ground, but he was unconscious before he even hit the ground.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When Harry woke up he groaned and grabbed his head as he felt it throbbing still. He couldn’t recall what had happened and he blinked a few times. He saw his glasses being pushed into his face and he silently accepted them as he faced Dumbledore who sat next to his bed and Harry cursed inward when he recognized the infirmary…  
  
Talk about a slight déjà vu from last year…  
  
“Harry, my boy. Are you alright?” The headmaster asked softly and Harry shook his head. He saw Dumbledore holding out a potion and he accepted it with a muttered thanks as he drained it in one go. He grimaced at the awful tasted but at least his head stopped throbbing a bit. “Harry?”  
  
Harry looked back at the elder wizard and noticed that those blue eyes weren’t twinkling and he seemed worried. “Sir…?” Harry questioned softly.  
  
“Could you tell me what happened inside the Chamber, Harry?” Dumbledore asked and Harry shook his head.  
  
“I can’t remember, sir…” Harry replied as he frowned and looked away to the sheets covering his legs.  
  
Dumbledore let out a small sigh. “You were found next to Ginny who had woken up and seen you lying unconscious next to her. Ginny told me about a diary from Tom Riddle that she had written in during the year and she was certain that he had possessed her and made her open the chamber.”  
  
Harry looked into those blue eyes and frowned. “I remember the diary from when I had it in my possession, but I don’t know what has happened down there.” Harry said. He wasn’t lying he could not remember a single thing. “I know I left Ron and Lockhart behind, but other than that my mind comes up empty.”  
  
Dumbledore furrowed his brows as he watched over his spectacles and Harry once again felt like he was being x-rayed. “Harry… There is something I must tell you then,” Harry nodded as he saw that the headmaster seemed serious. “Tom Riddle is Voldemort.”  
  
Harry’s eyes widened as he stared at the elder wizard in disbelief and shock. “Voldemort?” Dumbledore gave a nod. “I…” No matter how hard Harry tried he could not remember a thing about what had happened. And now knowing that he had faced Voldemort a second time and not even remembered it.  
  
It made him feel worried about what had happened and why he couldn’t remember it all. And eventually Dumbledore seemed to realise that Harry couldn’t remember anything as he said he would leave and let him rest. But he made Harry promise that if he did know something he should tell him immediately.  
  
Harry’s mind instead was still reeling with the information about Tom Riddle being Voldemort. It was hard to imagine the person he met previous year had once been a handsome male like Tom Riddle.  
  
And as Harry was released from the infirmary a few days later he walked back to the Gryffindor tower with Ron at his side and Harry was happy that Ron seemed to be in good spirits since he had saved Ginny.  
  
Even the red-haired girl had thanked him and she said that she truly believed she would have died down there if it wasn’t for him. Harry had just shrugged it off.  
  
The days passed and Dumbledore had warned everyone to watch out for a black diary from Tom Riddle. Yet said diary was never found.  
  
And Harry suddenly had the urge to go back down to the Chamber, as if something was calling on him. He knew it was dangerous however and he should either ignore it or tell the headmaster about it.  
  
Instead he was being a fool and slipped underneath his invisibility cloak one evening and made his way down to the Chamber. Surprisingly he didn’t meet any professors or prefects and he reasoned that maybe now the culprit was kind of caught that the high defences were unnecessary.  
  
He walked the familiar road, but when he stopped in front of the second door far down near the Chamber he froze as he saw Tom Riddle standing there. The lost diary in his hand and with a smile he stretched it out to Harry.  
  
Harry looked at the diary and then back towards Tom’s face as he saw the other watching him silently. Harry then carefully accepted the black diary.  
  
All of a sudden all his memories rushed in when he touched the diary and his eyes widened as he looked up at Tom.  
  
“Dumbledore is capable of using Legilimency and therefore I made sure that you had no memories of what occurred down here. I locked the memories up inside the diary till the time was right.” Tom explained with a small smile.  
  
Harry narrowed his eyes at the other wizard. “You’re Voldemort.” Harry stated and Tom just gave a nod.  
  
“Yes. I guess the old fool told you.” Tom said.  
  
Harry only then realised that he was once again standing in front of his parents’ murderer and instead of feeling any kind of hatred and anger he only felt the intense need to protect, hold and comfort Tom.  
  
So silently he pulled the diary from Tom’s grip and held it tightly against his chest and Tom smirked, looking quite pleased with it somehow. Harry honestly had no idea what was happening, but somehow this felt right.


	12. The Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom is forced to see how Harry’s relatives treat him even worse than house-elf. It creates some friction between the two of them and Tom tries to ignore it all as he feels the need to find out more about Angels and why he feels the way he does with Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter :).  
> Finished a bit sooner than I expected since I wrote part of this during the previous night XD(didn’t feel sleepy so I just kept writing for a bit). 
> 
> Anyway hope you all enjoy ^-^! All mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^! I was highly surprised with everyone’s comments the last chapter. So thanks a lot!! 
> 
> And cya next update ^-^!

### Chapter 11: The Library

“Gabriel!” Michael screamed as he entered the hall only to find Raphael and Uriel there instead of Gabriel and he stopped as the two other angels looked up at him.  
  
“Michael,” Raphael said as he slowly shook his head and clearly looked disappointed. This only made Michael more furious at this point, but before he could speak Raphael spoke again. “You have become blinded. You are too close to Harry and Tom now as well. You don’t see the big picture anymore.”  
  
“This is not right!” Michael said angrily as he stopped in front of Raphael. “Gabriel has foreseen this all hasn’t she!? Tom will make Harry another one of his followers this way! He will use Harry. Tom Riddle doesn’t understand love or anything like that.”  
  
Raphael and Uriel both glanced at each other and then Uriel sighed and wanted to speak, but was interrupted by Gabriel who walked into the room.  
  
“They are right, Michael. You are too close to them at this point.” Gabriel said as she walked up towards them.  
  
Michael turned around and glared at the female angel. “I had to watch Harry suffer, Gabriel. I had to watch it and I could do nothing. I cannot stand by and watch Tom destroy him.” Michael snarled at her.  
  
Gabriel blinked at him and then a small smile formed on her lips. “Who says anything about Tom destroying Harry?” Michael was taken aback and looked at her questioningly. “For all you know, it could be the other way around, Michael. Harry could also be capable of destroying Tom. That is should he wish to do so.”  
  
Michael blinked at her, feeling confused. Her words often had double meanings, but this time it was clear. “The prophecy…” Michael muttered softly as he remembered it. He sighed as he shook his head. “I don’t understand. Harry should not remember anything and he clearly doesn’t, but he still has this strong feeling of needing to protect Tom. Why?”  
  
Gabriel’s eyes turned sad. “Do you remember Hadrian’s last lingering thoughts?” Michael gave a small nod. How could he ever forget? Even knowing that he was going to be reborn, Hadrian’s thoughts had been completely focused on Tom. All the angels had felt that. “Somehow part of his soul must have remembered it because Hadrian’s feelings were so strong.”  
  
It soon dawned on him what Gabriel was saying and he felt stupid for not seeing it before. Hadrian’s love for Tom had never fully died; it had survived even through the reincarnation of his soul. The love for Tom was etched in his very soul then and it should be impossible.  
  
But it was clearly there. Harry would do anything to protect Tom and that was exactly why Michael was so worried. Gabriel placed her hand on his shoulder. “Do not worry Michael; it is unbecoming of an archangel to worry about humans after all.”   
  
“Harry was a guardian angel at one point, Gabriel. Do not say that this does not bother you,”  
 Michael said with a sad shake of his head, but the female simply smiled at him. “What is it that you see?” Michael asked once more, wondering if maybe she would reply this time.  
  
“More than you did. You think Harry is the only one affected, but he is not. The diary horcrux is just as affected by meeting Harry. The diary holds half of Tom’s broken down soul.” Gabriel whispered softly.  
  
Yet even then Michael didn’t fully understand her words. He had seen that the diary horcrux had been affected when he was faced with Harry. Before he could ask her to elaborate however a voice behind him spoke up.  
  
“There may be hope for Tom’s soul still.” Uriel whispered and Michael looked with wide eyes over his shoulder at the other angel.  
  
Uriel’s eyes seemed distant, but somehow Michael knew deep down that Uriel’s words were true. “Indeed,” Gabriel added softly. “There may be hope for him still.”  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Tom had never been very familiar with feelings. He knew anger and hatred mostly, because he had been filled with those emotions since he was young. He had grown up with these emotions, but any other emotions simply eluded him.  
  
Therefor Harry’s feelings were indecipherable for him. He could not understand Harry’s desire to protect him and it seemed like the young wizard himself also had no idea why. Harry acted purely on his instincts it seemed.  
  
Yet it filled Tom with an emotion that he was very unfamiliar with through the past months. Whenever Harry would hold the diary close and Tom could feel Harry’s strong wish to protect him Tom would somehow feel secure and safe, and strangely almost happy and content.  
  
It was the same feeling he remembered feeling on that awful day several years ago. Harry radiated the same calmness that the green-eyed angel had. And Tom knew this could be considered a weakness, to have someone who could make him feel like this. He knew it was a weakness…  
  
But at the same time the feelings were so strong that Tom wanted to never let go of Harry. He didn’t want to let go of this weakness and it did frustrate him a bit. Right now he was just going to see how it all played out, but he knew they had to find out Voldemort’s whereabouts somehow.  
  
Of course he also knew the risks he was taking with this. After all Harry was Dumbledore’s golden boy. Yet Tom quickly found out that even Harry had a darker side and he couldn’t blame the child as Tom was forced to see and endure Harry’s relatives with him. The boy was treated like a slave by his own relatives. Tom was surprised that Harry was actually so nice… Now knowing what the child had been through.  
  
“Why don’t you make them suffer for what they do to you?” Tom asked him as Harry let himself fall down on the bed that creaked loudly. The younger wizard looked up towards him with a small frown.  
  
“Why would I? I would be no better than them if I did hurt them.” Harry replied and Tom frowned at the naïve reply he got.  
  
“They are clearly mistreating you,” Tom snapped at him and Harry opened his mouth to speak and Tom glared. “Don’t you dare deny that this isn’t child neglect or abuse, Harry!”   
  
Tom had seen what Harry had wanted to say and the child backed down with a small glare in his direction. “Would you hurt them, Tom?” Harry asked instead.  
  
“Yes, I would. They are muggles and we are wizards, Harry. They are beneath us and they should understand this. We are far more superior than they are and you should not be seen as this weak.” Tom replied calmly, hoping that he could make Harry understand his vision.  
  
Harry shook his head slowly as he watched Tom standing near his barred window. “Wizard or not, in the end we are all humans Tom. I don’t believe that it is right for us to use our powers like that.” Harry said slowly, thinking about his words carefully before he said them out loud. Since Tom had said to him that he shouldn’t speak before thinking his words through.  
  
Tom crossed his arms over his chest as he narrowed his eyes at Harry. “In my eyes there is only power and those too weak to seek it. Are you willing to be a weak wizard and remain so weak your entire life, Harry?”  
  
Harry actually thought well about that question, but he quickly felt that power wasn’t worth that much. “I am not that power-hungry I think.” Harry said with a small shrug and Tom sighed as he carded a hand through his hair.  
  
“Another thing we should change about you.” Tom muttered with a small shake of his head. Harry bit his bottom lip as he watched Tom.  
  
“Why should I need to change?” He finally asked after thinking about whether he wanted to ask Tom that question yes or no.  
  
Tom looked up and moved forward, sitting down next to Harry. Tom noticed those green eyes following his every movement and he smiled a bit at that. “Because I don’t want you to be weak, Harry.”  
  
Harry frowned. “I can be not power-hungry and not weak,” Harry stated. Tom’s smile faded and Harry quickly continued. “You said so yourself I am a pretty strong wizard. Honestly Tom, I am not that fond of power. I believe power is…” Harry thought about how he could say it best to make Tom understand. “Elusive… It is just merely a person’s view. Someone could think a person is strong, but maybe they are not all that strong. They can hide their strength behind masks or even make themselves look weak.”  
  
Tom remained silent as he watched Harry carefully. Those words sounded wise, too wise for someone of Harry’s age and Tom found that it was a bit unsettling. Tom shifted so he faced Harry more and he reached forward to grab Harry’s hand, just to feel his touch, but his hand froze just a mere inch above Harry’s.  
  
Because if they touched Tom felt that calmness increase and at times he longed for it. He realised that it kept part of him caged. A part inside of him that craved something… He didn’t know what and knew that it must have something to do with splitting his soul.  
  
The past months had taught Tom that Harry was different than any other wizard he had ever met in his life. It was slightly infuriating the power that the boy had over him. Yet with a small sigh he surrendered and placed his hand atop Harry’s on the bed and he saw Harry smile softly as he turned his hand around and intertwined their fingers.  
  
Strangely enough Tom knew Harry felt the same. There was something more between them that Tom couldn’t quite grasp. “You are truly a mystery.” Tom murmured softly as Harry lay down and stared up at him with those beautiful green eyes.  
  
Harry tightened his fingers a bit as she smiled almost serenely at him. “I think you are the biggest mystery in this room, Tom.”  
  
Tom’s lips turned upwards as he slowly shook his head. “Go to sleep, Harry.” With those words Tom faded again and Harry sighed as he felt the coldness settle in. He quickly undressed and put his nightwear on and then turned in after placing his glasses on the bedside table.    
  
He never saw Tom appear again as those dark eyes watched him while he fell asleep.  
  
Tom meanwhile was lost in his thoughts as he watched the younger wizard. How strange how alike they were yet how different. Where he had been cruel and ruthless to the other orphans who had hurt him, Harry was nice and forgiving to those who hurt him. Harry had even accepted him, knowing that he was the one who had killed his parents. Harry wasn’t just nice, he was almost completely pure it seemed.  
  
Yet Tom had still felt the anger that Harry hid deep down inside him. It was buried so deep, but Tom had felt it the more Harry wrote in the diary and the more the bond between them strengthened. Still Harry did not act on his anger and hatred he felt.   
  
Tom saw that Harry moved and seemed to be trying to get closer to him, so carefully he sat down on the edge of the bed and placed his hand on Harry’s hand which was next to the boy’s head and cushion.  
  
The boy let out a deep sigh and relaxed even more and Tom relaxed as well as he closed his eyes and just basked in the calming feeling he felt. “You are truly a mystery…” Tom whispered once more.  
  
It was a few days later when Harry finally got more curious. “Heey Tom,” Tom hummed softly and Harry took it as a sign to continue as faced Tom who seemed to be lost in thoughts and staring out the barred window at the dark sky. “Did you hurt people and why did you kill my parents and try to kill me?”  
  
Tom’s head shot up towards him and Harry almost regretted asking those questions as he saw Tom’s eyes darkening slightly. “Yes. I hurt those who deserved it, Harry,” Tom replied slowly as he watched the boy on sitting on the bed, in the dark of the room he could barely make out the figure on the bed though. “For your other questions, I don’t know.”  
  
Harry blinked confused at Tom’s reply. “You don’t know?” Harry asked him and Harry could see through the moonlight shining through the window that Tom was thinking again. “What do you mean that you don’t know, Tom?” Harry asked him when the other wizard remained silent.  
  
Tom let out a frustrated sigh. “I just don’t know. I was not the one who killed your parents and raised my wand at you,” Tom looked away, his eyes fixed on the dark sky and a few twinkling stars. “I guess you could say that was my future counterpart… the one you met your first year is the one who killed your parents’.”  
  
Tom didn’t know why he was being honest with Harry. It was better if he didn’t know about the horcruxes that Voldemort had created. Tom knew there were more like him out there, hidden in objects and the soul piece locked inside it. It was better if no one knew about his immortality. Yet here he was kind of telling Harry that there were at least two Voldemorts out there.  
  
He decided to ask the question that had been on his mind for a while now, just to avoid this subject for now. For he knew Harry wouldn’t let it rest completely. “Is there a library somewhere near here where we could go?”  
  
Harry was taken aback by Tom’s sudden change of subject, but went with it, for he could clearly feel that the other conversation was finished. “Yes, there is.” Harry replied.  
  
“We will go there tomorrow. I will borrow some of your magic to sustain a more corporeal form, but nothing you should worry about.” Tom said as he finally looked back towards the younger wizard.  
  
Harry just nodded and seemingly accepted it. Tom realised that Harry trusted him a lot, considering he could just as easily end up draining his life force from him. He didn’t know why, but somehow that thought bothered him a lot.  
  
So the next day Harry and Tom made their way towards the library and Harry felt a bit anxious, since he had a lot of chores he needed to finish for this day and with a trip to library taking his time away, he was certain he would not be able to do them all at all.  
  
Tom had clearly noticed his reluctance to leave the house when he woke up in the morning, even earlier than normal. He prepared breakfast and then left with Tom, not even leaving a note or anything.  
  
Tom had stated it would be alright and when Harry was out of Privet Drive Tom appeared and Harry was shocked to see the other wizard not in his Slytherin robes but in just normal muggle clothes. Black pants and a green shirt and Harry had to admit it looked quite nice.  
  
Tom glanced sideways at him and smirked, most likely knowing what Harry thought just a moment ago. Yet Harry just smiled in return, not at all embarrassed to have been caught admiring the other wizard and it seemed like this pleased Tom as well.  
  
Harry led the way towards the library and when they walked in Harry finally looked up at Tom and asked. “Why did you want to go here?”  
  
His words were a mere whisper, he was maybe a bit to used too madam Pince presence in a library. Tom made a soft shushing sound as well as he walked over to a section that made Harry even more confused. Paranormal and superstition, Harry didn’t think Tom was the kind to believe in any like this.  
  
Still he silently followed Tom as the other looked at the books covers and traced his fingers over some. Eventually he pulled some out and handed them to Harry who accepted them and frowned at the covers in slight confusion.  
  
After they had found a few books Tom made his way over to the table and sat down as Harry placed the books on the table and sat down next to the other. “Angels?” Harry questioned and Tom gave a soft hum as he once again glanced at the books and eventually opened one and read through the index page.  
  
“I don’t take you for a person who believes in this…” Harry muttered as he moved closer and read with Tom, as the other moved his finger over the index page. Though he didn’t know Tom that well yet, he simply had the feeling the other wouldn’t believe in anything regarding angels.  
  
Tom’s finger stopped when it reached a chapter named ‘ _Guardian Angels’_. Harry blinked and looked up at Tom to see that the other wizard was staring quite intently at those two words. “Tom?” Harry whispered.  
  
Tom looked up and immediately made eye contact with those emerald eyes, only to once again frown at those stupid glasses. “We will get an eye correcting potion for you when we go to Diagon alley for your school supplies.” Tom said.  
  
“Huh?” Harry muttered with a frown at Tom’s sudden sentence. Sometimes he had difficulty following Tom’s trail of thoughts and this was one particular moment when he simply didn’t understand the other wizard. “Alright.” Harry replied with a small shrug and Tom just looked back at the book and quickly turned to the page about Guardian Angels.  
  
Harry leaned back a bit while Tom read and he just glanced around the library. He could remember coming here when he was younger. Until the point that the Dursleys become furious about him getting better grades than Dudley. Harry had not set foot inside the library since that day and he had to admit that it felt quite nice to be around those books again.  
  
Despite everything he quite enjoyed reading, though he would never be like Hermione. Maybe… Maybe if he hadn’t stopped going to the library he would have ended up exactly like her. Harry sighed softly and quickly turned his attention back on Tom who was still completely engrossed in the book.  
  
Harry kept staring at Tom; it kept his mind from going into darker places.  
  
Tom felt Harry’s gaze on him quite suddenly, but the text in front of him was simply too intriguing.  
  
Every human apparently had a guardian angel watching over them and it stated that this angel was always there, even if they couldn’t be seen, felt or heard. They would never leave the person they needed to watch over. Only when a person died did the Guardian Angel leave them. Both their souls would be reborn… Something that Tom didn’t believe, reincarnation was something that simply couldn’t be real. Death seemed something final. There was nothing after that.  
  
And Tom read that for those who had seen their own guardian angels it felt like a whole new world had been opened for them and he hated that the persons described their guardian angels just like he had seen his years ago. Tom simply couldn’t understand why Harry would have the same calming presence as his so called Guardian Angel.  
  
“Tom,” Harry interrupted him mid-thought and Tom bit back a sigh as he looked up from the book. “Can we go back?” Harry asked him nervously when they made eye contact.  
  
Tom knew that Harry was worried about those stupid chores he needed to finish and Tom shook his head and tried to keep his face blank, he didn’t want to let his disgust show. “You are not a house-elf, Harry.”  
  
Harry wanted to argue and it was at that point that something inside Tom snapped. He grabbed Harry’s arm and inched closer so he was face to face with the younger wizard. “Why are you even now defending them? They clearly hate you and they treat you even worse than a house-elf.”  
  
Harry flinched for one second as he saw, and somehow felt, Tom’s anger. “They aren’t that bad,” Harry said immediately in a hushed voice. “They might hate me, but they at least treat their son and other people alright, Tom. You can’t judge them. Everyone has a good and bad side inside them.”  
  
Tom shook his head and hissed slowly. “There is no good or evil, Harry. They are just views of a person. What you consider good can be considered evil by someone else. You are naïve and young, you have not seen the horrors of the world out there yet.”  
  
Harry gritted his teeth as he glared at Tom. He had no idea why but he felt frustrated and he briefly wondered if it were truly his feelings or simply Tom’s. “Maybe you are right, but if I make a decision I believe is good than that is my view of it. And don’t even think about saying to me that I have not seen the horrors of this world, Tom!” Harry’s voice rose with every word he spoke and Tom’s eyes narrowed.  
  
“I have seen what people are capable of even though I may be young. I have seen people believe words that were untrue and felt how those words could impact my life.” Harry pulled his arm free from Tom’s grip and surprisingly the older wizard let go as Harry stood up and glared at him, before turning around and walking out of the library.  
  
He just crossed the street when he felt dizzy all of a sudden and he stumbled a bit. A hand grabbed his arm rather roughly and he felt Tom pull him along. Harry blinked as he felt like he was in a kind of daze. Eventually they reached the park and Tom pushed him down onto a bench as the other sat down next to him, dropping the bag on the ground and Harry noticed that it was fuller than it was first.  
  
Tom let out a deep sigh as his hand went down and grabbed Harry’s. Harry also relaxed at the simple touch and he frowned. Why had they even fought? Because of their different opinions regarding good and evil…?  
  
“Did you steal those books?” Harry asked softly, wanting to take his mind off of it.  
  
“I did. I have no desire to go back there tomorrow and I couldn’t just let you run off by yourself.” Tom replied and Harry snorted.  
  
“I have lived here all my life…” Harry stated and they lapsed into a comfortable silence. Harry was kind of glad the park was empty right now. It was most likely still too early. Most children would be still asleep, enjoying their free time to rest. Only occasionally someone walked by with their dog and Harry noticed some people jogging.  
  
It was quite peaceful here and Harry shifted a bit so he was more comfortable. “Don’t get too comfortable, Harry. We need to go back soon.” Tom told him, though the other made no move to get up either.  
  
Harry sighed, knowing that Tom was right. They needed to go back, because that was the reason he had ran out of the library in the first place. His chores, he needed to start on them. He had no idea what time it was now, but the Dursleys must have already noticed his absence by now and Harry felt a bit of fear at that thought.  
  
Uncle Vernon would not be happy with that… “Let’s go back.” Harry said as he quickly got up and pulled his hand free from Tom’s, who reluctantly let go.  
  
Tom didn’t stand up however and Harry looked at the other wizard, who was staring at the park in front of them. “I should not have said what I did.” Tom whispered and Harry barely caught the words, which were a kind of apology to him. Then Tom looked at him and faded away. Harry’s eyes widened as he looked around, but luckily no one had looked in their direction and had not seen someone fade away into thin air.  
  
Harry let out a small sigh as he bends down and picks up the bag, which was definitely much heavier than first. He made his way back to the house, somehow his mind kept going back to the conversations he had with Tom.  
  
At first Harry had been shocked that Tom was Voldemort, but he didn’t doubt the other’s words for even one second. Because he felt it. He felt the same way for Voldemort as he felt for Tom now when he met the both of them.  
  
Harry had started to think how it was even possible for two of him to exist and Tom had clearly said that the Voldemort he met in his previous year was different.  
  
When Harry reached the house he carefully and as silently as possible slipped in. Apparently it was not silent enough as uncle Vernon’s booming voice screamed from the living room. “Boy! Is that you!?”  
  
Harry stiffened and he saw his uncle appearing in the doorway and Harry inwardly cringed at the furious expression that was on his face. Harry didn’t move as uncle Vernon approached him and he could hear aunt Petunia coming down the stairs as well.  
  
“You freak, where do you think you have been?” Uncle Vernon grabbed him by his shirt and Harry let out a small squeak. Harry knew that lying was useless since he had been caught entering the front door after all. “You ungrateful brat!” Vernon hissed and Harry was thrown through the hallway. “Go start your chores and don’t even think about getting any food this day.”  
  
Harry stumbled and the bag hit the wall with a loud thump, making Vernon’s eyes glare suspiciously at the full bag. Even aunt Petunia’s eyes widened in confusion at was inside it and Harry pulled it tighter against him as his uncle reached forward, attempting to get the bag out of his hands.  
  
“Give me that bag!” His uncle bellowed as Harry screamed no and ran into the living room, but what happened next shocked everyone. Harry had nowhere to run anymore as his uncle advanced on him and green eyes widened as Tom appeared in between Vernon and him. “Tom!” Harry warned him, shocked that the other would come out of the diary at this time.  
  
Uncle Vernon’s face twisted in an angry sneer and Harry had never seen his uncle look so furious before. But having someone appear from out of nowhere, Harry knew that his uncle and aunt believed that he had used magic inside their house. Harry saw that even aunt Petunia backed away with wide shocked eyes when the teenager appeared out of nowhere.  
  
It all happened too quickly as uncle Vernon’s fist collided not with Harry’s face, but Tom’s instead. Harry let out a shocked scream as Tom stumbled backwards, but then he felt the magic rush through him as uncle Vernon was blasted backwards and hit the wall, instantly falling unconscious. Harry sagged down next to the table with wide eyes as he felt himself grow weaker.  
  
Aunt Petunia screamed and Harry forced his eyes open, looking at the sight in front of him. His grip on the bag tightened as he saw aunt Petunia running towards her husband. His mind was feeling heavy, as his vision got blurry. He could see Tom standing there in front of him, most likely glaring at his relatives. His aunt was screaming and Harry saw that his uncle’s body was thrashing wildly.  
  
Something was wrong and Harry tried to reach out to Tom. But instead he slumped down, feeling dizzy and disoriented. Harry closed his eyes as his head was throbbing and in the distance he could hear screaming and he desperately reached out to Tom.  
  
He crawled forward and tried calling Tom’s name, but nothing came out. Yet he needed to make sure that Tom wouldn’t hurt them, he couldn’t bear to see or hear afterwards what Tom had done to them.  
  
But before he could even do anything, he fell unconscious.  
  
Harry blinked his eyes a few times as he felt more awareness returning to him and he saw Tom crouched down next to him. Those dark eyes holding an emotion that he couldn’t quite identify with the state he was in.  
  
“Tom?”  Harry asked and he hated how his voice sounded weak all of a sudden.  
  
Tom gently placed his hands against his cheek and it was then that Harry knew what kind of emotion Tom was attempting to hide. Guilt…  
  
“I used too much magic.” Tom whispered softly. Harry only gave a small nod. He already had a feeling it was something like that. Tom had almost drained his magic from him and Harry couldn’t have stopped it.  
  
“Are they…?” Harry asked him and Tom’s eyes grew darker.  
  
“They are fine. I erased their memories of what happened,” Tom said as he looked across the room to something that was out of his view. Harry shifted, wanting to get up to see it, but Tom put a hand to his shoulder. “Stay down, rest a bit. We will leave this place as soon as you feel better.”  
  
Harry opened his mouth to say that he couldn’t leave this place. They were his relatives, but Tom’s eyes narrowed and instead Harry kept quiet, remembering how uncle Vernon had raised his fist towards him and how Tom had protected him from being hit.  
  
With a sigh he let himself fall back on the ground, knowing that Tom was right on their treatment towards him and there was no way that Tom would want to stay here after this...  
  
Tom gave a small nod at seeing his acceptance of it all and stood up. Harry could hear some noises and he felt his magic being drained a bit again as he shifted to his side with a sigh. Harry heard Tom approach him again and he felt how two hands pulled him. “Come up, Harry. Get up.”  
  
Harry shook his head, he was feeling tired and drained, but still let Tom move him as the other supported him. He felt himself being placed in the couch. It felt better to sit here than to lie on the hard ground and Harry let out a content sigh as he forced his tired eyes open.  
  
Tom was standing in front of him, looking down at him with a small frown. “If you are ready to travel we will leave… I will return in the diary, so rest up a bit.” Tom said as he bends down a bit and moved Harry’s legs on the couch.  
  
Harry closed his eyes as he felt sleep claiming him soon after.


	13. Luna Lovegood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Harry leaves Privet Drive, he meets Luna Lovegood and her father. The strange girl invites Tom and Harry to stay with them, so they end up staying in the Lovegood house and learn more about Luna and her rare gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter :).
> 
> Hope you all enjoy and all mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^! 
> 
> And cya next update :).

### Chapter 12: Luna Lovegood

Never before had he felt anything remotely like this. This gnawing feeling inside of him that seemed to scream at him that he was doing something utterly wrong. It even felt wrong.  
  
How? Why? Tom couldn’t understand it. He should have killed those stupid muggles, the spell had been on the tip of his tongue, but even in the haze of his fury he felt something trying to reach him.  
  
And it was only when he focused more on it that he realised that Harry was weakening rapidly because of him using the Cruciatus Curse.  
  
It was with pure shock that Tom stopped everything, but by then Harry had already fallen unconscious and Tom was very mindful of not draining Harry’s magical core further. Why though? Why did he seem incapable of it? He had no trouble at all killing that little red-haired girl, but why was once again Harry different?  
  
Somehow the thought of draining either Harry’s life-force or magical core seemed awful. Tom just had no idea why, he had only known the boy for a few months now. Yet he had never felt closer to any other human in his entire life.  
  
Was it because Harry reminded him of that angel he had seen…?  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Father,” The blonde girl whispered as she eyed the other beings in the room. Her father looked up at her questioningly. “Can we go for a small walk?”  
  
The question itself was pure innocent, but her father furred his brows and then replied. “Of course, Luna.” He had raised his little girl all by himself since she was 9 years, but he quickly realised she was quite different than other humans.  
  
He often found himself going along with her, because he loves her dearly. But he could see that something was bothering her.  
  
“What is wrong, my sweetheart?” He asked her and her silvery eyes so much like her mother met his.  
  
“Someone needs guidance and help, father. Can we go to Surrey?” She asked him.  
  
He blinked at her a few times, wondering who was in Surrey that needed their help, but he smiled at her and nodded. “Lead the way.” He said as he extended his hand.  
  
She skipped over to him with a bright smile and grabbed his hand. “Thank you father.” She said as he focused on apparating them to the other country in Britain.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Harry groaned as he woke up and shifted a bit, somehow his whole body felt a stiff and he stretched, as he blinked his eyes open.  
  
He recognized the living room immediately and he got up quickly, but there was no one there with him and he frowned as he remembered what had happened. “Tom?” Harry called out to the memory in the diary and the other male appeared before him.  
  
Harry stood up as he looked up at the other wizard. The question hadn’t even left his lips as Tom already replied. “They are fine, Harry. Your _relatives,_ ” the way Tom said the word relatives showed how much he hated them. “Are asleep upstairs. I put a small sleeping spell on them, to make sure you could rest as well as you needed…”  
  
Harry gave a small nod, feeling grateful. Grateful that Tom hadn’t hurt them at all. “Thanks…” He muttered as he looked down at the floor. A floor he had cleaned so many times and he might never set foot inside this house ever again. It felt weird, but as he looked up he saw that Tom was staring at him as well.  
  
Harry knew that Tom was right that they shouldn’t have treated him the way they had, but he also couldn’t bear seeing them either murdered or tortured, so he was really glad that the other had clearly listened to him.  
  
“Where… where will we go to?” Harry asked, remembering that they should leave.  
  
“Go pack your stuff first, Harry. Then I think we will take the Knight Bus to the Leaky Cauldron and see from there.” Tom said, but then he frowned and shook his head. “We will see from there.” Tom repeated and Harry wanted to ask what Tom was thinking off.  
  
Tom sighed. “You are famous, so it will be difficult to just walk in. I fear that Dumbledore will hear about it some way and then he will act, putting you back here.”  
  
“He would not put me back here knowing what they did. Uncle Vernon attempted to hit me again Tom.” Harry said.  
  
Tom shook his head and those dark eyes narrowed in irritation and anger. “He will put you back here; he doesn’t care about his students’ wellbeing.”  
  
Harry crossed his arms over his chest and stayed silent for some time as he thought about his words, but eventually the more he thought about it. It was clear that no elder wizard or witch had listened to them in their first year.  
  
And the whole school and everyone in it had been in danger when the Chamber had been opened. And where had Dumbledore been at these points? Where was the headmaster when he needed them both in front of the mirror and in the Chamber?  
  
Snape had protected him when he met Voldemort in his first year. But Dumbledore was out of the castle both times.  
  
Tom’s lips turned slightly upwards and Harry wanted to wipe that smug look of the others face, but he knew Tom was right and he wondered if he did truly tell Dumbledore about his uncle and his aunt and his upbringing, would the headmaster truly send him back here?  
  
Somehow Harry didn’t want to find out and he sighed in defeat. “Fine, I will go pack my stuff and then we will see where we go…” The thought of living on the street scared him, but he knew he wasn’t alone if it should come to that. Many years of actually thinking about running away from this place and now he was finally going through with it.    
  
“Don’t worry. If it comes down to it, I will either apply a very strong glamour on you or we will somehow make polyjuice potion for you.” Tom said, most likely picking up on his thoughts and fears at that point.  
  
Feeling a bit relieved once more that he wouldn’t be alone Harry nodded and went to his bedroom. He packed everything he needed and placed it inside his trunk. Then he focused upon Hedwig who was softly hooting at him from within her cage. Letting the snowy owl out he told her to go somewhere safe for the time being. He knew she was very clever and would be able to take care of herself. So he wasn’t too worried about her, but he still watched her till she was out of his sight.  
  
After she was out of his sight Harry turned around and saw that Tom stood there looking at his trunk, before meeting his eyes. “Ready?” Tom asked him and Harry gave a small nod.  
  
He had no idea where they could or would go, but he had faith that everything would be alright and Tom faded away again as he noticed that Harry was alright.  
  
Yet in Harry’s mind he could still see Tom being hit by uncle Vernon and somehow it hurt him deep down inside him. He didn’t understand why though. He had never felt anything when aunt Petunia hit him with her frying pan or even his uncle would be so furious he was been hit by him.  
  
Maybe it was because it was not actually him, but someone he had grown to care for had been hit. Harry moved down the stairs, ignoring the other rooms completely. He didn’t want to see his relatives. He still thought about it all and he knew if either Hermione or Ron had been hit he would have felt the same way.  
  
Yet somewhere there was still a small doubt in his mind, which he just decided to ignore. He knew that somehow this… friendship, if that is what it could be called, with Tom was just different.  
  
Harry opened the front door and looked over his shoulder one last time. Emerald eyes turned sad as he saw the door to the cupboard under the stairs. The place which had been bedroom for many years and he had never known any better.  
  
Yet he knew now how wrong it was. A child should not be sleeping in a cupboard, Tom had told him that angrily after Harry had told him about how it had been his bedroom in the past.  
  
Yet there was no way to turn back time and he could not change the past, so with new determination he walked out of the door and into the street. He saw some of the neighbours looking at him in confusion, but he chose to ignore them as he walked down the street and turned a corner, pulling his trunk behind him. The neighbours often ignored him as well, since they believed he had a bad influence and Harry had never minded them much.  
  
He walked towards the park where he and Tom had been and he blinked as he saw a strange blond man and young blond girl walking there. The young girl looked over to him and a dreamy smile appeared on her face that made Harry stop. She skipped over to him and held out her hand to him.  
  
“Hello, my name is Luna.” The blonde girl smiled brightly and somehow Harry felt at ease near her and he accepted her hand slowly.  
  
“Harry.” He replied. Her silvery eyes looked down at the baggage that he was trailing behind him and she blinked up at him as her lips turned upwards in another smile. Harry thought she was certainly strange, but when the blond male also walked up to them Harry reasoned that this was her father.  
  
The male had blonde hair like the girl and those clothes seemed out of place in the muggle world. It was not really wizarding robes, but almost close enough and the yellow and orange combinations almost made Harry feel nauseous.     
  
“Uh…” Harry started, but the girl simply looked over her shoulder.  
  
“Father, we can go home. Can Harry come with us?” She asked and Harry’s eyes widened. Even though Tom was inside the diary Harry could imagine Tom not liking the idea of going with complete strangers. Though Harry had a feeling that they could be trusted he knew that Tom didn’t trust that easily and wouldn’t be happy with this.  
  
The blond male looked at him and then his eyes went to Harry’s forehead and that was all the indication that Harry needed that he should better not go with them. “Oh my…” The male muttered with a frown. Harry knew he should just thank them and leave. For it was clear that he was recognized and that meant that the male was a wizard. He would tell Dumbledore or someone else…  
  
“I should go.” Harry blurted out before they could either take him away to Merlin knows where or back to the Dursleys.  
  
The girl quickly turned and grabbed his arm, making Harry flinch for one second. Harry felt his magic weakening and knew that Tom had done something and Luna blinked at him, her eyes a bit unfocused, before they cleared again. “Don’t go. I mean no harm. I only wish to help the two of you. I was guided to come here for you.”  
  
This only made Harry tense even more and he could see that male also was struggling, but eventually the blond male took a step forward and stood next to his daughter. “I vow that I will not harm you. The name is Xenophilius Lovegood by the way.” The male said as he inclined his head a bit.  
  
Harry looked back to the girl who still hadn’t let go of his arm. He knew this was risky, but if they really wouldn’t harm him and they wanted to help him. Somehow Harry still felt like he could trust them and he relaxed.  
  
Tom wasn’t going to like this however. Luna pulled something from her bag and put a kind of cap on his head, most likely covering his famous scar. He smiled a bit at her and she returned the smile as she looked up towards her father.  
  
“We can take the Knight Bus back right? I think Harry would like the experience.” She said and Harry remembered that Tom had also mentioned the Knight bus and he started to wonder what it exactly was.  
  
The male nodded with a smile and they walked off towards the street again. Harry let the girl pull him along while Xenophilius took his trunk.  
  
When they were near an alleyway that seemed to be deserted Harry saw how the elder wizard simply raised his wand and Luna gave him one last word of advice. “Keep your head down.”  
  
Harry nodded gratefully, knowing that they didn’t want them to be recognized.  
  
Harry almost fell backwards when all of a sudden a bus appeared out of nowhere and stopped in front of them, but as his shock wore off he looked down to the ground as someone opened the bus door.  
  
Harry heard Xenophilius talking to the driver and then they slowly entered the bus. Harry looked up a bit and eyed the strange bus, which was certainly more spacious on the inside than it had looked on the outside. There were even beds and Harry noted that both Luna and Xenophilius sat down at one bed.  
  
So he took the one next to them. “Hold on tight Harry.” Luna warned him with a small smile.  
  
Harry wanted to ask her, but all of a sudden the whole bus lunged forward and Harry let out a shocked yell as he had nothing to hold on to.  
  
The next thing he felt were two arms coming up from behind him pulling him back on the bed quickly and Harry grabbed onto the arms surrounding him. He was aware that Luna’s father let out a shocked gasp and he knew instantly that Tom was holding him.  
  
With wide eyes he looked over his shoulder to Tom, who also looked at him, before his attention fixed on the two others. Harry also glanced over to Luna and her father and noticed that Luna seemed to be swinging her legs back and forth and humming a soft tone with a smile, as she stared out of the window.  
  
Xenophillius’s eyes however were fixed on them, but eventually he just smiled and also looked outside, enjoying the scenery as it all rushed by.  
  
Harry let out a relieved sigh and shifted a bit as Tom also moved to get a bit more comfortable. “Is this wise?” Harry asked him so softly that no one could hear. Dark eyes trailed towards the strange wizard and witch at the other bed and Tom just shrugged.  
  
“I took a small look through her mind, but it seemed like the girl has no ill intentions, so we should be fine.” Tom replied just as softly.  
  
Harry stared up at Tom horrified. “You did what!?” He hissed at him through clenched teeth.  
  
Tom sighed and turned his gaze back to Harry. “She knew what was happening and even allowed it. You felt it the moment your magic weakened a bit. I guess I am still not strong enough to use too much magic without you feeling it.” Tom said.  
  
Harry shook his head as he exhaled deeply. “I am fine. I felt something yes, but I am fine now.” Harry reassured him, even though Tom didn’t say it out loud Harry had the feeling that Tom needed to hear that he was fine.  
  
Harry looked back at Tom. “No more mind reading Tom. I don’t think it is right to invade someone’s mind like that.”  
  
Tom inhaled sharply, but the bus took a sudden turn and Harry didn’t see it coming as he fell backwards and almost off the bed again. Luckily Tom reacted quickly and grabbed Harry’s wrists, pulling him to safety once again.  
  
“It is not mind reading, it is called Legilimency,” Tom stated sharply. “And that was the reason I placed your memories in the diary a few months ago, because Albus Dumbledore is a known Legilimens. Remember what I told you about that.”  
  
Harry gave a small nod as he remembered Tom saying and explaining that. The two wizards looked over to Luna as they heard her giggle at them.  
  
“It’s funny to see the two of you interact and know how different it was at first.” Harry felt confused at her words and when he looked towards Tom, he noticed that Tom had a slight shocked and confused expression before his face showed no emotions anymore.  
  
Xenophilius watched them all in silence as he had a feeling his daughter knew what she was doing anyway. Her gift was rare, very rare and it was even rarer to see her talk to other children like this. Luna had often been a loner, because she knew even though she was a witch, she was different.  
  
The rest of the trip was spent in silence and when they arrived Tom faded into the diary again and Harry stepped out of the bus as he eyed the house where Luna was running towards too. It seemed to be like a big black cylinder and Harry stared at it with slight awe.  
  
Magic would never cease to amaze him, Harry thought as he made his way after Xenophilius. They walked over the front yard and Luna was beaming at them from what Harry assumed the front door. Her father laughed at her eagerness as he opened the door and Luna proceeded to pull Harry inside.  
  
Harry just let himself be pulled along as they walked through the kitchen and then upstairs towards what Harry assumed was Luna’s bedroom.  
  
Harry blinked at the paintings on the wall and he didn’t even notice that Tom appeared and also stared at it.  
  
“It is a painting I made for the Archangels.” Luna replied, seeing the two males looking at the picture in wonder.  
  
Harry shifted closer to the wall on which 7 angels were drawn, standing next to each other. But the one near the middle caught Harry’s attention the most. A blond male with beautiful light blue eyes that Harry thought seemed familiar. Tom stood in the middle of the room as he watched the painting, the white feathered wings on their back bringing back memories to that awful day and that beautiful moment of seeing that angel.  
  
“Who is the one with the blue robes?” Harry asked Luna as he still watched the blonde angel.  
  
“Archangel Michael,” Luna replied softly. “He has been watching over you since you were born.”  
  
Harry’s eyes widened and then he turned to look at the girl, who smiled though it looked rather sad now. Even Tom looked towards the girl in clear shock, but Harry didn’t notice Tom’s reaction and Luna was focused on Harry.  
  
“What!?” Harry got out and he hated how soft his voice sounded, but Luna merely stood up and stood next to Harry facing the wall. Harry’s eyes also went back to Michael.  
  
“I can see and hear the angels, Harry. They tell me things that are important. I might be young, but don’t let my age fool you.” Luna whispered. Harry walked forward and placed a hand on Michael’s robes as if he could truly touch the angel through that simple painting on the wall.  
  
“It must have taken years to finish this.” Harry whispered as he eyed the details.  
  
Luna laughed softly. “I started it when I was 5, so yes.” Harry looked back at her in shock and Luna just smiled brightly. It was then that Harry noticed Tom was staring at the two of them and also at the painting behind him.  
  
“Tom?” Harry asked, seeing that Tom’s mind was very far away. Tom blinked owlishly and shook his head. Harry frowned, feeling that something was bothering him, but he had a feeling that Tom wouldn’t open up to him about it. It was clear the other had his secrets and Harry decided to let Tom come to him with it all on his own terms.  
  
So he just smiled reassuringly at the other and then faced the painting once more.  
  
He didn’t see Luna looking over her shoulder as her silver eyes watched Tom silently. Tom also looked back at her, when he noticed that her attention was on him.  
  
Then he just faded away into the diary, needing some time alone. For Luna not only believed in angels, but she said herself she was capable of speaking and seeing them. It was another confirmation that it was real and what he had seen and felt back then had been real.  
  
Harry got a guest room just across Luna’s room and he told both of them he was grateful for their help. Luna had simply replied that it was because the angels had warned her to come for him and that he should thank the angels instead. Harry just nodded, feeling a bit awkward in thanking something that was invisible, but did it anyways.  
  
The next day Luna invited both Harry and Tom into her room again. After Harry had called out to Tom a few times, since it seemed like Tom didn’t wish to come out of the diary. Harry just grumbled and went back to his own room picking up the diary, an ink bottle and a quill he started to write. ‘ _Tom, what is wrong with you?’_  
  
The reply was instant. ‘ _Leave me alone, Harry_.’ Harry leaned back as he looked at the diary, wondering what was going through the others mind.  
  
_‘Tom, if anything is wrong please at least talk to me. Luna wants to give you something. It is not nice to ignore that.’_ Harry wrote back.  
  
“Fine!” A voice snapped and Harry almost jumped from the sheer shock of hearing Tom’s clearly angry voice.  
  
A knock sounded on the door and Luna carefully opened the door a bit. She looked inside and smiled. “Can I come in?”  
  
Harry nodded. “Of course.” He said, as he quickly put the diary back in his bag and eyed Tom, who glared at the girl. Luna seemed to completely ignore the glare as she walks up to Tom and hands him a necklace and the male stared at it with slight horror in his eyes.  
  
Tom never liked any kind of jewellery and this was simply the strangest necklace he had ever seen. He was already feeling agitated and to come out of the diary to only receive something like this.  
  
It were three stones on what seemed to be a small thin rope. Tom blinked at the pink stone, staring at it in clear disgust. Though the purple one and the clear crystal like stone also made him recoil at it in disgust. Stones? He didn’t understand why she would hand him a rope with stones on it.  
  
“You should wear it,” Luna said with a dreamy smile, completely ignoring his glare or his anger once again. “These stones you need the most right now. They are the most powerful ones out there,” The blonde girl pointed at the clear stone. “This is a Clear Quarts or Rock Quarts,” Her fingers moved till she pointed at the purple stone. “This is an Amethyst and the last one is the one you need the most. It is a Rose Quarts.”  
  
Tom heard Harry snicker next to him but ignored it as he still glared at the stones and handed the necklace back at the girl. “I don’t have to wear any of them.” Tom snarled and the send a quick glare to Harry, who apparently found this amusing. The mere thought that this young girl was ordering him around was even more appalling.    
  
But to his surprise Harry moved forward and pulled the necklace out of his hands and put it around his neck. He stared at Harry with wide eyes, not believing what he had just done.  
  
Harry narrowed his eyes. “It is a gift, Tom. You should at least accept it and I am guessing that Luna has a reason for giving it to you.” He said as he looked over to the blonde girl.  
  
Luna gave a soft hum and nodded as she started to explain. “A Clear Quarts is a really strong and natural healing stone. The Amethyst is a stone that works soothing for the mind, emotions and it also initiates wisdom and greater understanding. It works also as a healing stone and a balancing stone.”  
  
Luna went silent then as she watched the two of them and Tom could barely wrap his mind around what she had just said. He grabbed the stones in his hand that were hanging around his neck and stared at it. Stones which could heal? He remembered reading something similar about wizards and witches using crystals in the past during rituals.  
  
Was this kind of the same? “You should wear it on your skin for it to work better.” Luna said and Tom looked up. Harry stayed silent this time as he watched Tom carefully put the cold stones beneath his robes.   
  
“You have not explained the last one.” Tom stated as she was turning around, clearly planning to leave.  
  
Luna glanced over her shoulder, looking a bit thought as she slowly spoke. “Rose Quarts is the stone of love.” She said and then walked out of the room.  
  
Tom felt horrified and immediately understood why he hated the pink stone the most. Love…  
  
“Tom?” Harry asked softly as he reached out and gently grabbed Tom’s hand. Despite everything he felt himself relax at the touch and looked down at the other wizard next to him.  
  
“Do you believe in angels, Harry?” Tom asked quite suddenly. The question was out of his mouth before he even thought about it.  
  
Harry didn’t even think about his answer at all. “Yes,” Harry believed without a doubt there was something more that was unseen by them. Strangely enough he also believed Luna could see them. “What about you?”  
  
Tom tightened his grip on Harry’s hand. “I never used to believe in anything like that, but I guess…”  
  
Harry just smiled as Tom’s voice trailed off. “People can change Tom. But I guess now I kind of know why you stole those books.” Harry said with a small laugh.  
  
Tom’s lips turned upwards in a soft smile. “Indeed…” Tom said softly as he watched Harry next to him. Those emerald eyes alight with happiness and that smile on Harry’s face was simply contagious.  
  
Though Tom was thinking that maybe Harry was an angel as well. For there was simply no other explanation for why he felt the way he did with Harry as he did with the angel he saw years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder how many people saw this coming xD?  
> Honestly even I was surprised by the turn this chapter took. Anyway cya next update :).


	14. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom thinks about everything and his own feelings. Dumbledore and some aurors arrive at the Lovegood house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter :).
> 
> Hope you all enjoy ^-^!  
> All mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> And thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^!! I am still quite surprised how many people like this story lol…
> 
> Anyway cya next update :)

### Chapter 13: Return

Tom was inside the diary as he held the three stones in his hand and stared at them. He didn’t know what to feel and he couldn’t understand why the girl had handed him these stones. Or maybe deep down he understood it but just didn’t want to accept it. He just couldn’t accept it, that in a way she was telling him that he needed some sort of healing and he also needed love…  
  
Back then he hadn’t cared about anything or anyone, let alone love someone. Love had never been on his mind. And if it was, it was because it was just a word he hated and a feeling he couldn’t relate to.  
  
He was going to be the greatest wizard of the world and nothing else mattered, that was the most important thing that he had been working on. He should be happy; his future self had done it. He was the strongest wizard out there and immortal, even if no one knows this.  
  
Yet happiness was the furthest thing he felt. Tom couldn’t understand why his future self had gone after Harry. Why would he have gone after a mere infant? And had he not recognized Harry, even if the boy had only been a bit older than one year old? Had he not looked into those green eyes and thought back to that day in the war? Had his future self not recognized those eyes of that angel? Was his mind so far gone that he had forgotten that moment? And the last question that haunted his mind was, who was ‘ _Hadrian_ ’ and why had Voldemort called Harry by that name?   
  
Tom just didn’t know, yet it felt like the answer was right in front of him at times... What he did know deep down, and what he couldn’t accept, was that he truly needed healing and love…  
  
Love… the one emotion he had never understood and always despised. It was not just the pink colour of the stone that had disgusted him. It was the meaning behind the stone. ‘ _The stone of Love’_.   
  
He didn’t need love, he never needed it before, and that is what he kept telling himself. He had seen how foolish people in love could be. To willingly sacrifice themselves for someone they care for or even love. Harry was one example and Tom should hate that about him. Yet he did not.  
  
From the first moment that he laid eyes upon the younger wizard, there was simply something there, because he did recognize that angel in Harry. It were those beautiful emerald eyes that stared up at him. They held the same light as the eyes of that angel. The only thing that was obscuring those eyes were those awful glasses.  
  
Tom sighed as he craved the knowledge he was missing right now and he needed to know it all, but even books couldn’t tell him everything. Yet there was someone out there who could. It was just a matter of putting all his pride aside and ask her.  
  
Tom let out a small snort as he placed the stones back underneath his robes. He could feel the cold touch of them against his skin and he sighed. He didn’t want to ask her. He would read more and more. He would find out everything on his own, like he always did.  
  
Tom also started to think that maybe being locked away inside the diary had made him soft all of a sudden. 50 years was a long time and even though he had been in a kind of slumber state, he had been aware of the passing of time outside the diary. But somehow he knew this wasn’t the case, he had only started to change slightly after meeting Harry, but he just denied that all. Denying was easy after all…  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It was just a few days later that everything went downhill. They should have somehow seen it coming, but it still came as a surprise when Dumbledore and aurors arrived at the Lovegood house.  
  
Xenophilius just opened the door, while Luna and Harry were in the back garden. Tom sat close by near a tree, reading. Harry had noticed that Tom had been doing that quite a lot and Luna had just shook her head with a fond smile when she had noticed it as well.  
  
Harry hadn’t needed to explain to Luna who Tom was, she said she already knew everything, because the angels told her what she needed to know, but she could only speak as much as the angels allowed her to. She could not interfere more than what they told her. Fate had its own course and no matter what it could not be changed.  
  
Harry though was worried about Tom. Because the other was so lost in these books and they hardly talked to one another and Harry found he kind of missed the simple conversations he had with the other wizard.  
  
But it seemed like no matter what, Tom’s focus was solely on his books and Harry had giving up quickly, realising that there was something bothering the other as Tom’s replies were curt and often  with a glare that showed the other’s irritation.  
  
Luna had just shrugged and said that Tom was just trying to find out more information. Yet the information he was seeking for couldn’t be truly found in books and she also said that Tom already knew the truth deep down, but he was just denying it all.  
  
Harry had grown used to the fact that Luna seemed to know so much about either him or Tom. She was a strange girl, but Harry liked her nonetheless.  
  
“Luna, Harry. We have a visitor,” Harry looked over his shoulder at hearing Xenophilius voice’s and Tom also glanced up as he immediately disappeared. Harry stood up and froze when he saw the headmaster, one witch and one strange looking wizard walking towards them. Harry immediately thought the other two must be aurors...

Harry saw that the female witch hair’s colour changed when she got closer. It had been a brown shade colour before, but now it was bright red and a big smile appeared on her face.

The other wizard… was someone that Harry felt instantly wary of. One of his feet was replaced with what seemed to be a wooden leg and one of his eyes was turning in every direction, which should be impossible. Harry soon noticed that it was not a real eye at all as it kept turning, as if keeping everything in sight.

“Harry, my boy…” Dumbledore muttered with a frown as he was close enough and Harry looked down. Wondering if Tom was right and the headmaster would send him back to the Dursley’. “We were worried about you, when I heard you left your relatives home.”

 

Harry glanced up at him and those blue eyes weren’t twinkling and the headmaster looked serious and much older all of a sudden. “Sir, I am sorry,” Harry gathered his courage and decided to take a chance. “My uncle wanted to hit me. I thought… I couldn’t stay. I was scared, so I packed my stuff when I had the chance and I left. I met Luna and she and her father were nice enough to take me in.”

Dumbledore looked sad and Harry heard a shocked gasp coming from the witch, whose hair turned a shade of blue all of a sudden. The strange male however didn’t seem bothered, and only stared down at him. “Harry, we talked to them. They said they are happy that you left and that you shouldn’t return, but since Petunia is your only blood relative alive. It is simply necessary to go back there. For only there you are safe from Voldemort should he return again, my boy.” Dumbledore said softly.

That was it… Tom was right; Dumbledore was going to send him back despite what he just said. He may be safe from Voldemort, if the headmaster’s words were true, but he wasn’t safe from his uncle or aunt…

The strange man walked up and spoke softly to Albus. Harry couldn’t quite catch the words and he frowned as he looked at the wizards. The witch behind them shifted a bit and then smiled at him with a small wave of her, her hair turning pink now, and Harry smiled a bit as he immediately liked her.  
  
The headmaster sadly shook his head. “I will talk to them and make sure that they will not hurt Harry anymore. I am positive it was just a small misunderstanding.” Albus said towards the other male.

 

Harry wanted to say it was not, since it happened many times more since he was younger, but he wondered if it would even work. He looked at Luna who only smiled dreamingly at him and he simply knew that there was no way out of this. It was as if he could see it in Luna’s eyes that this should happen.

“Remember you are not alone, Harry,” Luna just said with a small smile. Harry noticed that the male with the wooden leg moved towards Xenophilius and spoke with him. Harry couldn’t help but notice how the male kept glancing at the blonde wizard as if he was freak…

Harry gritted his teeth and looked back up at Dumbledore who sighed. “I am sorry, but we will talk with your relatives, Harry. Because of the blood wards you are only safe in your relatives’ house. Voldemort cannot get inside there.” Dumbledore explained once more.  
  
Harry just gave a small nod and was forced to say his goodbyes to both Luna and her father. Even though he had only spent a few days here he knew he was going to miss it. Luna had promised to write him however and he was glad that he met the blonde girl.  
  
Dumbledore apparated them back to Privet Drive and Harry braced himself as aunt Petunia opened the door and glared down at him. Despite not liking that he had to return here, he felt relieved that she was alright, just like Tom had told him.  
  
“Get in.” She snarled when she looked at them with hatred in her eyes. Dumbledore just smiled pleasantly as he walked in and Harry quickly moved in after him and with one glance over his shoulder he saw his aunt looking at the street, most likely wondering if the neighbours had seen the strange people standing in front of her door.  
  
Harry withheld a sigh as he entered the living room. He could already hear the sounds of the television and he saw uncle Vernon’s reaction when he noticed him. His eyes widened and then narrowed just as quickly and he stood up, storming over to him.  
  
“Good day Mr. Dursley,” Dumbledore said and Harry cast his eyes down as he saw his uncle’s eyes shift to the elder wizard.  “I wish I could have come here under better circumstances again, but I once will warn you that having Harry in this house will also protect you all from Voldemort.”  
  
Harry glanced up and saw that uncle Vernon was red in the face, most likely trying to keep his anger in check. “The freak ran away, he should have stayed away,” His uncle snapped. “I was very clear that he is not welcome here anymore. _WE_ want nothing to do with your freaks show.”  
  
Honestly those words only made Harry feel worse and he looked sideways up to Dumbledore who seemed to think. Harry just prayed and hoped that the headmaster would not leave him here. The elder wizard looked down towards him and Harry was mindful of not looking directly in those blue eyes.  
  
“Petunia, Harry is still your nephew. Lily’s son, do you feel the same way?” Albus asked her.  
  
Harry didn’t dare look up at his aunt. He knew that she would prefer that he would stay away as well and that actually hurt far worse, considering she was family.  
  
“I agree with Vernon. The boy is not welcome anymore.” Petunia stated coldly and Harry finally gathered the courage to look up at her. Aunt Petunia sneered down at him and he sighed as he looked back towards Dumbledore once more.  
  
The headmaster would not let him remain here when it was clear that they didn’t want him here, would he? Dumbledore sighed sadly. “I am truly sorry, but it is for the best if Harry remains here. It will protect you all from Voldemort.”  
  
Harry gritted his teeth in slight frustration. “Sir, with all respect, but if I am not welcome here I rather stay somewhere else. I am quite certain that I would be safe in the Lovegood house as well. Voldemort is not out there and he wouldn’t even know where I am staying either. Meaning that we keep this all a secret and we all will be safe, since he would believe I am staying here.”  
  
Harry saw how the headmaster looked down at him with a slight frown and Harry wondered if he had spoken out of line. Silence filled the room and Harry shifted as he looked down and his clenched his hands into fists.  
  
If there were any kind of angels out there, than Harry prayed that they would listen and let him go back to the Lovegood house.  
  
“Sadly I cannot argue with your words, Harry,” Harry looked up and saw that Dumbledore still seemed lost in thoughts a bit. “Alright.” The elder wizard eventually said.  
  
Harry’s eyes widened and he looked in disbelief at the headmaster. He heard uncle Vernon grumble something that sounded like ‘ _Good riddance_ ’. Only when Harry was certain that Dumbledore actually meant it a bright smile appeared on his face and Dumbledore smiled at him in return.  
  
“We will keep it a secret and it would be better if even your friends are unaware, meaning that only those inside this room and the Lovegoods know where you are truly living.” Dumbledore said as he looked at Harry’s relatives as well.  
  
“Anything if that boy gets out of here.” Vernon said coldly as he glared at Harry.  
  
But Harry simply smiled; even uncle Vernon’s bad mood or words couldn’t bring him down now. This was the best thing of his life, Harry was certain about that. He would never be staying here, never again. He would not be forced to clean the whole house, to be hit and locked away. He would never have days where he would go without food.  
  
“Don’t worry.  Don’t think I will ever come back.” Harry said, still with a smile on his face. Then he looked towards his aunt and she stared down at him, her face blank and unreadable at the moment. Harry wondered if she might regret it all, but even then he didn’t dare ask her.  
  
“You are just like your mother,” She said as she still stared at him. Harry’s smile faded a bit at her words. “I hope you will be happy in that wizarding world.” She turned around and left, leaving Harry to look at her back as she walked further into the living room. Her words didn’t make sense and Dumbledore shook his head.  
  
“Well, let’s go back then.”  Dumbledore said as he held out his arm and Harry grabbed it, already hating that he would be forced to side-apparate with the other wizard again. Wizards couldn’t have invented better travelling methods…  
  
Harry stumbled after he felt like he was being pushed through a thin pipe and Dumbledore laughed softly. “One day you will get used to it, my boy,” Harry straightened and looked up, seeing the familiar building of the Lovegood house. Harry and Dumbledore walked up to the house and Harry frowned at the headmasters next words. “Your aunt always envied Lily, because your mother had magic and she didn’t. Petunia kept sending letters in hopes that she would also be able to go to Hogwarts. I honestly didn’t think she still had a grudge over that.”  
  
It was those words that made Harry understand his aunt better than he had before. She was jealous of her sister, maybe always had been and the only way in which she had shown it was with jealousy and loathing. He couldn’t help but find it sad that even years later she was still so lost in her past that she would hate him just for having magic.  
  
Harry’s thought faded from his mind and he smiled as he saw Luna sitting in the front yard reading something.  It was only when Harry got closer that he noticed she was reading it upside down and he laughed softly, making her put the magazine down. She had a dreamy smile on her face as she eyed the two of them.  
  
“Welcome back Harry.” Her airy voice said and Harry realised she might have known they would be back and she had been waiting here.  
  
“Thanks Luna,” He said with a smile on his face. Then he looked back up at Dumbledore who looked at them with a soft smile and a twinkle in his eyes, just like Harry knew him. “Thank you sir.”  
  
Dumbledore gave a small nod and once again warned them about keeping it a secret from everyone and he really meant everyone. Afterwards the headmaster left and Luna stood up, dragging Harry to her room again. Harry had only one second to say hello to Xenophilius who just smiled at them, when they passed by. In truth Xenophilius was just happy to see his daughter had made a friend now.  
  
When the door closed Harry finally relaxed and he wasn’t surprised when Tom appeared and gently lifted his head. Those blue eyes stared at him and then soft hisses that only Harry could understand left his mouth. _“Are you alright?”_  
  
Harry nodded and Tom pulled his hand away and Harry inwardly cursed when he already missed the other’s touch. But it was clear that Tom rarely touched him when Luna was near them, so Harry let it rest.  
  
“I am surprised…” Tom muttered softly and Harry barely caught it.  
  
“Sometimes it takes some time before we learn from our mistakes…” Luna said. “I think the headmaster might have finally admitted to himself that he was wrong on some occasions, but only time can tell.”  
  
Tom looked at the girl and then back towards Harry. Harry moved forward and carefully pulled Tom forward into a hug.  
  
Harry felt the other sigh as all the tension seemed to fade away and Tom put his arms around him as well. Harry still couldn’t imagine how it must have been for Tom to live in the muggle world with the war. He didn’t dare ask about it, but he knew that Tom had wanted to stay at Hogwarts during the summers.  
  
Albus Dumbledore however had never let him. In a way Harry was certain that if Dumbledore had chosen to let Tom stay at Hogwarts that everything would have been different. Tom wouldn’t have faced the muggle war and the orphanage and as a result he would have trusted Dumbledore more.  
  
But things didn’t go that way and instead Tom practically hated Dumbledore for not giving him the shelter and protection he craved. Harry couldn’t blame Tom, because for one second Harry had also been certain he would have to live with his relatives once again.  
  
But Dumbledore had relented and now he was living here in the Lovegood house. Harry felt Tom’s grip on him tighten and he pulled back a bit, looking Tom right in the face. His eyes were dark and narrowed in barely restrained anger. Harry moved his hand down and gripped Tom’s quickly.  
  
The anger faded a little bit and Tom’s eyes focused on him. Neither of them noticed that Luna had left them alone.  
  
Tom raised his free hand and gently moved his fingers over Harry’s cheek. He felt calm and collected, even though just a moment ago he had been furious. “Why are you different? Why in Merlin’s name did he allow you to stay somewhere else?” Tom’s voice was a mere whisper and Harry could recognize the feelings of betrayal and hurt in it.  
  
Harry shook his head. “I don’t know,” He replied just as softly as he moved his head closer to Tom’s hand. Harry let out a small laugh. “I think Luna knows…”  
  
Tom closed his eyes and just pulled Harry against him again, placing his head atop Harry’s. The girl knew everything, she knew too much and once again Tom felt the urge to either ask her or tear the information from her mind….  
  
He knew the latter would maybe result in permanent brain damage and Harry would never forgive him for it, so he just tried to ignore those thoughts as he sighed deeply. Maybe one day he would understand it all, until then he would just be content with what he had in the moment.


	15. Birthday Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry’s birthday party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in a week again? Yes, apparently…  
> Even though I had more important things to do than to write, but alas here we are... 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! And all mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> Many thanks to everyone who left kudos, comments and so on ^-^!! 
> 
> And cya next update :).

### Chapter 14: Birthday Party

Time went by quickly and before Harry even knew it, it was his 13th birthday.  
  
It was quite strange to be free all day long. Normally he would be doing all those chores in the Dursleys household, but now he could just enjoy the nice weather and spent time with Luna and Tom. At times however he grew bored of it all. He simply was not used to having so much free time, luckily Luna always made sure that the next day they would have something to do.  
  
And like that the past few weeks went by. Harry had noticed that Tom had been silent towards Luna and at times when Tom thought Harry didn’t notice he found the wizard staring at him. The stare was a bit unnerving and Harry didn’t quite understand it.  
  
Surprisingly though a week ago, when Tom politely asked if he could create a potion and Xenophilius had nothing against it and even made sure that the right ingredients were there, it made Harry wonder what Tom was going to create, but when he asked the other just shook his head and said. “It is a secret.”  
  
Luna had just giggled and Tom had glared at her, warning her to keep her mouth shut. Harry had just laughed at the two of them, Tom and Luna had somehow found a way into his heart and he knew he cared for them both. Even though Harry hated to think about it, he actually liked Tom and Luna more than he liked Ron and Hermione.  
  
Though he kept in contact with them both. The Weasleys were in Egypt however and they had sent a letter with a photo of them standing in front of pyramid. Harry had said it looked great and he also wanted to visit the place. Tom had said they might go there one day.  
  
Harry was glad that Ron and his family were enjoying themselves, but it actually hurt him deep down that he couldn’t tell Ron or Hermione about what happened and that he was staying somewhere else now. But he knew it was for the best.  
  
He was safe here that was the most important thing. Especially since a convicted murderer had escaped Azkaban. Tom had said that no one had ever escaped the Wizarding Prison. Luna surprisingly had stayed quiet about the escape and Sirius Black.  
  
Harry had a feeling she knew more, but when he asked she replied that she wasn’t allowed to tell them. Luna had also explained a lot regarding the angels and Harry found it quite interesting to listen to her. Tom had also been there every time she explained anything.  
  
Harry found it odd that Tom was so fascinated by angels and had teased him with it. The other wizard had simply shook his head at him and continued to ignore him the rest of those days. More often Tom just spends the time in his diary and it still hurt Harry that the other was closing up on him at those times.  
  
Harry had no idea what went on inside the other’s mind, but he knew that Tom was struggling with something. Harry had even one day asked him, but Tom had said he was fine and the conversation ended there.  
  
And since today was his birthday, Xenophilius and even Luna had taken the time to actually celebrate it. Something that Harry had never done before, at least not for his birthday. It felt slightly awkward, but when Luna asked him if he wanted to help decorate the living room he gladly did.  
  
Above the fireplace was a sign that read ‘ _Happy Birthday’_ painted in yellow letters. Luna had said that her mother had made it for her, when she turned 6 and still every year they would hang it up on her father’s, her mother’s and her own birthday.  
  
Harry felt honoured but also a bit shocked that they would use this for his birthday. It felt like he didn’t earn it, since he was not a part of their family. When he had said that, Xenophilius had laughed at him. “A friend of Luna is automatically family, Harry. So don’t worry about it.”  
  
Harry had looked over to Luna who simply smiled at him. He gave a small nod and a smile in return. Harry had heard from Luna’s father that she never had any friends before and Xenophilius had quickly taken a liking to him.  
  
Harry glanced towards Tom who was sitting in a chair reading, but when Tom felt eyes upon him he lowered the book a bit and looked at him. Silently Tom raised an eyebrow as if asking what was wrong.  
  
Harry withheld a sigh and moved forward, grabbing the book from Tom’s fingers. “Please don’t tell me that you are going to spend this whole day reading.” Harry said and he then looked at the cover. ‘ _Archangels and Guardian angels._ ’  
  
Figures… Harry thought as he met Tom’s eyes once more. Tom just grabbed the book out of Harry’s hand again and it vanished into thin air. Harry however knew that Tom had just placed it inside the diary. “That was not my intention.” Tom replied slowly.  
  
Harry blinked at him and then sighed as he pulled Tom off the couch. “Then help decorate the room.” Harry said with a smile and Tom’s eyes grew wide as he looked over to Luna who just smiled at them as she placed another ornament on the wall.  
  
As Tom glanced around the room he noticed that all of the walls were already filled with decoration. “There is nothing to decorate anymore…” Tom muttered with a frown.  
  
“There is always more room for decoration, Tom.” Luna said as she moved forward and handed him some stuff. Harry just laughed and pulled Tom towards a corner where there still was a bit of free space.  
  
“Come on Tom. It will be fun.” Harry urged him on with a bright smile and Tom sighed inwardly, somehow unable to resist that look on Harry’s face.  
  
Tom just shook his head as he helped Harry place the ornaments. He had never celebrated his birthday or of someone else and with a small glance towards the younger wizard next to him, he knew this was the first real birthday party for Harry as well. He cursed inwardly when he had no idea what he should do exactly.  
  
Harry stood on his toes as he attached a piece of ornament against the wall. Tom just did the same, until Harry moved towards him and put a decorative cord around his neck. Harry smiled up to him and the light that fell into those deep green eyes caught Tom’s full attention.  
  
Harry had become for much carefree since he lived here and it showed. For Tom noticed, and even felt, how happy Harry truly was at the moment. A small smile appeared on his face. Maybe he should not have spent so much time in those books…. Maybe he should just learn to enjoy this all and have fun like Harry said.  
  
“That reminds me, when is your birthday, Tom?” Harry asked him.  
  
“The 31st of December.” Tom replied and Harry just gave a nod, still with that bright smile on his face.  
  
They continued on decorating, even the table outside was completely decorated, since it was actually a nice day.  
  
Harry couldn’t remember every having so much fun on his birthday, as he and Luna flew a bit, because Luna had giving him a new broom, together with her father. Tom had just stayed on the ground, saying he didn’t like flying that much. Harry had tried to persuade the other, but Tom said he would not use a broom.  
  
Harry looked sad and sighed, making something inside Tom tense. Because just mere moments ago Harry had laughing and enjoying himself. Tom closed his eyes and sighed as he said. “Give me that broom.” He could not believe he was doing this.  
  
Harry’s eyes lit up as he handed his broom over to Tom, who eyed it warily as he accepted it. Harry looked at Tom with a slight frown, noticing immediately that Tom seemed reluctant.  “How about we go together?” Harry asked.  
  
Tom looked up and wanted to protest but Harry shook his head as he grabbed the broom out of Tom’s hand again. He ignored Tom’s protests as he swung his leg over it and looked over his shoulder towards the other wizard.  
  
“Come on, Tom.” Harry said. He hoped that Tom would accept it still. The other wizard looked at the broom before he sighed and muttered something that Harry couldn’t quite catch.  
  
Harry smiled and looked ahead as he felt Tom move on the broom behind him. “Hold on tight alright. You know how to fly right?”  
  
“I have not flown in 50 years….” Tom replied stiffly. “I must admit I never quite liked it.”  
  
Harry glanced over his shoulder and saw that Tom was still tense. “Relax…” Harry said softly. “I am good flyer, so don’t worry. I will not let us fall.”  
  
Tom gave a small nod as he leaned forward and grabbed the handle of the room just beneath Harry’s hands. His chest was touching Harry’s back as Tom tried to relax his body. Harry seemed satisfied as he shifted and then pushed off. He fly a few circles, slowly, clearly letting Tom get used to the feeling a bit more.  
  
When Harry felt the body behind him relax a bit, he smiled and increased the speed, feeling the strong wind move through his hair and he felt Tom stiffen for one second.  
  
“Don’t like the feel of the wind rushing through your hair, Tom?” Harry screamed. “It feels so carefree here in the air, like there are no worries.”  
  
Tom’s grip on the handle was strong. There was a reason why he didn’t like flying on a broom, because you were dependent of an object. If the broom would not function properly, you had a risk of falling of a severe height and Tom just didn’t like that idea at all.  
  
He couldn’t deny that Harry was a good flyer, but still he couldn’t fully relax and appreciate it like Harry did. It was at times like these that Tom thought that Harry was truly fearless…  
  
 “Tom?” Harry slowed down a bit and glanced over his shoulder when he got no reply.  
  
“I don’t like flying that much because we are using a broom…” Tom muttered softly. Tom looked down to the ground beneath them and noticed Luna staring up at them and waving. Harry raised his hand and waved back.  
  
“You are scared of falling?” Harry asked him.  
  
_‘More like scared of dying from the fall._ ’ Tom thought, but he just shrugged. “I was trying to find a way to fly without the aid of a broom.” He admitted as he looked back to Harry.  
  
Harry’s eyes widened in awe. “Without a broom?” He asked him and Tom nodded and then Harry’s lips turned upwards. “Wow… I would like to see that.”  
  
Tom smiled a bit. “When I succeeded I will learn you as well.” Tom said and Harry just gave a nod.  
  
“You want to go down?” Harry asked him and to that Tom would only answer yes.  
  
When their feet touched the ground Tom let out a deep breath and Harry laughed softly, making the elder teen glare at him. “Careful or you can forget about your present still.” Tom threatened with a smirk.  
  
Harry immediately stopped laughing, but he still had a smile on his face and as Harry and Tom walked up to Luna they noticed a big black dog sitting next to the blonde girl. Luna was petting it and the dog was happily wagging his tail.  
  
When they got closer the dog must have heard their approach as the eyes shot towards them and the dog lunged forward, barking loudly and his tail wagging happily until he reached Harry.  
  
“Heey there,” Harry said with a smile as he crouched down and putted the dog’s head. The dog let out a happy bark and moved up, attempting to lick his face. Harry laughed and pushed the dog down. “Easy.”  
  
Luna watched the scene with a fond smile and Tom eyed the dog curiously. “A stray dog?” He questioned as he looked at Luna.  
  
Luna shrugged with a dreamy smile. “Looks like it. I don’t remember ever seeing it before though.” The blonde girl replied.  
  
Harry noted that the dog’s black fur was matted and it was rather skinny. Tom was right that it must be a stray and Harry could remember his own thoughts of living on the street and trying to survive. He didn’t need to ever have those thoughts now, since he wasn’t living with the Dursleys anymore.  
  
But somehow it made his heart ache, looking at the dog which stared up at him and was still wagging his tail. “Have you some food to spare?” Harry asked Luna as he looked up at her. “I promise I will pay it back, but I think he must be hungry.”  
  
“Of course we have some food for him.” Luna replied with a smile. “I will go ask my dad.”  
  
Harry smiled and looked back down as he moved his hand over the dog’s head, making the animal bark at him. “We will get you something to eat, alright.” Harry said. He had no idea if the animal would even understand it, but it seemed like it did as he started to try and lick Harry’s face again.  
  
This made Tom frown as he still kept his eyes on the dog. He had seen how focused the dog was on Harry and somehow it unnerved him… Something inside him was warning him and Tom already started to speculate that this dog might not even an animal at all… but an animagus.  
  
But since it seemed like the dog had clearly no ill intentions towards Harry, Tom decided to see what would happen.  
  
Luna came back and together, without Tom since he was watching them from a small distance, they fed the dog some bread and other stuff that Xenophilius had said could be missed for now. Harry laughed as afterwards the black dog started running all over the lawn.  
  
Harry had decided to try and keep up, playing with the dog for some time, until he just grew tired of running around.  
  
Luna had sat down next to Tom, as they both watched. “You are aware of it, aren’t you?” Tom questioned her.  
  
Luna gave a slight hum and Tom looked over to the blonde girl who was smiling at the scene of Harry running around with the black dog. Tom sighed and just faded into the diary for now, knowing that none of his questions would be answered by her anyway.  
  
Harry was happy when even at dinner the dog remained and he still gave it some meat. Luna had warned him that if he didn’t watch it the dog would get fat real fast, but it had only barked at Harry, as if asking for more.  
  
Tom who didn’t need to eat anything had remained inside the diary, even though he could follow everything that was happening a bit because of the bond he had with Harry.  The dog’s reactions were strange and Tom didn’t doubt his instinct anymore.  
  
Xenophilius had put some blankets on the floor, giving the dog a place to sleep that night, since Harry and Luna had grown fond of the stray.  
  
It was only when Harry entered the guest bedroom that was his now that he realised he had not gotten anything from Tom.  
  
“Because I wanted to give it you when it was just the two of us.” Tom’s voice sounded behind him, making Harry turn around and his mouth formed a small ‘o’. Tom stretched out his hand and a small box wrapped in green appeared in his hand. “Happy birthday, Harry.” Tom said as he handed him the small box.  
  
It felt strange. This wasn’t the first time that Tom had giving someone a birthday present, but somehow this was the first time that he meant it without any ulterior motive… Well that was not completely true, but still.  
  
“Thanks, Tom.” Harry said as he opened his present with a smile. He was happy that Tom had not forgotten and that he got something from the elder teen.  
  
Harry eyed the vial with the strange orange liquid inside it. “What is it?” Harry asked. Even though he was terrible at potions, he couldn’t remember every seeing this particular potion.  
  
“An eye correcting potion.” Tom replied as he grabbed the vial from Harry’s hand and with his other hand he removed Harry’s glasses. Those green eyes blinked, most likely not seeing much anymore.  
  
“Tilt your head back a bit, I will apply three drops in your eyes,” Tom said and Harry did so. Tom carefully opened the vial and grabbed Harry’s chin gently. “Keep still, it might burn a bit.”  
  
Harry gave a small nod and prepared himself for it. When the first drop fell into his left eyes he let out a pained hiss and he shut his eyes immediately. “Try to keep them open.” Tom warned him and Harry braced himself for more pain as he forced them open again.  
  
His eyes watered when Tom finally finished and Harry felt the tears run over his cheeks. “That hurts…” Harry groaned out, but Tom had said he could not touch his eyes for at least a few minutes, to make sure that the potion would work.  
  
“I heard it does, but just bite through it.” Tom said softly and Harry felt a hand on top of his shoulder as it guided him towards the bed.  
  
Harry carefully sat down and kept his eyes closed. “Today was a great day.” He whispered softly, hoping that talking a bit would take his mind of the awful stinging pain in his eyes.  
  
Tom hummed. “I think you enjoyed yourself quite well.” He said softly.  
  
Harry smiled and nodded. “You know I never celebrated my birthday, so this was the first time. I just kind of wished that I could have all my friends here.” Harry ended in a softer and sadder tone.  
  
“I never celebrated my birthday either,” Tom whispered. Harry’s head shot up, but he didn’t open his eyes, even though he wanted to see Tom’s expressions at this point. “We did get an extra apple or something, but that is it. The orphanage couldn’t spare much more. And at Hogwarts….” Tom’s voice grew softer, until he kept silent.  
  
“At Hogwarts?” Harry pushed him on, hoping that the other would continue.  
  
“I guess I never had any friends. I did give presents to those who I felt I needed, but it was nothing like you did with Luna. Or any of your other friends.”  
  
To hear Tom admit something like that broke Harry’s heart and he moved his hand, until he felt he touched Tom’s leg. He couldn’t see and he wanted to grab Tom’s hand, but it seemed like the elder teen realised as a hand touched his own and Harry intertwined their fingers. “I would say I’m sorry, but I know those words won’t change anything. This year Tom, we are gonna celebrate your birthday.” Harry promised him.  
  
Harry didn’t see Tom’s expression but if he did he would have seen that the other was shocked. “There is no need.” Tom said softly.  
  
“Of course there is!” Harry exclaimed. “I am going to buy you the best gift ever.” Even though Harry said that with a big smile, he honestly had no idea what to buy for the other wizard and he already started thinking.  
  
This only made Tom laugh and Harry was shocked at the sound. He had never heard Tom laugh before and he opened his eyes, even though Tom had not told him it was safe for him to open them.  
  
The sight in front of him was the best thing of the day that was the only thing that Harry could think when he saw Tom laughing. Tom’s eyes were closed and his mouth was open in a soft laugh that was pleasant and warm. His face was relaxed and Harry felt Tom’s grip on his hand tighten a bit.  
  
When Tom stopped laughing and looked up with a smile that clearly reached his dark eyes, his expression froze upon seeing those green eyes stare at him in wonder.  
  
Harry also froze when their eyes met. Tom shifted and raised his free hand as he moved his thumb and removed the tears stains from Harry’s face. It was then that Harry realised he was seeing clear without his glasses and a soft smile appear on his face. “I can see…” He muttered softly.  
  
Tom’s lips curved upwards. “Like you should. You shouldn’t need to hide your beautiful eyes, Harry.”  
  
Harry smiled at these words. “Thank you, Tom.”  
  
Tom gave a small nod as he finished erasing all those tear stains. “Go to sleep, Harry.” He whispered softly and faded away.  
  
That night Harry slept even better than he had before and he didn’t feel his magic draining a bit. The next morning the black dog was gone and Xenophilius had said it must have left somehow during the night, since the front door was open. When Harry had glanced at Luna the girl just nodded and said her father must be right.  
  
“Don’t worry about him, Harry. I think the dog can take care of himself.” Luna had added afterwards. Though even then Harry couldn’t help feel sad at the sudden departure. Tom had kept quiet about it all and one moment when Harry had been in the front yard Luna’s eyes had travelled to Tom.  
  
Even then the young Dark Lord didn’t say anything. He just looked at her with a questioning gaze, until she walked away.  
  
Tom thought that the girl was going to help Harry find the dog. He didn’t expect to get a book dropped on the couch next to him and he looked up at her.  
  
Her lips turned slightly upwards in a small smile. “Read that book.” She informed him and left, leaving Tom behind, seething that once again she thought she could order him around.  
  
Yet he was curious and picked up the book. The cover read: ‘ _Reincarnation of the souls.’_  
  
Tom stared at the book and then looked up, but only Xenophilius was still inside, who looked at him. Then a smile appeared on the blonde’s wizard’s face. “From what I learned her advice is often well-meant, even if you don’t know it yet.”  
  
Tom just looked down at the book in his hand once more. He had a feeling what she was implying with this… but could it be? Tom heard Harry’s voice still calling out, hoping that the dog would come back. Yet Tom knew the dog wouldn’t return here anytime soon. So he ignored it all as he opened the book and started reading.


	16. Dementors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom speaks to Sirius and the end of the summer vacation. Harry’s years starts with the meeting of the dark creatures called Dementors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter. 
> 
> I am aware this update is later than normal… So I shall explain.  
> Currently I am also working on the fanfic for the Tomarry Dark Spring Exchange and since I have a deadline with that fic… Most of my time will go in writing that. 
> 
> So for that reason this update was late and is rather short T.T. I am very sorry about that! But know that I am at least still out there and working on it all :)! 
> 
> So hope you all enjoy! And all mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> And cya next update :)!

### Chapter 15: Dementors

Tom silently appeared in the living room and looked down at the sleeping dog. He raised his hand, using as less magic as possible. The animal’s eyes snapped open as the body shifted and Tom looked at the ragged male. Black matted hair and a filthy beard, yet those eyes glared up at him in shock and distrust. He could recognize the flight or fight response.  
  
Tom’s lips curved upwards. “Sirius Black… what a nice surprise.”  
  
The male shifted, keeping his eyes on Tom. “How?” The voice sounded rough and unused, most likely because of the years spent in prison.  
  
“You may be able to fool the others, but I am not that stupid. What do you want and why are you here?” Tom asked in return. His voice now cold and devoid from any emotion. He couldn’t help but remember how fixated the dog had been on Harry.  
  
“You’re a friend of Harry, right?” Sirius asked as he got up from the ground and stared at him. Tom could see the insane gleam in his eyes that reminded him of the Black family.  
  
“I ask the questions here.” Tom stated as he moved his hand a bit and ropes appeared out of nowhere, wrapping themselves around the murderer. “Why are you here?” Tom repeated more slowly this time as he stepped forward and glared at the other male.  
  
If this man proved to be a threat to Harry, Tom would dispose of him somehow. Even though Harry had liked the dog, but Harry had not known who it was. “For Harry… I… wanted, no needed to see if he was alright. And I need to get that stupid rat that betrayed us all.” Sirius yelled furiously and Tom had quickly put a silencing charm around them.  
  
He could feel Harry’s magic been drained more and he knew even now he could not do much without draining the other completely. The bond between them was still weaker than the bond he had built up with Ginny and it was to be expected since he had far more time to control and weakening that foolish girl.  
  
“You wanted to see if Harry was alright? You are a murderer? What are you to him?” Tom asked, knowing there was a reason why Sirius had come here.  
  
“His godfather…” Sirius replied. “I answered your questions, now release me!” Sirius snapped as he finally started struggling, but the ropes only tightened as Tom narrowed his eyes.  
  
“Godfather? Who did you kill?” Tom snarled as he remembered that Sirius Black was a convicted murderer.  
  
Sirius glared back at him. “I didn’t kill anyone! That stupid rat did!” Sirius was struggling almost desperately and kept on screaming about that rat.  
  
Tom glared and pulled the male’s head back by his hair, looking straight into those eyes he moved quickly through all different kind of memories, finding only those which were about Harry.  
  
Sirius hadn’t lied when he had said that he was Harry’s godfather and Tom left the other’s mind as he now realised why he had escaped Azkaban.  
  
The male dropped to his knees and panted as he tried to recover and Tom stared down at him, wondering what to do with this information. And of course what to do with Sirius Black… It was clear that he formed no real threat. Tom sighed and carded a hand through his hair. The spells he could use right now were limited, because he could feel that Harry’s magic had drained a lot and Harry might notice it.  
  
It was a good thing that Harry didn’t feel it right now, since he was asleep. Otherwise Tom would have never been able to do this. Tom closed his eyes, quickly making up his mind.  
  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Harry could not believe when the summer ended. It had been so much fun and he had never been this carefree before. When he met Ron and Hermione at Diagon Alley he had been forced to go to the Burrow, like he did the summer before. Luna had said that they would keep in contact however so he was glad about that.  
  
Normally he would have enjoyed this, since it meant he would be free from the Dursleys, but this time it was different and he was simply not allowed to tell them that he was free from them.  
  
Still he quite enjoyed catching up to them in real life again. Hermione had even bought a cat, which sadly ended in some fights between Ron and Hermione. Because Crookshanks, Hermione’s cat, had hunted down Scabbers several times. Hermione had just said it was in the cat’s nature to hunt, so Ron shouldn’t whine.  
  
Harry could understand both of them and decided to not choose a side on this. He had enough on his own mind at times as he remembers a conversation he had with Tom before they left for Diagon Alley.  
  
**-Flashback-**  
Harry just lay down in his bed as he sighed and shifted to his side. “Harry.” Tom’s voice sounded in the darkness and then a small light illuminated the room, coming from Tom’s hand. Harry sat up and looked at Tom who sat down at the edge of the bed. “Can I talk to you?”  
  
Harry frowned; he could not remember Tom ever sounding so… unsure. “Of course.” Harry said as he sat up straighter, facing the other wizard.  
  
“Do you believe in reincarnation?” Tom asked as he looked away and Harry knew the other’s mind must be far away.  
  
“Reincarnation? Like that souls continue on living somehow right?” Harry asked to be sure and Tom gave a nod, still not facing him.  
  
“I don’t know. Honestly… I never really thought about it.” Harry replied as he started to think about it. Tom hummed and raised his hand as a book appeared out of nowhere. He placed it next to him and Harry picked it up, still looking at Tom, whose gaze was fixed on the door.  
  
Then his eyes went towards the book, reading the cover. “Reincarnation of the soul?” Harry asked softly. He could not remember Tom bringing this book from the library that day and he would know, since he had seen Tom with a lot of books about angels, but nothing about reincarnation.  
  
“Where did you get this?” Harry asked even though he already suspected that it came from Luna.  
  
“Luna…” Tom replied, confirming his suspicion. Harry looked back up, but Tom still wouldn’t meet his eyes and it felt strange…  
  
“Is something wrong, Tom?” Harry asked softly as he placed the book on his bedside table and shifted closer to the other wizard.  
  
Tom tensed and Harry frowned at the other’s reaction. Tom didn’t reply, but somehow Harry could see sadness in those dark eyes. Harry once more had a feeling that many words were left unsaid as Tom finally looked at him.  
  
The sadness that Harry had seen quickly faded and Tom’s eyes became distant and cold. Tom shook his head. “No,” Tom said and Harry easily recognized the lie and frowned. “Go to sleep, Harry.” The elder teen said before Harry could even get one word out of his mouth.  
  
“Tom, if there is something bothering you, please tell me.” Harry said instead. Something had changed since they came here. At first Harry believed it could be partly jealousy that Tom was feeling, since Dumbledore had let him stay somewhere else, while he had forced Tom to return to the orphanage every summer.

But now Harry had a feeling there was something else on the other wizard’s mind. Tom stayed quiet while those dark eyes seemed to look deep into his eyes. “Read the book.” Tom ordered and then faded.  
  
Harry had resisted the urge to grab the diary and confront Tom once more. Green eyes trailed towards the book, wondering if it held the answers he wanted.  
  
**-End flashback-**  
  
Harry hadn’t any time to read the book yet, since the day after he meet with Hermione and Ron in Diagon Alley and he didn’t risk pulling it out when he stayed at the burrow, same for the diary. Tom had just said to him one day that it was alright and they would be able to talk when they got back to Hogwarts.  
  
Harry could do nothing but accept it, though it did bother him that Tom had become so distant towards him all of a sudden.  
  
“I must say, mate, I still need to get used to seeing you without glasses.” Ron said with a grin and Harry’s lips turned upwards in a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.  
  
“As do I.” Harry said. He could hardly say it was a gift from Tom Riddle and he had told them it was a gift from Luna instead. He told them about Luna Lovegood, a nice witch that he met during the summer and he would introduce them to her when they got back to Hogwarts.  
  
The days at the Burrow passed in a blur and Harry felt that he missed Tom’s presence more and more. So he was glad when they finally left for London and Hogwarts.  
  
It took some times before they finally found a free compartment in the train where a male was sleeping, so as silently and careful as possible they moved into the compartment and sat down.  
  
Harry only half listened as Ron once more complained that Hermione should keep her cat under control, as he regarded the brown-haired sleeping male. He could see some grey hairs in between the brown, yet at the same time Harry had a feeling that male wasn’t that old yet to become grey.  
  
As the train started moving Hermione started reading, Crookshanks sleeping on her lap. Ron was staring outside as was Harry. Harry had hoped he would have been able to catch Luna either on the train or on the platform. But sadly he hadn’t seen the blond girl anywhere.  
  
Harry frowned as he felt a cold settle in and the fog started to increase rapidly. “Strange weather…” Ron muttered, voicing his thoughts.  
  
Hermione lowered her book a bit and also glanced outside, her brow furred as she watched the strange mist.  
  
Without any warning at all the train came to a sudden halt and Harry fell forwards, almost in the stranger’s lap, but luckily he caught himself on time. He leaned back as he eyed the strange mist and Ron shrieked. “Oh god, I saw something moving out there!”  
  
Harry placed his hand on the glass as he also looked outside, but he could see nothing, yet he could feel how cold the glass window was and he pulled his hand back as he frowned. People’s voices could be heard as they stepped out of their compartments in confusion and Hermione also opened the door as she glanced outside. Coldness creeped into the compartment and Harry wanted to back away from it all. It felt horrifying.  
  
It felt as if the cold was draining all happiness from him. Hermione moved backwards and looked towards them. The cold increased and Harry’s eyes widened as he saw… something that he had never seen before.  
  
It was a cloaked creature, for it sure as couldn’t be human and Harry saw a rotten hand move up. Hermione yelled and slipped, falling backwards. Harry moved up and stood between the awful creature and Hermione.  
  
The rotten hand moved closer and Harry felt the cold embrace him completely. He heard a female voice scream and after that he knew nothing but darkness.  
  
As Harry woke up he saw the stranger sitting in front of him, the male extended his hand in which he held a piece of chocolate. “Eat up, you will feel better.” Harry silently accepted the candy, as he still felt cold, not just on the outside, but it was as if his whole being was cold. He realised he had most probably fainted…  
  
Harry looked towards Hermione and Ron, noticing that his friends were pale and shaken up as well. “What was that?” Harry questioned.  
  
“A dementor, they guard Azkaban. I suspect they were looking for Sirius Black.” The brown-haired male whispered as he looked outside and Harry noticed that the strange mist was still out there but it was a bit clearer, so now he could also clearly see dark figures moving there in the distant now.  
  
Harry suppressed a shiver and the male stood up. “I will be letting the conductor know that he can start the engine again,” Harry said nothing to him, but the male stopped in the doorway and glanced back over his shoulder. “Eat the chocolate I gave you, it isn’t poisoned and it will help.”  
  
Harry immediately took a small bite and he felt a bit of warmth returning in his body. He smiled up at the male. “Thank you.”  
  
“Are you alright?” Hermione asked worriedly.  
  
Harry frowned. “You didn’t faint?” Harry asked them and both shook their heads. “Did you hear a female scream then?”  
  
“No, no one screamed, mate,” Ron replied with a slight frown. “But I must say they are awful creatures.”   
  
Harry just gave a small nod as he looked outside, wondering if it had been just a dream. When they arrived and had the welcoming feast Harry quickly realised that he was the only one that had fainted and he was happy that his friends wouldn’t tell anyone. He felt embarrassed enough as it was.  
  
The stranger they had met in the train was introduced as professor Lupin, who was going to teach them DADA now. Harry already had a feeling that he was going to better than Lockhart, so he was glad about that.  
  
The bad news… the Dementors were stationed outside the gates of Hogwarts and they would remain there, until Sirius Black was caught. Harry had warily watched the creatures as he had stepped into the carriage, afraid that any of them would approach him and he would faint once again, but this time in front of many more students.   
  
Dumbledore advised them all to not approach the Dementors, because they were blind and could not distinguish the difference between a student or an escaped murderer. Harry believed it was pure madness to let such creatures protect the school…  
  
As the evening finally ended Harry was glad when he could grab the diary from his trunk, after making sure that everyone was asleep of course.  
  
But as he closed the curtains around his bed, Tom appeared on his bed in front of him, making Harry gasp in shock. The other wizard however moved his hand and then looked towards Harry.  
  
“Are you alright?” Tom asked him and when Harry didn’t reply, he explained himself softly. “Don’t worry, no one can hear us. I spelled privacy wards around your bed.”  
  
Harry relaxed. “Tom... what happened out there? Why did those creatures affect me so much, while others merely felt unhappy?” Harry asked, wondering why it was so different for him.  
  
Tom sighed and leaned back a bed, his legs crossed underneath him. “Dementors are creatures that live off from people’s happiness; basically they drain every happy memory from a person, until there is nothing left. In the end people go insane from just having their worst experiences in their mind and they are also capable of removing a person’s soul out of their body completely.”  
  
Harry stiffened at those words and his eyes were wide in shock and fear. “If that professor hadn’t acted, you would have lost your soul…” Tom said softly and Harry noted that Tom seemed lost, those eyes held a certain sadness once again.  
  
“I would have died.” Harry muttered.  
  
Tom shook his head. “No, it will have been much worse than death… you will be nothing more than an empty shell and your soul will be forever… lost.”  
  
Harry looked down at the diary which was lying in between them now. It sounded awful and Harry couldn’t even comprehend how that must feel.  Tom moved forward and embraced him carefully.  
  
“You’re alright, that is all that matters right now.” Tom whispered into those dark locks of hair. Harry wondered if Tom wanted to reassure him or himself.  
  
But Harry just nodded as he also placed his arms around Tom, feeling safe and protected he closed his eyes as he laid back down, pulling Tom with him. Tom let out a small sound and Harry just sighed as he tightened his hold on the other wizard. “Please… stay with me, at least till I fall asleep.” Harry whispered softly against Tom’s chest.  
  
Tom opened his mouth, knowing that this wasn’t wise, but he couldn’t get the words out to deny Harry. Instead he gave a small nod and he felt how Harry relaxed completely. “Thank you, Tom.”


	17. A Mother’s scream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry’s third year at Hogwarts; Luna gives Harry more information and a Quidditch match that messes everything up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter, just finished and read through it, but there might still be some mistakes I overlooked...  
> And once again this update is late and short… Sorry about that. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy anyway!  
> And all mistakes are still my own!! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^!!  
> And cya next update ^-^!!

### Chapter 16: A Mother’s scream

Harry had been utterly hurt and angry when he heard how Luna had been treated and how people looked at her. He would never forget that moment when he introduced Luna to Ron and Hermione, only for Ginny to hear it.  
  
‘ _Loony Lovegood._ ’ That is what Luna’s year-mates called her and it reminded Harry far too much of the word _‘freak’_ that was so often thrown towards him in the past and even still when he had lived with the Dursleys.  
  
He had been angered that people did not seem to realise how much damage words could do, yet Luna had shrugged and smiled at him, saying that she didn’t mind it. Because she knew she was different and accepted it, though she also admitted that it was quite nice of him to stand up for her.  
  
At first Ron, Hermione, and even Ginny when she was also there, didn’t know how to treat Luna and her strange antics. Hermione said that it was simply… weird to wear buttercups as a necklace, no matter the reason. They also found her quite strange when she gazed towards a place where nothing was visible.  
  
Harry knew that moments like that Luna might just be looking at either an angel or something else that was invisible for their eyes at least. He didn’t explain this to his friends however, since he had no idea how they would react to it and Tom advised him to keep quiet about it as well.  
  
Just like that the months passed and soon it would be Halloween, which Harry already dreaded. The previous 2 years taught him that something awful always happened on this day. First they had a Quidditch match against Hufflepuff though and this year was more stressful than his previous two years, considering the many courses they could choose.  
  
Harry was glad that he did find some time to read the book that Tom handed him, because it felt important. Luna had said that it was wise of him to read it, open-mindedly. When he finally read completely through it Tom had asked him what he thought about it and the possibilities of it all.  
  
Harry had reasoned that it could be that when their bodies died, their souls would live on and reincarnate again. But there was also a chapter that was about souls that were still bound to the earth, reminding Harry of Nearly headless Nick and the other Hogwarts ghosts.  
  
Some souls weren’t willing to pass on because they didn’t want to let go of something that was on earth, whether it was an object or a person. Those souls could pass on when the other person passes on or somehow they get freed from the object by some kind of cleansing ritual.  
  
Harry found it quite sad that souls remained bound in this way and when he told Luna that, her silvery eyes became sad at his words. He would most probably never forget that conversation with her. Her words might haunt him for the rest of his life…  
  
_‘Harry… your mother and father are still with you, they never left.’_  
  
That evening Harry cried himself to sleep, while Tom held him.  
  
Harry had a feeling that the other wizard had been uncomfortable with it, yet Tom had just held him tightly, while he cried against the hard chest, until he eventually fell asleep.  
  
To know that even now, years after their deaths, his father and mother were still with him, unwilling to truly cross over. It hurt him to know that… Luna had said softly that his mother had told her, that she would always watch over him. Always…  
  
It should be great; instead it felt like Harry’s heart was dying because of it. James and Lily’s souls were bound to him and they would most likely remain till he died.  
  
The other thing that Harry learned and he believed that this information was far more important, and not so hurtful, so he focused more on this. He read about angels, guardian angels especially.      
  
There was a chapter about them and the more Harry read, the more he felt that Luna was right. Angels always watched over them as well. Harry finally felt like he could kind of understand Tom’s obsession with it.  
  
But when he spoke with Tom about it, Tom had shaken his head, saying it was different with him. Yet he didn’t elaborate on it and it left Harry guessing about why it was different.  
  
When he had asked, Tom had seemed to struggle with something, but eventually replied that he was not willing to tell him that yet. Maybe some time in the future however.  
  
Harry had no other choice than to let it rest, knowing that pushing Tom into telling him wasn’t the right way to go.    
  
What he did learn about guardian angels however was that it could quite possible be someone you knew in a previous life or lives. They were chosen specially for someone, because their souls had lived many more lives together and were often close, even the word Soulmate fell.  
  
The one person who could complete you, the other half of your soul. For Harry it sounded like some fairy-tale. Your one true love, it sounded like some kind of movie, where in the end two people always ended up together against all odds.  
  
Strangely enough Harry had asked Tom whether he believed in soulmates yes or no. Tom had shrugged and looked at him, before replying softly. _‘It might be true…’_  
  
Though Harry had noted how hesitant Tom had sounded back then. Harry was feeling worried and had often asked Tom if he was alright, to which Tom always replied that he was fine and that Harry should just focus on his studies.  
  
Tom was right about that of course… he had no fucking idea how Hermione kept up with it all. Ron had said she must have some kind of secret and Tom had actually chuckled when Harry asked him if he had any idea how she did those things.  
  
“There is a lot to magic that you still don’t know Harry. There is only one way how she could be at different places in the same time.” Harry had frowned at his words, because at least few of her classes indeed were at the same time, making it unable to be there for all three of them at the same time.  
  
Tom’s lips had turned upwards. “A time-turner.” And after that Tom had explained what a time-turner was and what it could do. Basically it could turn back time and Harry had been awed and shocked that something like that was possible.  
  
For Harry it explained a lot and when he looked for the obvious signs he saw them. Tom had told him that she most likely wore it on her, during all times.  
  
Harry had quickly noticed a kind of hourglass pendant she wore underneath her robes, when she had slipped it underneath them one day. She had smiled a bit at him, her look slightly uncertain, but Harry returned her smile and she looked relieved. Harry reasoned that she wasn’t allowed to let anyone know about her using something like that.  
  
Basically the past months had been some kind of hell and a big learning experience for Harry. And during this all he had also been busy with Quidditch trainings. It seemed like Oliver Wood wanted to win the cup this year, since it was his last year at Hogwarts Harry couldn’t blame him, but with everything else also Harry had little time to spare and often ended up being tired and sleeping in early, missing his talks with Tom.  
  
Tom had said he didn’t mind it and that Harry should just focus on his studies and Quidditch. Yet Harry felt guilty at times when he quickly fell asleep after he closed the curtains around his bed and Tom didn’t appear, because Tom had said he needed his sleep as well.  
  
Ron’s rat Scabbers had disappeared as well, making the red-head furious at Hermione, blaming her stupid cat for it. There was some tension between them, but Harry had mended it by saying to Ron, that he didn’t know for sure that it was because of Crookshanks, so he couldn’t blame Hermione or her cat. They would simply watch out for the small rat. Even though his two friends rarely spoke, they at least didn’t scream at each other anymore, which meant that it was going in the right direction.  
  
When the first Quidditch match finally came around against Hufflepuff Harry felt more than ready, despite that Oliver said that they weren’t ready at all and that they should have trained more. All the other members had just sighed and Harry smiled slightly, kind of used to Oliver’s antics now.  
  
The only downside was the awful weather as Harry placed his goggles on to keep his eyes protected from the heavy rain. He was grateful that at least his glasses weren’t in the way and he let out a deep breath as the door opened and the whole Gryffindor team flied out.  
  
In just a matter of seconds Harry felt the coldness around him from the wet rain and he shook his head. There was no way this would be an easy win like this. Oliver had advised him to find and catch the snitch as quickly as possible, so he just aimed to that.  
  
He glanced up and noticed that Luna was sitting next to Ron, Hermione and Ginny in the Gryffindor stand and he smiled at them. He was glad that his friends had finally accepted Luna a bit more and the blonde girl was now easily welcomed in their little group.  
  
Harry focused on madam Hooch and the captains as they promised a fair fight. Soon after the snitch was freed and Harry tried to keep his eyes on it, but soon lost it and then the match started.  
  
Harry kept moving, hoping to catch a small yellow flicker; he noticed that the Hufflepuff seeker was often looking at him, most likely trying to see if he had seen the snitch.  
  
Yet Harry had no luck and the first goal was made by Gryffindor, soon followed by two more. Harry gritted his teeth against the cold and he circled over the field once more. He wanted to have a really hot shower when this match was finished.  
  
After some time Harry saw a flicked to his left and he focused and saw the snitch moving quickly towards the Slytherin stands. He went after it as quickly as possible and he heard the announcer say that Harry Potter had seen the snitch. So Harry wasn’t surprised when he heard a broom speeding close behind him all of a sudden.  
  
He took one glance over his shoulder seeing the other seeker following up behind him. He ducked down further on his broom as he sped up. The new broom he got from Luna and her father had an average speed, but Harry knew just how to increase that. It simply came natural to him.  
  
He took a sharp right turn when the snitch went down and right. Vaguely in the distance he could hear the crowd roaring and screaming, but his focus was completely on the snitch.  
  
The small gold ball was nearing the ground now, yet Harry didn’t slow down in the slightest and wasn’t even surprised when the ball took a sharp turn upwards. Harry just flied straight after it.  
  
He felt the coldness increase the higher he got and then a strange mist settling in and green eyes widened as he could see his breath all of a sudden. He recognized this awful feeling and dread filled his body, as he glanced around. Dementors…  
  
Quickly he made his decision and dived down, but one of the creatures swiftly moved and Harry saw him too late, as he almost collided against the Dementor. He swiftly evaded him, but his breath hitched as the whole sky seemed to be filled with the dark creatures.  
  
It was cold and he could hear a female screaming, but he could also hear something else. He felt a body behind his and two hands placed over his. “Go down!” A voice screamed.  
  
Harry felt… Tom, it had to be Tom… take control of the broom, but there were too many as they blocked their way down. Harry closed his eyes, feeling afraid and cold. The female’s screams increased, turning into words. _‘No, please I beg you. Kill me, but please don’t kill him.’_ Harry couldn’t focus anymore. The screaming sounding far too loud inside his mind.   __  
  
“Harry focus!” Tom’s voice screamed, but it sounded far away and Harry shook his head, keeping his eyes tightly shut as if he could somehow ignore this all. But the female sounded so distressed and Harry just knew she was crying and his heart ached, even though he didn’t understand why.  
  
His hands glided from his broom and he felt like he was falling a bit, but strong arms caged him in keeping him from falling as the broom moved in all kinds of directions. Harry only thought about how awful Tom was at riding a broom and it should have been funny, but it wasn’t. The whole situation was awful…  
  
Tom took a sharp turn and Harry felt himself slide off the side of the broom underneath Tom’s arm. “Fuck!” Tom cursed and Harry felt a hand grab his arm tightly and he felt a pain go through his shoulder, but it felt distant, like everything else.  
  
Harry was barely hanging on and felt a pain in his shoulder. Vaguely aware that Tom’s tight grip on his arm was the only thing keeping him from falling down and he opened his eyes. The first thing Harry saw were the dementors gliding towards them and Tom’s eyes were wide and terrified. “Get up and focus!” Tom yelled at him, but he couldn’t focus as the other tried to pull him up.  
  
The female’s cries were messing up his mind and he shook his head. She was hurting and somehow it was hurting him. Harry felt Tom’s grip slip and he saw how Tom gritted his teeth and tried to pull him up.  
  
All the while Tom also tried to steer away from the dementors, but wasn’t succeeding. Harry knew that Tom couldn’t go lower either… everyone would see him and Harry would need to explain a lot then, because Ginny would recognize Tom without a doubt.  
  
Tom was only thinking about how Dumbledore would react, without a doubt the headmaster would realise that Harry had the diary and it would all be over… He once again attempted to pull Harry up, but it was impossible and this time Harry’s sleeve ripped apart, making Tom lose his grip completely.  
  
Harry fell and he saw Tom’s gaze look down upon him, those dark eyes wide and full of what Harry recognized as fear. The dementors quickly moved after him and the female’s screams increased once again as they got closer. _‘Please, not my son! Not my dear Harry!’_ Harry saw Tom move after him, but then stopped mid-flight in shock and Harry wondered if Tom had also heard the scream of his mother…  
  
Green eyes widened in shock as well before they closed in defeat. “Mom…” Harry whispered as he blacked out completely.  
  
When Harry woke he was lying in a bed inside the infirmary. The place so familiar that he immediately recognized it even though it was dark and was most likely night. He was so focused on his surroundings that the sudden hug came as a surprise. He gasped in shock, but relaxed when he felt it was only Tom.  
  
“Tom…” Harry said softly, but the other shook his head and the grip tightened. Harry carefully placed his arm around Tom, feeling that he couldn’t move the other as it was bandaged against his chest. “Are you alright?”  
  
Tom let out a broken laugh. “Foolish boy… I should be asking you that question.” Tom’s voice sounded strained and Harry pulled back, wanting to look at Tom’s face. Tom also pulled back, but kept his eyes closed.  
  
“Open your eyes…” Harry whispered. He wanted to see those eyes, those eyes that had looked down at him full with fear. Fear of losing him, because Tom had tried everything to stop him from falling when Harry became unable to ride his broom, since the dementors influenced him too much.  
  
Harry felt his breath leave him as Tom opened his eyes and those dark eyes looked at him. Tom shook his head, eyes narrowing. “Do you have any idea what you are doing to me!?” Tom hissed, becoming angry all of a sudden.  
  
“No…” Harry replied softly. In his mind he could still hear his mother’s screams and he looked away, knowing that Tom… No, Voldemort killed her, while she had pleaded him not to kill her son. Apparently Voldemort had denied her and tried to kill them both, but failed when the killing curse rebounded on him.  
  
Harry knew he could say the same to Tom. A part of Tom had eventually ended up killing his mother and father, leaving him an orphan. He should hate the other, yet he had never felt anything like hatred or anger towards him and now it infuriated him.  
  
Tom laughed, but it sounded cold and hollow. “You hear your mother scream and only now you realise it all.”  
  
Harry had been trying to deny it to himself. That Tom, this person in front of him was capable of murder, and had murdered his parents. Two people he had never known, only seen in pictures and inside the mirror in his first year. Yet his mother’s screams made it so much more real. She had existed and she had cried out, while trying to protect him.  
  
Hearing her desperate screams made it so much more real and Harry couldn’t deny it anymore… Especially not after Luna had told him that his parents’ were still with him, even now…  
  
All this time denying had been so easy, because Tom was nice, helpful and charming and Harry had always felt this intense need to protect him, even now he still feels that. But he knew deep down that Tom, Voldemort, had killed his parents, but he had giving it a place, until now.  
  
Harry felt Tom move his hand and he looked up when the hand was placed on his throat and tightened. Inside Tom’s eyes he could see a battle that was going on deep inside of the other wizard.  
  
“I should have killed you…” Tom whispered and Harry’s eyes turned sad, making Tom’s grip loosen a bit. “Why…. Why do you look so much like him? Why do you feel like him! You’re going to be the death of me! I should have killed you when we met! Just like I had planned!” Tom’s voice grew louder with every word until he screamed the last part.  
  
Harry felt Tom’s hand tremble and the other wizard closed his eyes as he let out a shaky breath. “I hate you…” Tom whispered in a sad tone. “Hate this… this power you have over me…” Tom lowered his head.  
  
For the first time it felt like Tom was laying out everything bare and Harry could not understand some of the things the other said. “Who do I remind you of…?” Harry asked him softly, not thinking he would get a reply at all. Tom stayed silent and Harry carefully placed his hand atop Tom’s which was still on his throat. Tom opened his eyes again and stared through his lashes at their hands. “Tom?”  
  
Blue eyes met green and Harry could see so much pain and sadness in those dark eyes. Tom opened his mouth and closed it with a small shake of his head. Harry felt worried, despite the anger he also felt towards Tom.  
  
His feelings were in conflict with each other and Tom also seemed messed up. “My guardian angel…” Tom replied and then he faded away, almost as if he had told him a secret and didn’t want to hear his reply, didn’t want to see his reaction. Harry sat there on the bed, staring at beds and the wall in front of him, barely acknowledge anything in his surroundings.  
  
His mind was reeling with the last words that Tom had said before fading away. ‘ _My guardian angel.’_


	18. Soulmates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy :)!  
> And all mistakes are still my own!! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^!! 
> 
> Honestly I was debating on whether I should put the first two scenes in it… but if I didn’t I would have needed to write more… So I just put them in here anyway. 
> 
> Anyway enjoy and cya next update :).

### Chapter 17: Soulmates

**Voldemort’s dreamscape:**  
“You know our last life together, Tom?” Hadrian asked with a soft smile, as he watched the wizard sitting next to him on the beach.  
  
Voldemort hummed and turned his gaze towards his angel. “No, but you are going to tell me.” Voldemort grinned a bit and Hadrian let out a small laugh. Both knowing that Tom was simply humouring him. The Dark Lord despite everything didn’t believe in reincarnation still.  
  
“I could keep it a secret…” Hadrian said softly with a small grin of his own, but then he let out a small sigh as he fixed his gaze upon the sea in front of them. “We were lovers, secret lovers. I remember being afraid that my wife would come in one day and catch us.”  
  
Voldemort’s eyes widened a bit. Lovers… even if Hadrian had said something like this before, that in one of their previous lives they had been lovers, suddenly he felt the intense need to know more about it. He was still a bit hesitant to believe much about reincarnation, and Hadrian was aware of that. And because of that they had not brought it up that often.    
  
Voldemort reasoned that Hadrian wanted to tell him something about it. “What happened?” He asked his angel.    
  
“My wife from then, Rosemary, she found out,” Hadrian said with a small shake of his head. Green eyes distant as if he was getting lost in memories long gone. “She killed me… Back then I believed I deserved it, for cheating on her. But honestly it was quite a sad end of my life.”  
  
Hadrian sighed and looked up at Voldemort. “You in turn became furious when you found my dead body and killed her. Afterwards you took your own life because you couldn’t bear to live without me.”  
  
Voldemort grew silent at those words as he looked deeply into those green eyes. He couldn’t bear the thought of taking his own life… only because he missed someone… Hadrian must be mistaken… Yet Voldemort saw that Hadrian wasn’t lying.  
  
“We truly loved each other, Tom. I think… that life was the best for both of us.” Hadrian whispered as he looked away, breaking their eye contact. “Disregarding the end then…”  
  
No words… Voldemort had no idea what to say and also looked towards the sea, feeling calm despite the mess inside his mind right now. The silence that stretched out between them didn’t feel awkward at all, so used to each other company they were now. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts as they sat next to each other on the beach.  
  
“I can’t even imagine it…” Voldemort muttered after some time. Hadrian didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. Hadrian was well aware of his fear of death. And despite knowing that Hadrian must have a reason for telling him this, he just couldn’t figure it out. “Why did you tell me?” He asked, breaking the silence again.  
  
“I don’t know. I felt like it.” Hadrian said with a small shrug as he faced the other, moving his hand a bit closer, but not touching Voldemort’s. Never touching and those red eyes stared down at their hands, so close yet so far away.  
  
If reincarnation existed and they had been lovers, then he would have touched Hadrian before. Even if he had no recollection of it all. “Is there a way to remember your previous lives?” Voldemort asked, meeting those green eyes, who seemed curious all of a sudden.  
  
“Not that I know of… I think a human mind isn’t capable of holding so many memories, Tom. It would destroy the person’s mind,” Hadrian whispered, still looking a bit thoughtful. “Please don’t do something so stupid.”    
  
Voldemort narrowed his eyes a bit in frustration. Whether it was frustration that Hadrian believed he would do something like that or frustration that he considered it, he didn’t know. “I am not a fool, Hadrian.”  
  
Hadrian sighed. “I know…” The conversation ended there and until the moment that Voldemort woke up again, the only sound they heard was the crashing of the waves.  
  
Voldemort’s desire to reach out and touch the angel sitting next to him felt devastating. So close, yet so far… And Hadrian’s words echoed through his head when he woke up. “Be nice, Tom, and don’t do anything stupid.”  
  
Hadrian knew him better than anyone else and he had gone beyond immortality, tearing his own soul apart. But to actually risk breaking his mind apart for memories which might not even be real…  
  
Yet at the same time the thought did cross his mind…     
  
**Year 1910:**  
Green eyes blinked slowly at the ceiling above them, fingers slowly trailing over his naked chest and stomach, up and down in soothing motions that made Lazarus’s body relax after the intense orgasm he just had.  
  
“Are you alright, Laz?” The young male asked next to him and green eyes looked towards the blonde-haired male. Lazarus smiled softly and gave a nod. Matthias smiled back, before it turned sad. “Your wife will be coming home this weekend, correct?”  
  
Lazarus moved his hand and cupped the others cheek lovingly. “Yes, Matthias.” He knew he shouldn’t make his voice sound sad, but he couldn’t help it. What he was doing was wrong. Matthias was younger than him and he was one of the workers inside his mansion. He was cheating on his wife and despite that he loved her, it wasn’t enough.  
  
There was something about Matthias that called him in and every time the younger worker approached him, Lazarus already found himself giving in. And Matthias was stubborn enough not to give up, despite that at first he had tried everything to keep his distance from the younger male. Matthias sighed deeply and lay down on his chest, while Lazarus moved his hand through those blonde locks that fell on his chest.  
  
This was wrong and a sin, to love someone of the same sex… He would be going to hell, yet it seemed like neither of them cared about those consequences anymore.  
  
“We can’t have each other…” Lazarus whispered softly. “No matter what we want.” The green eyed male placed a small kiss on the top of Matthias’s head. This was all they had; some days when his wife was gone to her family were the only moments that Lazarus felt alive. But even those days they had to be careful, it was a big risk they were taking.  
  
Lazarus already confessed his sins every day inside his own mind, but he couldn’t stop it now that he had giving in to Matthias’s advances. He loves Rosemary, his wife, but in truth he just loves Matthias so much more.  
  
“In another life, I will do anything to be with you.” Matthias whispered softly against the hard chest underneath him, placing a small kiss on the exact place where he could feel Lazarus’s heart beating.  
  
Lazarus let out a soft laugh at the younger's words. “We will be going to hell instead, Matthias. There is no saving grace for people like us.” There is only a burning inferno waiting for sinners like them.  
  
Matthias looked up, those dark eyes unreadable. “Since when is love a sin?” The young worker asked in return, making Lazarus frown.  
  
With a soft shake of his head Lazarus pulled Matthias in for a passionate kiss, as they pulled back Matthias gazed at him. “I feel like I have known you for so long, Laz. There is something more between us and you cannot deny this.”  
  
Lazarus’s lips turned upwards as he spoke, despite not believing his own words, he wanted to reassure his younger lover... “If we meet again Matt, then you better stay true to your words.”  
  
Matthias chuckled and leaned in for another kiss, as he shifted and put his own naked body atop Lazarus’s. “Always.” Matthias muttered in between the kisses that turned heated quickly. It wouldn’t be long till Rosemary returned and Matthias didn’t want to waste the time he could spend together with Lazarus, with his loved one. He hated that he had to share Laz with that stupid wife of him, for all he cared Rosemary could burn.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**Present time:**  
The first thing that Tom did when he appeared inside his diary was tearing the necklace from his throat and throwing the three stones against a stone wall.  
  
Inside the diary was an exact replica of the Chamber of Secrets and he was standing in the library now. The stones hit the wall and the ground with two small thuds and it did literally nothing to take away this anger and frustration.  
  
He didn’t know who he was angry with at this point. Dumbledore, for having those dark creatures guard the castle. Black, for escaping the prison and having those foul creatures search for him. Harry, for not being able to fight against those creatures.  
  
Or maybe he was angry at himself… for almost failing to protect him as well.  
  
The scene of Harry dangling beneath him so far above the ground was stuck inside his mind and Tom knew that without a doubt he would not forget it… ever.  
  
He let himself fall on his knees. What was Harry doing to him? What was this? He never cared for anyone else, never… But right from their first meeting it was different with the young boy; those green eyes had captured him, just like a few years ago.  
  
There was something about him that pulled Tom in and it scared him immensely. He looked down at his trembling hands and he was aware of tears gathering in his eyes.  
  
The last time he cried must have been when he was 13… But for some stupid reason he couldn’t stop the tears at this point.  
  
He crouched down, burying his head on his hands. He felt stupid and weak… All because of the fact that Harry could have died…  
  
He did care for him… he did care if Harry would die. He didn’t want Harry to die anymore. The words he said had been cruel and it only made him feel worse… But he couldn’t take them back, he only had said the awful truth…  
  
Tom tried to ignore that gnawing feeling, deep down inside of him. A feeling he never had before, but without a doubt he knew it was something akin to guilt. He wished he could take back those words, for he had seen and felt the impact they had on Harry…  
  
He wished and he knew he could take those words back… It would be so simple… He only needed to erase Harry’s memories, but even then when he thought about that, he felt more guilt.  
  
Tom needed to let it out… He needed… His hands lowered and his eyes hardened. He wanted to hear someone scream. To let go of everything and torture someone, to make them feel his pain and to stop this pain inside of him. Many reasons went through his mind, warning him not to do this, but they all sounded far too much like Harry and Tom ignored it all.  
  
 He needed this… To prove that he wasn’t weak and that he was still standing above them all. A crooked grin appeared on his face as he got up and walked out of the library into the Chamber of Secrets itself.  
  
Tom saw two heads shot up, looking towards him, both of them wary and the small scrawny looking male moved backwards in his cage, away from him. That stupid rat was perfect and he would enjoy every scream that he tore from the pitiful male…  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The weeks seemed to pass slower since he got into a fight with Tom. Ron and Hermione told him how Dumbledore had used a spell to save him from falling to his death and Ron informed him sadly that his broom had been destroyed as it had hit the whomping willow. He felt a bit sad that his gift from Luna and her father was gone, but Luna assured him that they would get him a new one. Maybe for Christmas.    
  
Harry however became lost in his own thoughts and it was only later on that he fully realised the impact of Tom’s words. Tom had been planning on killing him back then. It was an awful truth to know.  
  
Harry knew the only damn reason he was still alive was because he reminded Tom of his guardian angel. Somehow to know this all made it only worse and Harry felt numb, detached from it all.  
  
He had been foolish and felt stupid. In a way he had believed that they had become friends and he had grown to care a lot for the other wizard. Yet… it felt one-sided now.  
  
Tom didn’t see him, not really. Tom only saw his guardian angel and Harry had no idea why, but it broke his heart to realise this.  
  
He didn’t even fully care anymore that he had no permission slip to go to Hogsmeade and Hermione and Ron had been worried about his sudden mood change, but he couldn’t explain it without telling them the complete truth and he just couldn’t. His secrets were buried deep down inside of him, while he suffered all by himself.  
  
For he felt that this was something private, something between Tom and him. Harry had grabbed the diary from his trunk a few times during the weeks that passed by, only to close it again after not even writing one single word in it. He didn’t know what to say, what to write.  
  
And Tom hadn’t appeared again either. Maybe they both needed some time… Harry tried to assure himself… Hoping that Tom would appear one day and everything would be normal between them again.  
  
But as December came to an end, Harry knew that he couldn’t let this continue anymore, yet he felt reluctant about writing to Tom as well.  
  
Luna had not said anything either about it, but Harry had a feeling she knew nonetheless. Her eyes often watched him and in her gaze Harry could see the worry she tried, but failed to hide.  
  
“Harry, can I speak to you?” Luna asked him one day when the Christmas holidays had just started and most of the people were out to Hogsmeade.  
  
Harry had been planning to walk down into the chamber and remain there for a full day. He just felt like hiding away as well. He gave a small hesitant nod and she smiled softly as she walked up the stairs and Harry silently followed the blond girl.  
  
Though he did look confused at her when she walked through the same hallway three times and then turned to face a wall, which turned into a door. Green eyes widened as Luna opened the door and looked at him, silently inviting him to enter, which he did.  
  
The room held two couches and a table in between them, a fireplace close by that was lit and Harry saw that a kettle with two cups were standing on the small wooden table. “What is this room?” Harry asked as he didn’t remember ever seeing anything like this.   
  
“Room of Requirement, it changes to suit your needs.” Luna replied as she sat down on one couch and Harry made his way over to the other couch, sitting down and feeling how tense he actually was.  
  
“Harry…” Luna whispered softly as she leaned forward and poured both of them a cup of tea. “Tom and you need to talk….”  
  
Harry kept his eyes fixed on the cup in front of him, not wanting to look up at her. He didn’t want to admit that he missed Tom greatly. And even then he didn’t know how to start this conversation with Tom.  
  
There was much unsaid since their fight and Harry felt like Tom had been hurting as well.  
  
“If you two don’t work this out, it won’t end well… you need each other.” Luna whispered softly, but Harry still didn’t look up or acknowledge her words. His hands just turned into fists as he felt frustrated by this whole situation. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to Tom, but he was afraid…  
  
He was afraid of what Tom could say or do. He was afraid of being hurt by the other, which without a doubt would happen. It had already happened and it felt devastating.  
  
“Harry….” Luna whispered and finally he looked up, seeing the sorrow in her silvery eyes his fists only clenched tighter on top of his legs. “The angels tell me he is suffering as well and he needs you. If you can overcome this, you both will-…  
  
“Stop!” Harry screamed, closing his eyes as if it would help change this whole situation. As if he could completely and truly turn a blind eye to this all. He let out a deep sigh, which almost sounded like a sob. “I can’t…”  
  
Even if this Tom he knew had not killed his parents’ and tried to murder him years ago, they were the same… Harry felt the same urge to protect them both. There was no difference between them and Harry had been fooling himself. Tom and Voldemort were the same… He had been fooling himself…  
  
He heard footsteps and felt Luna sit down next to him. Silently the young blond put her arms on his shoulder and pulled him closer.  
  
The embrace was warm and Harry shook his head as finally all of his suppressed feelings came out. He started crying atop of her shoulder. Luna spoke softly after a little while when he had calmed down a bit. “Don’t be afraid of being hurt, they say. If you lose each other now… everything will be forever lost,” Harry bit his bottom lip and pulled back, seeing that Luna was serious, there was no smile on her face, nothing from the normally happy girl radiated happiness now.  
  
“I don’t know if I should be telling you this, Harry…” Luna muttered softly. “But I do not wish for either of you to lose,” Luna sighed as she closed her eyes. “You’re Tom’s last hope, Harry. You can truly save him, but if you abandon him,” Luna opened her eyes and Harry noticed the sadness in them. “He will completely lose himself… He will go mad and in his insanity he will destroy everything and everyone.”  
  
Harry shook his head, not knowing why him. Why did it have to be him? No one should have so much power over someone else. Yet here Luna was seeing that his mere presence could utterly destroy Tom and everything.  
  
Luna gave a small nod. “He lost you once. He lost Hadrian years ago, Harry.”  
  
Harry’s eyes widened as the name brought forth the memory from his first year. Those red eyes staring at him and that name being whispered so confused and in clear shock.  
  
He remembered asking Dumbledore about ‘ _Hadrian_ ’ and what the headmaster had said about the mysterious person. _‘There were certain speculations that Voldemort knew someone with the name Hadrian and that person disappeared sometime during Voldemort’s last years in power. Voldemort completely lost control and I daresay he become even more insane than he already was.’_  
  
“Hadrian…” Harry whispered the name softly. “It is the name of Tom’s guardian angel?” Harry asked her and Luna nodded.  
  
Voldemort had been in contact with the guardian angel. That was for certain. In his mind Harry could hear Tom’s last words. ‘ _My guardian angel_.’  
  
_‘There were whispers that he might have been Voldemort’s lover even, but no one ever saw this person. So in the end when Voldemort started accusing and blaming everyone around him of taking Hadrian away from him, there were just the mere whispers of a madman, Harry.’_  
  
Harry didn’t believe that Voldemort became so insane after losing Hadrian, but he was already putting all the pieces together…He hadn’t read much about guardian angels. That was something that Tom did. But he had read about reincarnation and the sudden disappearance of a guardian angel was strange.  
  
“Luna… Guardian angels are always with us, correct?” The blonde smiled softly and replied with a soft ‘ _yes_ ’. “Until we die?” Harry asked then.  
  
“Yes, until we die, they watch over us, Harry.” Luna replied, pulling back a bit, giving Harry back his personal space.  
  
Harry looked away, his gaze settling upon the kettle on the table. “Why did Hadrian disappear then?” Harry asked aloud.  
  
“I don’t know.” Luna whispered, as she stood up and sat down in the other couch once more, grabbing her cup and taking a small sip.  
  
Harry looked up at her, seeing her watching him back. She knew that he had put all the pieces together. “Reincarnation is real, as well, isn’t it?”  
  
Even though he asked the question, deep down he already knew the truth. It was real… Hadrian had disappeared and Harry had been born with the same soul. His soul had once protected Tom, watched over the other wizard for many years and then left…  
  
Harry couldn’t even begin to understand how painful it must have been for Tom to lose him… If what Dumbledore had said is true, Voldemort had truly gone insane...  
  
Silence filled the room as Harry’s eyes looked down at the table once more. “Harry, the angels told me that your soul and Tom’s go way back…” Luna said softly.  
  
Harry didn’t know whether he wanted to acknowledge her words at this point. For he knew what she was saying, even without using the right word. _‘Soulmates’_.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scenes with Lazarus and Matthias came to me when I was listening to a song on repeat while writing this chapter. ‘We can’t have each other…No matter what we want.’ And the sentence that Matthias says: ‘In another life, I will do anything to be with you.’ 
> 
> They actually came from the song: Don't Give Me Those Eyes by James Blunt and thanks to that song this idea came to mind.


	19. The walls we built around our heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom and Harry talk and Tom opens up to Harry a bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the next chapter. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy ^-^!!And all mistakes are still my own! 
> 
> And wow, I noticed we are past the 800 kudos now O.O. How the hell did that happen XD? I don’t even know what to say to that… other than thanks, thanks a lot!!! Thanks to everyone who left kudos, comments and so on!! 
> 
> Anyway enjoy and cya next update :)!

### Chapter 18: The walls built around our heart.

_‘Soulmates.’_

The word echoed through his mind and not only in his mind, but Harry’s mind as well. The one person who completes you. The perfect friend, companion and often even lover. Two halves of one whole soul split apart and only when they are together they feel complete.

Soul… He only had half of his own soul. He had ripped his soul apart to achieve immortality. He could not truly have a soulmate, now could he? It could not be true… and neither could Harry be his guardian angel.

Even though Tom denied this, deep down he knew it was true. Harry was somehow the reincarnation of his guardian angel. He could simply feel it, had always felt it. He had felt it since their very first meeting and denied it every time he looked at the younger boy.

Silently he appeared behind the couch where Harry was sitting. Luna’s eyes glanced up at him as she lowered the cup from her lips, then she looked back towards Harry and as if he wasn’t even standing there she spoke. “If you speak to each other honestly and open up to each other, you can both find true happiness. If you don’t, you will regret it immensely,” Luna said and she leaned forward, placing her cup on the table. “Think about this message that the angels left you.”

The blond girl stood up, not even looking at Tom and walked over to the door and left the room. Harry’s eyes were fixed on the table in front of him, still unaware of Tom’s presence behind him.

Both of them were lost in their own thoughts, as Tom stared at the younger wizard’s back. Harry shifted and buried his head in his hands with a sad sigh.

Luna’s words had not only been meant for Harry, Tom realised this all too well. The problem was… he had never truly spoken about his true feelings, to no one. To completely open yourself to another meant that you would be vulnerable, they would be able to learn your weaknesses and use it against you.

Meanwhile Harry was still trying to comprehend that he had been Tom’s guardian angel and that they were soulmates. It was a lot to take in, but Harry finally understood where his intense need to protect the other came from. As well as the feeling he had that he knew Tom before this all.

Harry lowered his hands and stared at the table with an empty gaze. Should he write to Tom…? If he didn’t, than he might regret it later on, if Luna’s words were true. But Harry knew the girl had no reason to lie to him about something like this.

“I’m not that good with feelings and stuff,” Harry’s eyes widened at the voice behind him and he quickly turned around on the couch, facing Tom, who stood there looking at him with a blank expression. “But I am willing to give it a try…” Tom added softly.

Harry opened his mouth as he stared in slight shock at the other, yet at the same time he felt happy to see Tom again, to hear that familiar voice again. Tom’s lips twitched slightly as if he trying to hold back a smile as well, as he moved forward and sat down next to him.

Harry felt tense and looked back towards the table. “You… heard that all?” He asked him.

“Yes… I was aware of everything happening to you.” Tom replied tensely.

Harry glanced sideways and saw that Tom’s gaze was also fixed on the table. Harry gritted his teeth, knowing that Tom should start, considering that he had a lot more to explain.

Yet the other wizard remained silent and it felt awkward, making Harry start to fidget, to which Tom sighed, clearly feeling irritated. “Ask me something, anything. I will answer it honestly.” Tom said, as he finally looked up at the stressed wizard next to him.

Harry looked up to Tom and had so many questions running through his mind that he honestly didn’t even know where to start. After a while he broke the tense silence, knowing that Tom was waiting for him to start. “You mentioned once that the one I met in my first year and you are different and that you had no knowledge of attacking my parents and me. How is that possible? You two are the same… I felt it.”

Harry saw how Tom’s hands tensed and those blue eyes darkened. “Because he is me… kind of. He is who I became in the future,” Tom said softly, wondering if he could avoid telling Harry about horcruxes… “I am a memory of his 16 year old self….” Tom said softly.

“A memory…” Harry muttered and looked away. As he thought about it made sense. Tom didn’t remember anything beyond his 16th year. He had said he had no idea why Voldemort had tried to kill him back then. “You ask me something.” Harry offered, knowing that maybe if you answered each other’s questions that it could help a bit.

Tom remained silent for a while as well, until he finally spoke, softly. “You believe in angels and reincarnation… do you truly believe that you were once my guardian angel..?”

Harry didn’t truly have to think about the question. Everything inside him screamed yes. So he replied, without even one doubt. “Yes, I do.”

Tom looked up at him, those dark eyes staring at him in wonder. “Why did you leave then?” Tom’s voice was soft and Harry could detect hurt inside it.

“I don’t know…” Harry muttered with a frown. “I don’t recall anything from that life, Tom. If I did I think I would have recognized you both.”

Tom gave a small nod in understanding. “Your turn.” He offered then.

Harry sighed and looked away, wondering what he could ask Tom more and if he might not ask too much, he knew Tom could easily shut him out. And that made him think. “Why did you shut me out at times?”

Harry didn’t need to look up to know that Tom tensed and he had the awful feeling that he crossed a line that he shouldn’t have crossed. “I guess…. Because you make me feel.” Tom replied a bit hesitant and unsure.

Harry looked up and frowned, not completely understanding Tom’s reply. “Make you feel?” He questioned.

Tom looked away from him and Harry stared at the back of his head, knowing he had crossed a line. He didn’t know what to say and he wanted to apologize when Tom spoke first. “If I felt something, it was often hurt, anger, hatred. In my eyes people treated me unfairly and I grew up hating them all. I only learned to use them, to use my charms to impress them and to hurt them if they did hurt me.” Tom sighed softly.

“But never did I feel comfortable near anyone; never did I feel safe near any of them. I always was wary, anyone could stab me in the back I thought,” Harry opened his mouth in shock at Tom’s words. It sounded like an awful way of living, to never fully trust anyone, to never open up to anyone at all. Tom turned his head and their eyes met. “It was different with you…” Tom added softly. “Your presence calms me… It makes me feel safe and protected and your intense need to protect me only intensifies these feelings.”

Harry started to understand. Tom had never felt like anyone cared about him, he had built walls all around him, protecting him from everyone and everything, never letting anyone in. “It must have been lonely.” Harry whispered as he looked at Tom’s expression closely.

Tom seemed confused and shook his head. “I didn’t care about loneliness, Harry. I only cared about power and I would do anything to achieve it. Feeling lonely was the last thing on my mind.”

“Power… Power will make you feel even more alone Tom.” Harry said, making the other wizard frown. “If you are the most powerful wizard alive, standing at the top of all of us, staring down at us,” Harry noticed that Tom’s eyes darkened at the mere thought. “It is lonely there. I don’t care for power, because with that power comes fame and that will bring loneliness. I already know that fame brings loneliness… and therefor I hate it.”

Tom looked away in thought and both remained silent. Harry scrapped his throat and shifted a bit, getting more comfortable, but not reaching out to Tom. He would wait this time until Tom would reach out to him instead. “Your turn.” Harry did say.

“Why are you so forgiven? Why do you not wish to hurt your relatives for hurting you?” Tom asked and his voice sounded a bit angry. Harry realised that he was angry for him and he didn’t quite know what to do with it. It felt a bit nice to know that Tom cared enough about him to be angry at his relatives for their treatment of him.

“I don’t know. I guess something inside me just tries to see the good in everyone, even if it is not fully in sight,” Harry explained as he looked away and leaned back a bit. He didn’t see Tom’s eyes trail towards him. “I don’t fully forgave them for everything, but I knew holding onto that anger I held for them was wrong. It felt like I was burning myself instead of them.” Harry let out a deep sigh and then continued in an even softer voice. “And hurting them, I couldn’t even imagine it. I knew what it felt like to be hurt and I didn’t wish it upon anyone else.”

“You’re too naïve…” Tom muttered softly. “Too nice, too good.”

Harry laughed softly and turned his head sideways, facing the other with a small smile that looked a bit sad. “Better than being too cruel.”

Tom grew silent and his eyes narrowed a bit. “What is wrong with being cruel? Those who have hurt me deserved to pay for it.”

Harry hummed softly. “Did you feel satisfied about it?” Tom thought back to Billy and then Amy and Denis, who had hurt and terrorized him for so long. His immediate reply was ‘yes’. “Think well about it.” Harry said softly, as if knowing his answer without him even saying it.

Tom shut his mouth, staring into those deep green eyes that only held understanding and compassion for him. At that point back then he did feel satisfied about it. Lashing out to them made them feel awful and it made him feel good, because finally they were hurting.

They were hurting… He caused them pain and hurt, even fear. Tom opened his mouth and Harry saw that he began to understand it. “You felt awful and in that way you lashed out at them for making you feel that way…” Harry whispered softly.

“In the end you made them feel exactly like you, or maybe worse. Did you enjoy being hurt, Tom?” Harry asked softly, to which Tom shook his head slowly and Harry gave a small nod as he continued softly. “I didn’t either… every time my uncle or aunt would hit me, I would think that I could never raise my hand towards anyone. Every time my cousin would say hurtful things, I reminded myself to think before I would speak hurtful words to anyone.”

Harry looked away and Tom stared at the other. “Strange… how alike, yet how different we are.” Tom muttered softy after a while. He could understand Harry's reasoning's... He hadn't enjoyed being hurt, or being scared. The fear he felt when he thought he was going to die was horrible and it was only then that he thought back to Denis and Amy inside the cave, their screams full of fear, while he had only laughed and enjoyed himself. They had been so scared, just like he had been scared of death... He had caused them to fear him...  
  
Same for everyone that crossed his path whenever he was angry or hurt… Tom’s thoughts trailed back to Black and Pettigrew and inwardly he sighed. Yet he didn’t feel guilty about what he had done.

Harry snorted softly, effectively bringing Tom’s attention away from those dark thoughts. “I think we could have easily swapped places. I decided not to hurt anyone, but you wanted to make them hurt.”

Harry finally understood what Luna meant by opening up to each other and being honest as well. He also thought back on what Luna had said in the summer holiday.  _‘Angels tell me that anger and hatred are like poison, but it is not the other person you are poisoning, it is yourself.’_

Harry had asked her more about it and Luna had explained how angels were pure beings and positive beings as well. Hatred and anger were such negative emotions that angels always tried to purify the humans from it, but it was difficult, because it were exactly those kinds of emotions that made sure angels could not speak or get through to the humans.

Anger would cloud their mind and poison them.

Tom also recalled that conversation between the two and he knew that Harry was also thinking back on it. “Luna has an agenda of her own at times,” Tom said, making Harry look up at him. “But I guess she has been helping us even when we didn’t fully knew it.”

Harry let out a genuine laugh at Tom’s words, which made Tom look up at the sound. When Harry stopped laughing he smiled, this time the smile did reach his eyes, making them seem so alive that Tom felt captured by those green eyes.

“Luna cares for us, Tom. She is trying to guide us. I think every word she says is important, even if we don’t fully know it yet.” Harry said with the smile still on his face. Luna had tried to push him and Tom to talk to each other again; she only meant well for both of them Harry was certain about that.

Tom’s lips turned upwards and he let out a small laugh. “True…”

Harry’s smile faded a bit, as both of them were more relaxed in each other’s company now. “Tom…” Tom felt the shift in Harry’s mood and bit back a sigh as he meet those green eyes. “I don’t understand what happened the night Voldemort killed my parents’, but I have met you and known you for some time now, even though I have a feeling I knew you before, and I guess I just want to say I don’t think you are that bad…” Harry knew he was rambling a bit, but it felt important to let the other know.

“If we meet him, what will you do?” Tom asked him, ignoring Harry’s words a bit, because he didn’t want to think about Harry’s words. He never had anyone say something like that to him, that he wasn’t bad, especially after realising that Harry knew how he was, at least kind of…  
  
Harry sighed and shook his head. “Honestly, I don’t know. He tried to kill me last time we met…” Harry muttered as he remembered his first year. “But he did whisper Hadrian; he must have somehow recognized me, Tom.”

Tom gave a small nod, also remembered seeing that inside Harry’s memories. “Yes… I believe he somehow got into contact with Hadrian…” Harry could hear that Tom sounded envious and he glanced up.

“You never got into contact with him?” Harry questioned him and Tom stiffened immediately. Harry watched how Tom’s expression became distant as if he was somewhere else all of a sudden and not here. “Tom?” Harry knew he had said to wait for Tom to reach out to him, but he felt like something was wrong and he gently placed his hand atop Tom’s.

Tom had said that he reminded him of his guardian angel, but now Harry had a terrible feeling all of a sudden. Tom’s eyes went down to their hands and he saw Tom relax slightly.

“I only ever saw him…” Tom muttered and Harry patiently waited for him to continue. “It was during the war. I think he saved my life…”

Harry felt shocked by Tom’s words. “How?” He asked as he inched closer to Tom, seeing the slight distress in Tom’s eyes.

Tom let out a broken chuckle. “It was war, what do you expect!?” Tom hissed out harshly. “People died every day… only to be forgotten the next…”

“Tom?” Harry gently asked him to continue explaining it and Tom shook his head as instead he turned sideways and pulled Harry forward, burying his head atop Harry’s shoulder.

“It was war, Harry… Food was scarce and bombs fell almost every night,” Tom muttered softly. “On our way to the shelter a sky attack started. Everyone was scared and it was pure chaos.”

Harry felt Tom move and shift closer, as if trying to get the terrible imagines out of his head. Harry placed his arms around the other, offering some comfort as Tom softly continued. “I was only 13 year back then…” Harry kept silent as Tom proceeded to tell about how they all ran, trying to survive, running for their lives, screaming and the blasts, the sound of the sirens wailing, the blood filling the streets, mangled and destroyed bodies.

Tom then said how he had fallen down, while a piece of a broken wall surged over him and how he had looked up, only to see something that was so surreal. He explained how the dark-haired angel’s presence had calmed him, even amidst the destruction, chaos and death.

And when he finished both were silent as Harry had tightened his embrace, making Tom only move closer again, as if attempting to move into him. Harry closed his eyes and just hugged him tighter; feeling as if what was what Tom needed the most right now.

And for Tom it felt like the comfort he craved and never received back when he truly needed it. It felt like he finally got it. He let out a deep sigh, wondering what could happen. He knew he hadn’t been completely honest with Harry, but he wondered how the other would react to the truth that he had destroyed his own soul for immortality. Somehow he had a feeling that Harry wouldn’t take that well. The silence was only broken by small sobs coming from the younger wizard and Tom remained silent.

“You’re safe now,” Harry whispered after a while through a small sob. “I can’t even imagine how it must have been, but you are safe now and I will do anything to protect you. Anything, Tom.”

Tom opened his eyes a bit and thought about pulling back, to see the look in Harry’s eyes, but he didn’t. He could already feel it; the wetness on his shoulder was proof enough that the other male was still crying, Harry had been crying atop of his shoulder.

The strangest part was that he was crying for him and Tom didn’t know how to even react to it. Because he could feel it through the connection between them. Harry was truly sad for what he had been through and how he had turned out.

“I keep thinking if only you had someone back then to help you… if only Hadrian could have gotten into contact with you sooner,” Harry still cried softly, as he spoke and Tom had a bit trouble of hearing him now. “You wouldn’t have turned out like Voldemort.”

Tom closed his eyes at the mere image of his other self living like a mere parasite on the back of someone’s head. How far had he truly fallen throughout the years? What had happened to change him so much? Had he succeeded in creating more horcruxes? He hated how he had looked and what he turned out to be... He hated his future self, even though he had made their dreams come true to become the strongest wizard alive, he hated it...

Tom had truly no idea what had happened to him throughout the years, but he did know that Harry was crying for him, and for his future self, and the only thing he could think about how he didn’t deserve this all. Voldemort had tried to kill Harry and he had been planning to kill him and had admitted this. Yet… Here Harry was crying for him and even forgave him for it all.

For everything he had, he found himself undeserving of this person holding him so tight. “I must tell you something…” Tom said after a while, when he felt Harry’s sobbing died down a bit.

Harry nodded silently and Tom pulled back, albeit reluctantly. He could at least do something right, couldn’t he…? Maybe then he would be a little bit deserving of him. A voice inside his mind supplied that he would never be worthy of Harry, no matter what he would do.

“What is it?” Harry asked him, as he removed his tears strains with his sleeve, looking a bit embarrassed at crying.

Tom only smiled softly, as he also wiped some tears away from those cheeks with his thumbs. “Remember that black dog that appeared by the Lovegood house?” Harry frowned, but nodded and so Tom continued. “It was an animagus. A wizard who has turned into an animal.” Green eyes widened a bit.

“You mean like professor McGonagall?” Harry asked.

“Yes, she is a cat, but this person can change into a black dog,” Tom said and then he sighed. “That black dog is Sirius Black.”

Harry stiffened and looked at Tom in pure shock and disbelief. “That murderer?” Harry couldn’t believe that the dog he had fed, played with and even liked a lot had been a murderer…

Tom shook his head. “No, he hasn’t killed anyone. He was set up and never received a trial as they threw him in prison.”

Harry frowned. “Meaning he was innocent then.” Harry stated and then he looked into Tom’s eyes, knowing there was something more. “What are you keeping from me?”

“I spoke to him and I had no idea what to do with the information I got from him. Harry, Sirius Black is your godfather.” Tom said.

“I have a godfather?” Harry asked shocked and then he shook his head. “This is a bit too much for one fucking evening…” Harry muttered then and Tom was silent for some time before he chuckled a bit.

“Agreed,” Tom said then. “Go get some sleep. We will talk when you wake up again.” Tom shifted a bit, but as he did the couch changed into a bed, shocking both males.

Harry laughed as his shock wore off. “Magic never ceases to amaze me.” He said as he shifted, laying down and pulling the blankets over him. He looked up at Tom, silently asking him what he would do now.

“You wish for me to stay?” Tom asked him instead and Harry gave a small nod. Tom smiled a bit and pulled the blankets up, shifting closer to Harry.

Harry smiled brightly as he put his arms around the other, placing his head atop Tom’s chest as the older teen lay down on his back. Harry felt Tom place his arms around him as well and he closed his eyes with a deep sigh.

“I care for you, Tom. I hope you realise this.” Harry muttered, already feeling a bit sleepy because of everything and ignoring the awful feeling he felt deep inside of him. Tom gently moved his hand over Harry’s back in slow soothing motions.

“I know…” Tom whispered softly. He did know, he could feel it and strange enough it didn’t bother him at all. Tom felt the moment when Harry had fallen asleep and he raised his hand, a small necklace appearing in it that he had thrown away weeks ago.

Blue eyes stared at the small rose stone.  _‘Love…’_  He eventually placed the necklace underneath the cushion, making Harry whine a bit at his movements, but the other didn’t wake up, making Tom smile softly.

He shifted Harry carefully, so the younger male was lying next to him and then he pulled Harry against his chest again, sighing softly into the black mop of hair. He never understood any kind of feelings. Love and friendship were a weakness, that is what he always firmly believed, but now he started to doubt it.

Because Harry loves everyone around him dearly, but still the young male was a very strong wizard, even if he didn’t know this. Yet Tom knew as well that there was a lot between them that needed to be spoken about. Because even though Harry hadn’t said anything about it, the young male had still felt the guilt for actually admitting that he cared for him. Harry felt that even for a tiny bit, he was betraying his parents’…

Tom didn’t know what he could do to make that right, Harry’s parents were dead and he couldn’t bring them back. He couldn’t undo the past or his future… But somehow if he could, he would make sure that he would have never raised his wand towards Lily and James Potter.

Tom wondered how Harry would react to meeting Sirius and to meet the one person who was responsible for his parents’ demise. Tom let out a sigh and closed his eyes, placing a small kiss on the top of Harry’s head; he could feel Harry shift closer and warm breath ghosted over his neck.

Tom stiffened for one second and then relaxed as he felt how he also started to feel sleepy.

The dog and the rat were safe inside the diary now, but he knew that he would talk to Harry about them, though… He knew he needed to make sure that the rat wouldn’t remember everything he had done. Harry wouldn’t have like to know that he tortured anyone after all… Because for some reason Tom believed that Harry would even end up forgiving Peter Pettigrew.

At least the rat had suffered at his hands, so he could easily hand him over now. And what Harry didn’t know, didn’t hurt him anyway. And it would after all mean that Sirius Black would be a free man once again and Harry could live with his godfather, or remain with the Lovegoods. It would be his choice then.

 


	20. The Dog and the Rat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom begins to understand that he does not want to lose Harry at all and he will do anything to keep him by his side. Harry meets his godfather and the one who betrayed his parents. Luna admits she knew about the black dog and explains to Harry why she couldn’t tell him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :).  
> I apologize for this rather late update, but life got a bit hectic and my inspiration was like non-existent…  
> Yet luckily it returned today, even though I am not fully satisfied with some scenes… I don’t feel like erasing them either. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos and so on ^-^!! 
> 
> Anyway hope you all enjoy! And all mistakes are still my own!  
> Cya next update :).

### Chapter 19: The Dog and the Rat

Even now Tom could feel the sorrow and guilt radiating from the younger male sleeping next to him. Guilt that he cared so much for the person who would eventually become his parents’ murderer.

Yet Tom couldn’t deny this anymore either. He wanted to drown himself in those feelings that Harry had for him. He wanted to have this boy all to himself, this reincarnation of Hadrian, his angel. He wouldn’t deny himself this anymore. He just couldn’t.

The moment he woke up, still half-asleep to feel the smaller body snuggled against him, Tom had tightened his grip on Harry, unwilling to let go and get out of this comfortable bed and embrace. Harry was still asleep, blissfully unaware of what was going through Tom’s mind.

And if only Harry knew about it all, Tom wondered how he would react to it. Tom sighed deeply, placing a small kiss on the mop of black hair. Harry would never fully accept him… that was one thing he knew for sure.

In truth Tom had expected visions, nightmares of those dark days’ in his youth. But nothing of the sort happened, instead he felt calm and serene, even now. Harry’s presence, as it always did, had made him feel calm and strangely… loved. And if Tom thought back to his dreams, it was almost as if he could have imagined an ocean, as if he could the waves crashing against the shore. It felt as if he had been standing near the sea.

It may have bothered him in the beginning how easily Harry could _‘control’_ him, even though he loathed to admit it. Right now he knew he would do anything to keep Harry at his side, and anything meant anything. It still bothers him, but he knows that as long as Harry remains unaware of the stuff he has done and maybe will do, there will be simply no problems. Harry would have no need to control him...

Tom let out another deep sigh, knowing he should get up, because there was a lot that needed to be done today. But he found himself reluctant to leave the warm embrace, so he remained where he was instead. Raising his hand he did cast a tempus seeing that it was now past 1 o’clock, meaning that Harry had missed lunch already.

Well at least they would have the whole afternoon before students would return from Hogsmeade. Tom silently pulled Harry further against him and closed his eyes once again. Tom was starting to fall asleep when Harry stirred and seemed to wake up.  


Harry exhaled deeply as he buried his head deeper into the firm chest next to him, his mind not completely aware of everything around him. “Sleep well?” A voice asked him softly.

Harry blinked his eyes open and pulled back a bit, meeting those dark eyes, Tom’s eyes. Harry was fully awake all of a sudden, when he realised what had happened and he gave a tense nod.

“For what it is worth, I apologize.” Tom muttered softly.

Harry kept quiet and a tense silence filled the room. Harry closed his eyes as he saw Tom raising his hand and he felt the fingers trail slowly over his cheek, in a kind of intimate gesture. “Did he know…?” Harry’s voice was soft and full of hurt. Harry couldn’t imagine if Voldemort knew about him being his guardian angel, because then why try to kill him? Harry just didn’t understand why his parents’ and he had been a target.

Tom slowly shook his head, understanding what Harry was asking. “I don’t know…” He replied honestly.

Harry opened his eyes, staring at Tom, who still gently moved his fingers over Harry’s cheek and up to that famous scar that he hated so much. Harry didn’t react at all, just stared at Tom.

While Tom gazed at those familiar eyes. “Tom…?” Tom noted that Harry sounded uncertain and hummed softly, waiting for the other to continue. “Do you only like me because I was once your guardian angel?”

Tom’s fingers stopped and Harry automatically shifted away, already knowing the answer before Tom even uttered a single word and he could feel something breaking down inside of him. But before he could climb out of the bed an arm went around his waist, pulling his back against a hard chest behind him.

Harry stiffened and Tom’s body was also frozen. Carefully Tom wrapped his other arm also around the smaller boy, completely encasing him.

Harry felt how Tom lowered his head, leaning it atop of his shoulder with his forehead. Harry was a bit tense, since he felt the need to comfort the other. He had no idea why, because he didn’t think there was anything wrong with the other wizard. In fact Harry felt like he needed the comfort instead...

“Did you dream, Harry?” Tom asked softly and Harry shook his head numbly. “I think I did… I can still hear the sounds of the sea in the distance if I focus on it. The smell of the salty sea air around me,” Harry frowned, not fully understanding Tom’s words. “It somehow calms me. I expected to have flashbacks to the war, like I often had, but nothing of the sort happened.”

Harry turned his head sideways and Tom looked up at him in slight wonder. Their faces were so close that Harry could almost feel Tom’s breath on his face, yet he didn’t move away as he waited for Tom to continue. “You might give me the same feeling I had when I first saw Hadrian, but you are still you as well, Harry. You’re a human being… not an angel. At first I might have only seen Hadrian in you, but believe me when I say that I see much more in you. After all I never knew Hadrian...” Tom’s said, while his mind kept repeating one word that he ignored: ‘ _Lair._ ’ He would do anything to keep Harry by his side, anything...

Harry grew silent and somehow he felt himself blushing at Tom’s words. Tom moved his hand up and cupped his cheek, staring into those deep green eyes that he had become so used to. “You have kept the nightmares at bay, Harry,” Tom’s eyes looked from Harry’s eyes to his lips and then he pulled back, albeit reluctant. “Thank you…” He whispered softly instead, silencing the part inside of him that wanted to kiss Harry.

Harry felt something flutter inside of him, it felt like something had drastically changed between them, but he couldn’t understand what or why. He could only wonder and guess where and how it had changed all of a sudden. “You’re welcome…” Harry muttered, as he stood up from the bed, still facing the other wizard.

“There is something else I must tell you.” Tom started, making Harry feel worried as he heard the tone in Tom’s voice. It sounded like Tom didn’t know how to say this.

“Yes?” Harry said carefully, waiting for Tom to go on.

“Sirius Black and someone named Peter Pettigrew are inside my diary, I locked them in there...-” Tom started and Harry’s eyes widened.

“Tom!” Harry screamed horrified, interrupting Tom.

Tom closed his eyes, holding back a sigh. He just knew he would never tell Harry about what he had done to that rat. If Harry already reacted like this only because he had locked them away…

“Relax, Harry. I did it because Sirius Black was unstable. He would have done something stupid.” Tom said, a bit harder than was necessary and he sighed as he continued in a softer tone. All the while ignore that feeling that must be guilt. “I learned from Black, that Peter Pettigrew was responsible for the deaths of your parents’ and also of the muggles who died in that blast that Sirius was blamed for. Pettigrew escaped in his animagus form, which is a rat and Sirius Black got blamed for the murders that he never committed.”

Harry was silent, his eyes still wide as he stared at Tom. “What?” He eventually asked, as he just couldn’t completely understand it all. It sounded so fucked up and Tom’s lips turned a bit upwards in clear amusement.

“Long story short: your godfather, Sirius Black is innocent and Peter Pettigrew, who was thought to be dead, is alive and well and responsible for your parents’ murder.” Tom said once again.

 

Harry shook his head and carded a hand through his hair. He was a bit glad that he had just slept and not gotten this information dumped on him a few hours ago, when his mind had already been overloaded by everything. “Can I talk to them?” Harry asked him eventually.

Tom nodded. “Of course, just give me one second.” Harry saw how Tom disappeared and he waited, wondering what to do with this information as well. He had a godfather… he still hardly could believe this and apparently Sirius Black had been in imprisoned innocently.

Harry could already think about how his life would have been had his godfather not been thrown into a prison. Most likely his godfather would have taken him in and he would have never had to live with the Dursleys.

Harry lost in his thoughts, only looked up when he heard some noise and then stood up from the bed, to face Tom and two unfamiliar wizards, one of them tied down with ropes. Harry noticed that the person was small, seemingly smaller than him and he frowned when the man’s eyes widened as he looked at him. Harry thought the man looked more rat than human, with his pointed nose, hair that was mousy brown and he was even bald on some places.

“Harry…” A voice whispered and Harry’s eyes went towards the other male. He recognized the male from the pictures he had seen; even then he noticed that the male in front of him looked far worse than he did on the pictures.

This person was Sirius Black, his godfather? The black-haired wizard smiled a bit, but it looked strange on the face, as if he had not smiled in some time and his face wasn’t used to it anymore. Harry could also see something in those eyes that resembled insanity.

“Sirius Black?” Harry asked softly and the male nodded as he approached him. Harry tensed as he was pulled into a tight hug.

“Oh, merlin. You look so much like your father. I am so sorry. I should have been there for you.” Sirius pulled back and looked him in the eye, placing his hands atop Harry’s shoulder.

Harry felt that the grip was a bit too hard for his liking, but he didn’t move away as he looked at the other’s face. Shaggy hair and a beard framed the face mostly, obscuring the skin that was most likely filthy. Harry could smell a strange odour that he didn’t like at all and he scrunched up his nose.

Sirius didn’t seem to notice it as he kept on rambling about how he was sorry and he shouldn’t have been so stupid, should have stayed with him, but now everything was going to be alright again. He was going to be a free man soon and Harry could start living with him.

Harry glanced towards Tom, who stood there, staring at the scene with a blank expression, but even then he could see something simmering inside Tom’s eyes and he stopped Sirius from speaking as he placed his hands on Sirius’s arms.

“Sirius...” Harry sighed and looked at him. “I… could you start at the beginning?” Harry eventually asked, making Sirius seem shocked and guilty.

“Right…” Sirius muttered and then looked over his shoulder towards Tom and what Harry assumed was Peter Pettigrew.

Sirius guided Harry towards the bed and sat down. Harry sat closely next to the man and both ignored the squeaking of Pettigrew, who was staring at all of them with fear in his eyes, most likely knowing that his life was doomed now.

Tom stayed next to Peter, as if guarding him and Harry frowned at him. He had noticed that Tom’s whole behaviour had changed drastically and the other wizard was acting distant.

“Harry…” Sirius said and placed a hand on the younger’s shoulder. Harry broke eye contact with Tom, thinking about asking why the sudden change later on. “Everyone believes I am a death eater, a follower of Voldemort, but I am not. I never betrayed Lily or James! I would rather die than betray my best friend.”

Harry could see the sincerity in Sirius’s eyes as he spoke, it was clear that the wizard wasn’t lying. “I thought that…” Sirius looked towards Tom and Harry followed his gaze. Tom merely raised an eyebrow, as if silently saying to him to continue.

Harry saw that something was left unsaid between the two of them and he brought his gaze back to Sirius when his godfather continued. “I never received a trial; everyone believed I had killed those muggles and Peter in that blast.” Sirius snarled as he glared hatefully towards the cowering man kneeling on the floor.

Harry noticed how Peter ducked his head and started muttering, though he couldn’t quite catch the words, because of the obvious distress he was in. Eventually Harry could catch something that sounded like. ‘ _You have no idea how he is, he would have killed us all_.’

Harry quickly reasoned that Peter was talking about Voldemort and something inside him seemed to ache for the way that Peter spoke about him, so full of fear of one person. Tom’s future self, the one he had met in his first year. Those red eyes staring down at him and Harry even now could feel the need to protect the other.

To protect someone who had taken so many lives and destroyed many more. Voldemort had destroyed his as well, hadn’t he? ‘ _Please, not my son! Not my dear Harry!’_

Harry closed his eyes and held back his sigh as he focused his attention back on Sirius next to him. He never saw Tom’s eyes look at him. Instead he listened to Sirius as the male explained about them both being an animagus, about the Fidelius Charm that had protected Lily and James and their secret keeper, who had been Peter Pettigrew. At the end Harry was horrified to learn that Scabbers had been Peter Pettigrew in disguise all along…

Yet it made sense, because Harry knew the rat had been missing a finger for years and Sirius said that the traitorous rat cut it off before blasting the whole street apart and escaping. As Harry had glanced over, Tom had looked down and forced Peter to raise his hand, so that Harry could see the missing finger.

All in all, it was the question what to do now when Sirius finished telling his story. Harry looked at Peter, who was hanging his head down, almost as if feeling his upcoming demise. Sirius made it clear that he wanted to kill the rat, but Tom had already stopped him from making that mistake, since Peter being alive was proof that he was innocent.

Harry agreed and Sirius deflated a bit, glaring at his former friend. Harry could see the hatred simmering in the insane eyes. He couldn’t even begin to understand how Sirius must be feeling… How would he feel if someone he believed a friend betrayed him and framed him for something like this?

Harry looked up, meeting Tom’s eyes again. Tom had remained silent, only occasionally adding stuff that was important. But as Harry looked at him and imagined Tom betraying him somehow, he couldn’t even begin to understand his feelings when he thought of it.

Tom’s eyes were on him and Harry wondered if the other wizard was aware of what was going through his mind. Tom had asked him what he would do when he met Voldemort again, but Harry had never asked Tom what it was that he wanted to get out of this.

Would Tom met up with his other self and fight with him? Harry gritted his teeth as he couldn’t accept that. He had no idea why, but he knew that Voldemort was cruel and it was difficult to see that in Tom. Never had the other wizard being cruel towards him, yet Harry knew he was merely fooling himself.

Tom had wanted to hurt his relatives for what they had done, Tom hadn’t hidden his desires to hurt those who had hurt him either and Harry somehow felt certain that if his magical core hadn’t been drained on that day that Tom would have tortured his relatives as well. He didn’t know why, but he just knew it.

Harry looked towards Peter, breaking the eye contact with Tom. He felt nervous all of a sudden and he didn’t understand why exactly. Tom would never harm him, yet he couldn’t shake the awful feeling he had inside of him… A feeling that warned him, something was wrong….

“Harry…” A hand was placed on his arm and he looked up at Sirius. He saw how Sirius looked at him with worry and he smiled a bit.

“I am fine… We need a plan for Peter to get in the hands of the ministry.” Harry said softly as he looked back to the cowering male. Tom stood still next to him, almost like a statue, making Harry feel even more uneasy about it...

“Easy, we let him escape and Black catches him, handing him over to the Ministry.” Tom stated, as he looked over to Black.

Harry thought about that and then gave a small nod as he stood up, seeing that Sirius also agreed with it. Sirius put a hand on top of his shoulder as the male followed his example, but then went down on one knee in front of him, making Harry frown at him. “When I will be free, you can come live with me, if you want to.” Sirius tried for a smile, but it was more like a crooked smile.

Harry nodded and then smiled at him, as Tom removed the ropes of Peter, who immediately backed away with fear in his eyes. Even though Harry started to wonder if he wanted to leave the Lovegood house... “P-please Sirius, you must understand.” Harry was brought back to the present by the pleading of the rat.

“I do not understand! You filthy rat. I will never understand how you betrayed your friends.” Sirius snarled and he extended his hand silently towards Harry, who blinked up at him in confusion. “Your wand, please…” Sirius asked.

Harry didn’t feel like handing his wand over to his godfather, who he had just met and he looked with wide eyes towards Tom, silently asking what he thought about it. A small nod was his answer and Harry hesitantly handed his wand over.

Harry sighed and knew that the coming days would change everything… He would need to act like he somehow lost his wand. Tom had said that he could tell them all that an animal had attacked him when he wandered over the school grounds, most likely dropping his wand in the process and only finding out about it later and Sirius would back up that story. To make certain that Pettigrew didn’t remember Tom or this whole plan, they erased the rat's mind.

And afterwards Harry and Tom left the room as Sirius attacked Pettigrew. Harry opened his mouth to speak but Tom shook his head at him. “Tonight…” Tom whispered softly and faded away. Harry closed his mouth with a sigh and walked down all the stairs, making his way outside. If anyone would see him walking there it would be better for their fake story after all.

Yet somehow the cold outside made him feel colder on the inside. It felt like his instincts were warning him and he had no idea why. To make matters worse, he was worried about Tom’s sudden mood changes. Was it because Sirius and Pettigrew had been there? Harry could only hope so…

Harry walked near the edge of the forbidden forest and he blinked when he saw familiar blond hair. Slowly and silently he walked up to Luna, who hadn’t seen him at all. “Hello Harry.” She greeted him and his lips turned upwards in a fond smile.

Luna glanced over her shoulder, smiling softly at him. “I think everything worked out rather well.” Luna said and Harry just gave a small nod, knowing she most likely knew about everything.

He frowned as she threw down some meat. “What are you doing?” Harry asked as he eyed the meat on the ground. He gasped as he saw that somehow the meat was slowly disappearing as if small bites were being taken out of it.

“Feeding the Thestrals. They are underrated creatures because most humans find them disgusting and are scared of them,” Luna replied, while she handed him a piece of raw meat. Harry looked at it and then back to the place where the other piece of meat was lying. “Just throw it there.” Luna pointed to a place near the other pieces of meat.

Harry threw the meat and he saw how slowly but surely bites were appearing in it as well, making him smile softly at the invisible creatures. “Just because something is invisible doesn’t make it less real….” Luna whispered.

“Why can’t I see them?” Harry asked her, as he looked sideways to the blonde girl, who clearly could see them.

Luna looked up at him and smiled sadly. “They can only be seen by people who've seen death.”

Harry’s eyes widened as he eyed Luna and then his eyes turned sad as he understood the meaning of her words. “Your mother?” He questioned her and Luna hummed softly.

Harry’s eyes went back to the meat on the ground. Angels were invisible as well, but out there. Harry believed they were, not only because Luna could see them. Somehow something inside him told him that they were real.

“Did you know about that black dog?” Harry asked her after some time.

“Yes.” Luna replied and she didn’t continue. Harry wondered what else she had known.

“About Tom locking him up inside a diary?” Harry asked, as he turned and faced Luna.

Luna gave a small sigh and looked up at him. “Harry, even if I know things that are happening or going to happen, because the angels tell me stuff like that,” Luna sadly shook her head at him. “I cannot always tell you or any other human being about it. Fate has its own course in our lives and some things are bound to happen.”

Harry gave a small nod. He didn’t quite like it, but he didn’t want her to feel pressured because he wanted information that she clearly could not give. Besides that he could understand her reasoning a bit. If he hadn’t lived with the Dursleys, then maybe he would have never fully understood Tom, who grew up in an orphanage, where he was also treated like a freak.

“Some things need to happen…” Luna whispered, as her silver eyes went back to the creatures that Harry could not see. “Yet every day fate could change, because our everyday choices define us. People never stay the same however, when life fucks them up, we always change and so our choices change with us.” Luna said with a small smile and Harry laughed softly, because of her word choice.

The blond girl smiled at him and then turned around, walking away, leaving Harry standing there alone, staring at the meat that was now gone. “Care for a walk by the lake?” Luna’s voice asked him and he looked up over his shoulder, shocked because he had believed she had already left him.

He could see her serious expression changing a bit as her expression softened. “Or you do prefer a walk through the forest instead?”

Harry couldn’t help himself and he laughed at her, shaking his head he walked up to her. “Thanks Luna. I prefer the lake however.”

The blond girl merely smiled at him and gave a small nod. “Just remember, that you are never alone, even when you feel like you are. You are never alone, Harry.”


	21. Shrieking Shack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short… The reason for it, my inspiration for this story is totally working against me… 
> 
> My mind can only ends up seeing two scenes… two damned scenes that are most likely going to be the end of this story. And the rest in between nope… empty, non-existent. So yay… I am actually surprised I finished this chapter lol.  
> Well the good thing is I have the end in mind I guess XD? 
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoy and cya next update :).

### Chapter 20: Shrieking Shack

**Inside the diary:**

Tom entered the diary and looked at both Black and Pettigrew. He resisted smirking when he saw how Pettigrew trembled in his cage when he noticed him.

Black however just motionless stared at him. “Come to torture him again?” The male asked him quite casually.  
  
Tom glanced up at him. “No, not this time,” he replied curtly. “I was with Harry just now,” Black’s eyes widened upon hearing those words and he leaned forward, clearly interested. “We are going to turn the rat in.” Tom said as his lips curved upwards in a small grin. Especially as Black clearly didn’t believe him.  
  
“I will be free… like you promised me.” Black muttered his voice still full of disbelief at what was happening.  
  
“Yes. I always keep my word.” Tom stated and walked towards Pettigrew who started shivering in fear and backed away from him, but even the other side of the cage was still not far as Tom crouched down in front of the bars. With his mere will alone, he conjured ropes and tied the rat down, the cage dissolving into nothingness as if it never existed in the first place.  
  
Wormtail let out a small shriek as he still attempted to move away from him, but tied down as he was it took Tom only two long strides to reach the cowering male and he roughly pulled Wormtail up, fingers tightening in the few strands of hair on the rather bald head.    
  
“P-please… d-don’t hurt me.” Pettigrew pleaded with fear in his eyes and voice.  
  
Tom merely grinned at him. “I would like to and I think Black would like to hurt you as well, but there is no time,” He said, knowing that Harry was waiting for them. Looking up at Black, who was now standing next to them, he spoke in a serious and harsh tone. “If you want to keep your memories of your time inside the diary intact, you will not utter a word about what happened in here.”  
  
Sirius stared at the teenager, who at first didn’t look evil at all when he saw him at the Lovegood house. But he had seen a side of Tom that he clearly kept hidden. Sirius had never heard Wormtail cry and scream as loud as he had when Tom had tortured him.  
  
It had filled him with delight to know that the rat was being hurt and he didn’t want to forget about it. Sirius knew he never wanted to forget this, because Wormtail deserved it. In fact he believed the rat deserved much worse. “Not even to Harry?” Sirius asked him.  
  
“Especially not to Harry.” Tom stated harshly and Sirius knew that Tom was keeping this a secret from Harry.  
  
He gave a small nod, seeing Tom’s lips curve upwards. “I thought as much,” Tom fixed his attention back on the male he was holding, who was now crying and trembling. “Don’t worry; you won’t remember a single thing…” He promised Wormtail darkly as he quickly and efficiently erased all Pettigrew’s memories about the tortures that happened inside here.  
  
The rat would believe he was only being locked away here and that nothing bad happened and Harry would never know the truth. Because Sirius would prefer to know that Wormtail had suffered, so without a doubt Sirius would never risk telling Harry the truth about what happened.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
As Hermione and Ron returned before dinner, Harry listened to their stories about Hogsmeade, smiling at them. Even though he didn’t really feel like smiling, he could hardly wait for this day to end.  
  
Because then he would finally be able to talk to Tom. He didn’t even have an appetite and Hermione had seemed worried, asking him if he was feeling alright. He said he was alright, but she had looked at him with worry in her eyes nonetheless. She was a clever girl and he just knew that she realised that something was amiss.  
  
Harry hardly could tell them about how his life had changed so much during almost half a year. In May, which was only 5 months away, he would know Tom for one year and so much had happened.  
  
It was strange that looking back on it all that time had passed rather quickly and Harry had a feeling that too much had happened.  
  
Hermione and Ron had said they were sorry that he couldn’t have come with them, but he said that maybe next time he could come with them. After all Sirius must be able to sign his permission slip, so he could go to Hogsmeade during the next Hogsmeade weekend.  
  
Honestly Harry was glad when dinner ended and they had gone back to the dorms, yet he still couldn’t write or meet Tom and it was killing him. He needed to know, it had been bothering him all afternoon. But he knew he had to focus on something else as well… His suddenly lost wand.  
  
So finally when it was time to turn in Harry gasped and tried to make it seem like he was searching for something. “Harry?” Ron asked confused by his friend’s behaviour.  
  
“Ron, I lost my wand!” Harry yelled, sounding distressed by it and secretly glad it sounded convincing. Dean, Seamus and also Neville looked up at his words.  
  
“Bloody hell,” Ron muttered as he made his way to Harry. “Have you searched everywhere?”  
  
Harry stopped searching and then looked towards his friend. “I am certain I had it on me, but I tripped when I was walking with Luna around the lake.” Harry said as he shook his head.    
  
“You must have lost it when you fell…” Neville muttered with a slight frown, already saying what Harry wanted to add.  
  
Harry sighed instead and gave a small nod. “I think you are right… Good thing it is Sunday tomorrow, I will ask the professors to see if they can help me find it again.” The others nodded and agreed, saying that was the best thing to do for now.  
  
Since when they took one glance outside, it was snowing pretty heavily and Ron even said that maybe his wand must be buried underneath all that snow.  
  
Harry had just sighed again and said he hoped that they would find it tomorrow morning and he was glad when they all turned in and he closed the curtains around his bed as well.  
  
Tom appeared on his bed, just like that. Like nothing had changed, yet he knew everything had changed.  
  
“You did well.” Tom praised him, after had had placed the silencing wards around his bed. Harry gave a grateful nod to the small praise and decided to ask the thing that was bothering him the most right now.  
  
“Tom, why were you so different?” Harry asked immediately.  
  
“I acted, Harry,” Tom said softly with a small frown. “I don’t know Sirius Black that well, and he said he wanted to keep his memories intact. He only knows me like that.”  
  
“He knows you as being a cold and emotionless person?” Harry asked and Tom gave a small tense nod.  
  
Harry frowned slightly. He could feel that something wasn’t quite right and he shook his head. Tom let out a sigh and moved closer, placing his hand on Harry’s cheek. “I will never do anything to hurt you, Harry.”  
  
Somehow Harry could believe that. He had no idea why, but he just knew that Tom hadn’t been lying when he said those words. Harry looked Tom in the eyes, as if he could better understand the other. Yet it only made it harder, because some he knew that Tom had been lying to him at some points. The problem was, he just couldn’t figure out when or what kind of lies Tom had told him.  
  
The first one stuck with him. How Tom had showed him the memory of him framing Hagrid. It had all been a lie as well… Harry had a feeling that Tom was a pretty good liar and everything inside him seemed to be warning him for it right now.  
  
“Did you lie?” Harry asked, needing to know if his gut instincts were right.  
  
Tom frowned, as he shook his head. “No, I would never lie to you, Harry.” He spoke softly and his voice didn’t betray him. Harry still felt Tom’s hand on his cheek and carefully he placed his atop of it. Tom’s eyes brightened and a soft smile appeared on the wizard’s face.  
  
That smile made Harry forget it all and he smiled in return, pushing his darker thoughts and insecurities far away. He knew there were more things he wanted to ask. “Tom, what are your plans, regarding your future self?”  
  
Tom’s smile faded as the wizard moved forward and pulled Harry down. They both lay down sideways, facing each other, and Harry stared at the other wizard. “Honestly, I don’t know.” Tom replied.  
  
Harry blinked at him and then sighed, burying his head against Tom’s hard chest. He felt safe and content when Tom’s arms wrapped around him, this was something that he had missed. “I don’t know either…” Harry whispered, even though he had already admitted this earlier. He wanted to save Voldemort, but could he really? Last time the Dark Lord had clearly wanted to kill him…  
  
Silence filled the bed, but it didn’t feel comfortable for either of them. Both of them lost in their worrying thoughts about what to do. While at the same time Harry just enjoyed how safe he felt in the other’s embrace, not knowing that Tom felt the same.  
  
But… there was still a nagging feeling in the back of Harry’s mind and he broke the silence, wanting to ignore it. “Tom, what do you want for your birthday?” He asked, remembering what he had promised the other months ago.  
  
Tom stiffened, not comprehending yet that even through everything that had happened; Harry was still asking him this. “I don’t want anything.” He replied softly.  
  
Harry frowned and pulled back, looking Tom in the eye. “Everyone wants something for their birthday, Tom.”  
  
Tom just shook his head. “I am just glad that we are talking to each other again, Harry. You do not have to waste your time in planning anything or giving me something.” Tom said.  
  
Harry shook his head. “I am still going to give you something at least. I promised, remember.” The problem was even when Harry said that; he simply had no idea what to give to Tom.  
  
Tom laughed softly. “Go to sleep and stop thinking.” Tom said and Harry blushed when Tom placed a kiss on his forehead. He ducked his head, hoping to hide it but when Tom chuckled he knew the wizard had seen his face turning red nonetheless.  
  
A small smile appeared on Harry’s face, despite it all. He would find something for Tom’s birthday and maybe for Christmas as well. With those thoughts he fell asleep, while Tom remained awake next to him.  
  
Tom tightened his hold on the younger wizard, knowing one thing for sure. If his future self would dare to raise his wand towards Harry, he would kill him, even if he would be killing a part of himself.  
  
Tom snorted softly and closed his eyes. It didn’t matter, did it…? Even if he killed him for trying to harm Harry, Voldemort would come back one way or another. He was immortal after all...  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The next day Harry and Ron told Hermione that Harry had lost his wand somehow. So they waited near the entrance of the Great Hall and when professor McGonagall came towards it, Harry made his way towards her.  
  
“Professor?” Harry started and she stopped, smiling at him, though Harry could see that she was bothered by something. Just like everyone had been since Sirius Black had escaped from Azkaban. He believed it was because they believed Sirius was a death eater. Everyone was on edge and the tension could be felt almost every day.  
  
Harry now knew that they were all wrong however. “Mr. Potter.” She greeted him in return.  
  
“I have a bit of a problem…” Harry muttered, seeing some other students watching them intrigued. Harry continued when he noticed that he had his professor’s attention. “I walked by the lake yesterday and I tripped, but last evening I found out that I have lost my wand.”  
  
McGonagall’s mouth opened in a slight ‘o’ form, clearly shocked by it, and she looked towards Hermione and Ron briefly. “I see. I will speak to the headmaster about it, but do not worry. There are spells to locate stuff, even a wand, so without a doubt we will find it no time.” She told him, hoping to ease the worries.  
  
Harry smiled at her and thanked her, as they all walked into the Great Hall. Harry put some food upon his plate, feeling a bit better than yesterday and he noticed Hermione looking at him thoughtful. “I do not understand you,” She eventually said with a shake of her head. “You seemed so… sad lately and now you are just happy again, despite that you lost your wand.”  
  
Harry stiffened briefly, hoping that her clever mind wouldn’t put all the pieces together, but then Harry reminded himself that Hermione didn’t know about Tom and he smiled at her. “I slept well last night. I am sorry for worrying you both.”  
  
Ron grumbled something, but both Harry and Hermione couldn’t understand it as his mouth was full of food and Harry laughed softly when Hermione glared at the redhead and started saying how he shouldn’t speak with his mouth full.  
  
Ron just grinned at her and Harry could indeed feel the sadness that had lingered because of Tom’s absence was slowly disappearing. He was glad that he had spoken to Tom and that Luna had helped him once more.  
  
Harry glanced over his shoulder, seeing the blond second year sitting there. She smiled up at him and then glanced towards the head table. He followed her gaze and noticed how professor McGonagall was talking to Dumbledore, who frowned for one second and then looked over to him.  
  
Harry ducked his head a bit, hoping that it would seem like he was ashamed of losing his wand somehow.  
  
The headmaster merely smiled at him and Harry felt relieved that it seemed like Dumbledore believed it all. He didn’t feel good about lying, but he knew there might be no other way to prove that Sirius was innocent, so he had to bear with it.  
  
For Harry the rest of this Sunday passed in quickly and in ease. He never knew what had happened just out in Hogsmeade, inside the Shrieking Shack.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sirius looked at the wand inside his hand, it felt slightly warm to his touch and strangely it had worked rather well for him. Not like his wand, but still, it worked good enough to get the job done.  
  
Now all he had to do is wait, because he knew that Harry would make sure that they would start to search for the wand. He had seen how Harry had walked past the lake after he left the room yesterday.

  
Slipping out of the castle had been as easy as it always had been, the secrets passages were still there and he was outside in the snow before he even knew it.  
  
The blond Lovegood girl, Luna if Sirius wasn’t mistaken, had walked next to Harry and Sirius had snorted, trying to contain his laughter, as Harry tripped, while Luna laughed and helped him up. Harry sheepishly smiled at her and they continued their walk, as if nothing had happened.  
  
Sirius hadn’t waited much longer and had left towards Hogsmeade and the Shrieking Shack after seeing that his godson was doing fine. It was in the Shrieking Shack where he spends his time waiting and staring at the unconscious tied male next to him. A person he once thought his friend, but who had betrayed them all.  
  
The urge to curse Wormtail was there, but the reminder of how the rat had screamed, cried and pleaded Tom to stop him cursing him made it fade away a bit. It made Sirius realise that Harry was far too innocent and young to know about the true horrors of the world… To know true anger and hatred like that. Sirius wanted to spare his godson the pain and suffering of knowing this.  
  
Yet he had seen that there was something inside Tom. It seemed almost inhuman, demonic even. The teenager had enjoyed torturing Wormtail far too much. The Cruciatus Curse came for too easy and Sirius knew that it was hardly the first time that Tom had uttered the spell and used it.  
  
Underneath that handsome dark-haired boy, buried deep within, was something that was trying to claw its way out. Or maybe it was already out and Tom was just a damn skilled actor… But whatever it was, Sirius had a feeling that it wasn’t good.    
  
Especially as there had been an almost crazed look in Tom’s eyes when he last time entered the diary and remained inside of it.  
  
Sirius had asked Tom why that he was suddenly staying inside of the small book in which he had locked them all away. The teenager had glared at him and never replied to his question. Yet… neither did Tom torture him. So there was clearly a part inside of Tom that was… good.  
  
Sirius snorted and shook his head. If he learned one thing in his life, it was that everyone had their good and bad qualities. Everyone was capable of making mistakes… No one was perfect, even though back then he believed that James and he would be able to rule the whole world.  
  
He had been so arrogant back then and Tom seemed to be the same, only slightly more unhinged… Sirius might just keep his eyes on the other, but he knew one thing for certain. Tom wasn’t out to hurt Harry in any way and that in itself was enough for Sirius to accept him. Especially since his godson really looked up towards Tom.    
  
Sirius didn’t know how much time had passed lost inside his memories and thoughts as he was. But when the door squeaked open he grinned up at the headmaster entering warily with his wand held out in front of him. Remus’s eyes widened and Snivellus’s eyes narrowed at seeing him sitting there on the dirty bed while Wormtail was lying next to his feet, unconscious still.  
  
McGonagall stared at the two of them in confusion for there was a dead man tied up, breathing and alive. And then there was Sirius Black, convicted murderer who was grinning up at them.  
  
Those blue eyes hidden behind those spectacles stared from Sirius towards who he knew to be Peter Pettigrew. Albus had thought it strange when he couldn’t locate Harry’s wand on the school grounds at all, but this was something that none of them had expected. Minerva had said she would accompany him as well and Severus and Remus simply followed her example. He was kind of glad that so many people seemed to be worried about Harry, that they even wanted to help search for his wand.  
  
“Hello Albus, it has been some time,” Sirius said. His grin widening as he gestured towards Wormtail next to him. “I think you remember him.”  
  
Remus had paled upon seeing his old friend and also his supposed dead friend. “I never betrayed Lily and James. Wormtail was made the secret keeper, since we thought it was safer.” Sirius snarled as he got up and threw Harry’s wand towards them.  
  
Albus easily caught it. “I think we should call the aurors… to investigate this.” The headmaster whispered softly, as he looked at the two of them.  
  
A crooked smile appeared on Sirius’s face. “He will deserve the dementor’s kiss.”  


	22. Christmas and Tom’s birthday

### Chapter 21: Christmas and Tom’s birthday

The days after the capture of Peter Pettigrew, the male had been questioned, even with the use of Veritaserum. The awful truth was revealed and the newspapers during the Christmas holiday were filled with it.  
  
Like Tom and Harry expected Sirius was being freed from all charges as Pettigrew was sentenced to death. The rat would receive the dementor’s kiss before the year was over and part of Harry felt sorry for him. Especially because Tom had explained how dementors worked and that a kiss was final and the soul would be forever lost.  
  
Somehow it was a fate that Harry didn’t wish upon anyone, not even his worst enemy.  
  
Harry was relieved however that the dementors that were stationed around Hogwarts were pulled back. The awful feeling that those nasty creatures gave him was horrifying, not even to speak about hearing his mother’s last moments.  
  
But out of sight, out of mind. Harry tried to forget the experiences he had with the dementors and focus more upon just having fun and learning more. Sadly the conversations between him and Tom had become rather stilted after everything that had happened.  
  
Harry knew that Tom wasn’t to blame for his parents’ death, since the other wizard claimed he was but a mere memory and he had not been the one to attack the Potters. He didn’t think that Tom was lying to him, but still something just didn’t feel right.  
  
And before Harry even realised it, Christmas came around. Like promised Luna and her father bought him a new broom, even though he said that it was quite alright. It was a pity that Sirius had the same idea and Harry didn’t know what to even do with two brooms.  
  
Harry also got a new knitted Weasley sweater from the Weasleys and a scarf from Ginny, who had smiled at him and strangely got quite close as she handed her gift to him. Tom had not been amused by it and when Harry had asked him, he explained that Ginny Weasley clearly had a crush on him and he was blind that he didn’t even see it.  
  
It left Harry stunned, because one; Tom had called him blind and two, because he indeed hadn’t seen it… So Tom was right and Harry felt awkward whenever he saw Ginny now. He just didn’t like her that way, at least he didn’t think so…  
  
Harry had gotten Tom a wand, because he realised that the wizard didn’t have one. Tom explained that his other self must have it somewhere and he was quite glad with the gift. Even though Tom had to get it himself, since Harry couldn’t just go to Diagon Alley and because Tom needed to feel if the wand was right for him. Tom got him a small spellbook with very useful spells and the wizard even added a few spells with parselmagic in it.    
  
As it was also closing in on Tom’s birthday, Harry had no idea what to give the other and ended up asking Luna for advice. The blond girl had simply smiled at him and handed him a catalogue, saying he could order anything he wanted and it would be shipped through the owl post, even anonymously. He had said to her that even then he had no idea what to give to Tom, but Luna had merely smiled at him and said _‘Just follow your intuition, Harry. You will give him something that he will greatly appreciate.’_  
  
Harry however didn’t believe her words and looked through the catalogue, to the amusement of Tom. Tom had still insisted that he shouldn’t spend any money or anything on him, but Harry said he would, because Tom had become his friend. Strangely the other wizard became silent after Harry had said that, but there was something in those dark eyes that Harry couldn’t quite read or understand.  
  
After looking through the catalogue Harry finally found a gift and quickly ordered it, specifying that he didn’t want anyone to know what he had bought. He could still see Tom’s shocked face, before it lit up. In that moment he knew he had made the right decision. It was a moment that Harry surely would never forget.  
  
Tom seemed genuinely happy with the egg, a small snake egg and Harry wondered what kind of snake would come out of it. Surprisingly Harry was giddier in anticipation than Tom was, but he saw Tom smiling more than he did before.  
  
Somehow the tension between them slowly drifted away again. Harry decided that Tom was not to blame for whatever happened to his father and mother and him. 

Strangely Harry also learned that Remus Lupin had also known his parents’ and Sirius Black. The four of them had been close friends. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. They even called themselves the Marauders and Harry liked to hear something about them all at least. Simply to know that in the past his parents’ had also walked through these hallways and learned magic here made him feel slightly closer to them.  
  
And with the year coming to an end, it marked the new beginning and Sirius started to receive treatment for all the years he spent in Azkaban, making him slightly unstable, just like Tom had said. All in all everyone was happy when it settled down again.  
  
The holiday came to an end far too soon and the second term started. Harry and all the other students once again got loaded with loads of homework and essays.  Tom often spends his time helping the younger wizard and Harry easily soaked up all the information. Hermione was surprised by Harry’s sudden increase in reading and studying, but she wasn’t complaining.  
  
Ron however often complained that his best friend was suddenly a book nerd just like Hermione. Harry had shrugged it all off with a smile.  
  
Harry kept in contact with Sirius through letters as well and his godfather was still recovering from everything. A mind healer was assigned to him, because of the damage the dementors and his time in Azkaban might have done to him and Sirius said that he knew he needed it.  
  
Tom stated that he had been the one to push him into that direction, since he told Sirius that he was unstable. Harry had laughed as Tom said that Sirius had denied this vehemently in the beginning. He knew however that Tom was right, he had seen the insanity in those eyes and he hoped that with the help he got right now Sirius would be able to get his life back on track.  
  
Luckily Sirius did sign his permission slip for Hogsmeade. To Harry everything went well, there were no signs of Voldemort or anything sinister waiting for them.  
  
During February the snake egg started to hatch and Tom had appeared on the bed that evening with the egg in his hands. Harry’s eyes widened as he shifted forward, watching intrigued how there was a small crack in the egg.  
  
Tom smiled as he saw those emerald eyes lit up at the sight. “Oh, wow….” Harry muttered, as he stared at the egg still.  
  
It took some time and Harry knew it was close to midnight when a tiny head finally cracked through the egg. Tom was sitting next to him, both their backs against the headboard, as the egg was lying in front of them on a small warm blanket.  
  
Tom leaned forward and picked up the egg, seeing that tiny head try to slip out of the egg and Harry smiled at it. “Hello there.” Tom hissed softly and the small baby snake reared its head up.  
  
Harry laughed softly when a small tongue slipped out of its mouth, tasting the air around it. “Hello mother.” The baby snake hissed back.  
  
Harry snorted and tried not to laugh, but failed desperately, especially at Tom’s expression. Even though his face was blank, his eyes had widened and his mouth was slightly open.  
  
Tom glanced to Harry who was trying to stop laughing, but simply couldn’t. Tom shook his head and sighed. “I am not your mother…” Tom said softly. Never before did he think anyone would call him mother…  
  
“Not..?” The snake hissed back, clearly confused. Harry was gasping for breath and holding his stomach as he finally was able to stop laughing.  
  
“No, I am a human, not a snake.” Tom replied with a sigh.  
  
Harry smiled up at him. “Close enough. You are the Heir of Slytherin.” Harry hissed at him and Tom arched his eyebrow at the younger wizard.  
  
Tom then grinned at him. “Last time I checked I looked like a human, or something must have drastically changed.”  
  
Harry merely smiled at him and then eyed the small snake. “Hello, nice meeting you.” He hissed towards the small snake.  
  
The snake moved his head towards Harry and then seemed to struggle, finally breaking free of the egg. Tom felt how the small snake slithered over his hand. “Hello.” The snake remained silent for some time and then hissed something else that made Tom snort out a laugh. “Mother?”  
  
Harry seemed frozen in shock before he laughed, shaking his head. “No…” Harry hissed back.  
  
They taught the snake that they were humans who were capable of speaking parseltongue, snake language. Immediately the snake seemed to understand it and glad that they were able to communicate.  
  
Harry eventually asked Tom what he was going to name the snake. And as Tom eyed the small green snake he smiled softly. “Emerald.” He had replied. It seemed fitting and Harry also thought it was a beautiful name for the small green snake.  
  
Emerald stayed with Tom, and when the wizard faded into the diary the snake went with him. Harry supposed he found a perfect gift after all, since now Tom wasn’t alone all day and soon the snake learned all kinds of things that Tom told and explained to her.  
  
Before Harry even knew it, it was the start of May and without any warning whatsoever Harry was called to the headmaster’s office. Harry had said he had no idea what to expect, but Tom reasoned the elder wizard might want to ask him about either Sirius or about the diary, to see if his memories of what happened inside the Chamber had returned.  
  
It was now a year ago and Tom had a feeling that Dumbledore hadn’t quite dropped the search for said diary and it didn’t feel right, to be so close under the headmaster’s nose. Yet Tom trusted Harry, because he knew without a doubt Harry would never hand over the diary to anyone. The young wizard was much too protective over him.  
  
Harry through it all had slowly let go of that gnawing feeling he had that Tom had been lying. He blamed it to his imagination, because it didn’t seem like Tom did anything wrong. It must have simply been the stress of it all.  
  
Harry withheld a sigh as he knocked and entered when the voice inside said so. “Ah Harry, my boy,” Albus said as the young boy entered his office. “Lemon drop?” He asked, gesturing towards the small bowl on his desk.  
  
Harry smiled and shook his head. “No, thanks sir.” He replied as he sat down on the armchair.  
  
Albus gave a brief nod and the smile of his face faded. Harry suppressed any feelings of dread he might have, but he couldn’t help but feel on edge. “Harry, during this past year I have searched for Tom’s diary,” The elder wizard sighed deeply. “I am afraid I came up empty-handed and I fear what could happen should the diary fall into the wrong hands.”  
  
“I... understand sir.” Harry replied, while he ignored his heart that seemed to beat louder at the headmaster’s words. Harry didn’t want to think of Tom’s bad side. He was trying so desperately to forget what had happened during their first fight, even that Tom had screamed at him that he had been planning on killing him… Harry preferred to forget about it all and he had done a good job in it. He didn’t want the headmaster to remind him that Tom wasn’t nice and evil, just like Voldemort…     
  
Albus sighed. “I am sure you do… You have meet Tom twice now, but I wanted to ask you. Have any of your memories of the incident inside the Chamber returned, my boy?”  
  
Harry shook his head. “I am afraid not, sir. I cannot remember anything.” He fidgeted a bit, not even bothering to hide his nerves.  
  
Blue eyes watched him and Harry could feel a small prickly inside his mind through the eye contact. Just like Tom had taught him, he easily made up fake memories of that time. Blank memories even. The headmaster gave a tense nod.  
  
“I am sorry for bothering you with it.” Dumbledore said sadly as he leaned back. “Now.. Regarding you staying with the Lovegood family. Do you wish to remain there or would you prefer to live with your godfather now that he is free?”  
  
Harry knew that this question would come one day and he still hadn’t entirely prepared himself for it. He didn’t know Sirius that well yet and Luna and her father had welcomed him in.  
  
Yet he also felt the need to get to know his godfather. “I will speak to Luna about it, but I think I might want to live with Sirius.”  
  
Albus smiled and nodded and that twinkle was back in his eyes. “I think that would be a great choice. I remember the days well when the Marauders went to school here,” Albus then let out a small sad sigh, most likely reminiscing about those times. “How times have changed since then.”  
  
Harry smiled sadly as those blue eyes watched him and eventually sent him away again. It was all a lot to take in, even though he had a few pictures of his parents’, he had never known them… But Remus and Sirius had both said to him that he looked so much like James, except for his eyes. He had his mother’s eyes.  
  
That evening when Tom appeared on bed, they both were tense. Emerald also felt the tension and moved from Tom’s hand to Harry’s. “What is wrong, Harry?” Emerald asked him and Harry let out a soft laugh at the snake’s question.  
  
What he wouldn’t do to be so ignorant of everything. “Nothing, Em…” Harry replied, but the snake shook her head, clearly not believing his words.  
  
“Lies. I can smell the tension from you both.” Emerald hissed, fixing her gaze on both of them. Harry carefully looked up to Tom, seeing that Tom’s face was blank, but if Emerald was right Tom also didn’t like this all.  
  
“Tom?” Harry asked softly.  
  
The other wizard looked up and Harry smiled sadly at him. “You’re not him… You didn’t kill my parents’ or any of those others. I don’t blame you…” Harry muttered, looking down at Emerald he added softly. “I thought I should let you know…”  
  
“Thank you, Harry.” Tom said softly as he moved forward and embraced the younger wizard. Harry smiled and returned the hug. Emerald hissed happily, feeling happy that the humans were at least comforting each other. In here both of them could forget that somewhere out there Voldemort was in hiding, biding his time.  
  
It made Harry wonder how much time they had until Voldemort would show up again and he couldn’t help but feel dread when that day came. Voldemort wanted him dead after all.  
  
“I won’t let any harm come to you. I will watch over you, Harry.” Tom whispered as if he could read his thoughts, while he placed a kiss on Harry’s forehead.  
  
Those moments when Tom showed him this gentle and caring side were rare and Harry soaked it all up, as he just buried himself deeper into Tom’s chest.  
  
“It should be the other way around.” Harry said with a small snort.  
  
Tom chuckled. “You’re a human, Harry… not a guardian angel.” Harry couldn’t help but notice the sad tone in Tom’s voice when he finished his sentence.  
  
“Still I will protect you as well, Tom. No matter what may happen.” Harry whispered.  
  
As Harry lay down and slowly drifted to sleep, Tom watched him, his fingers carefully moving over that familiar face. Harry remained asleep, unaware of the thoughts running through Tom’s mind.  
  
“What is it, master?” Emerald hissed softly.  
  
“I just have a bad feeling…” Tom admitted to the snake. Emerald wouldn’t understand it all; she hardly was capable of understanding humans and their strange emotions at all. Animals relied more on their instincts and Tom wish he could do the same.  
  
His feelings however were getting in the way every damn time. He didn’t know who he was trying to fool. Harry or himself.  
  
In a way Tom kept seeing Hadrian in the young boy and he knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t stop it at all. He also knew that he should keep this to himself. Harry didn’t quite like the thought that Tom only saw Hadrian and not Harry.  
  
It actually hurt him and Tom made sure that Harry wouldn’t ever find out… Somehow the thought of Harry hurting because of something he did felt awful.  
  
Tom shifted with a small sigh, his hand touching the small stones around his neck. His fingers slowly twirling the rose stone. Love… Was this feeling what he felt, could it be considered love? Did he love Harry? Or did he simply love Hadrian…? Or was it not even love, but something else that he didn’t quite understand… Honestly Tom just didn’t know anymore.  



	23. Visions of the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lives with Sirius and Tom in Grimmauld place. Voldemort thinks back on Hadrian and realizes he simply needs to see Harry for himself, because he needs to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters, but they are still rather short. Sorry about that. 
> 
> Anyway with these two done, I hope I will get my inspiration back a bit. Because it will not be long till we are nearing the end of this story. I can hardly believe it... Don't worry. It will not be the real end, because there will be a sequel. 
> 
> Basically it is going to be a long series xD...

### Chapter 22: Visions of the mind

The schoolyear came to an end and Harry had decided to spend the summer in Sirius’s house. Luna accepted it easily, saying she had already known that. Harry just smiled fondly at her, while shaking his head, making her smile brighten.  
  
It seemed like the blond girl had become more carefree and she wasn’t bullied as often anymore. Mostly because she was friends with him, he reasoned. But still it worked out fine. Although Luna had also explained to him that he was the first and only one, aside from her father, who accepted her and her strangeness.  
  
Harry had told her that he only liked her more because of what she was capable of doing. The mysterious air around her remained a mystery more often than not and he liked it. He simply knew that she was more knowledge than she let on. She had simply laughed at him, saying that he might be right on that.  
  
Harry was actually looking forward to go live with his godfather, until Sirius explained that his house was still a mess… and that was an understatement. ****  
  
Grimmauld Place was… Harry didn’t know how to subscribe it. From the outside it looked great, especially as Harry saw the house form in between two others. Magic would never cease to amaze him, but when he saw the inside of it... Simply put it looked like it was decaying right in front of their eyes… Harry didn’t mind cleaning, after all he had done it often enough when he lived with the Dursleys, but still.  
  
The whole house reeked and there were even objects that Sirius said not to touch, because the Black family was a dark wizarding family after all.  
  
All in all it took them 2 weeks before they finished. The house was finally completely liveable by then. The only downside was that the portrait of Walburga Black just wouldn’t come off and she would start screaming and yelling about unworthy people in her house. Eventually Tom had just appeared in her line of sight and told her to shut up.  
  
Instantly Walburga became silent, staring with wide eyes at the teenager standing there, and after that she never screamed at them again, for which Sirius and Harry were immensely grateful.  
  
Sirius was doing a bit better after a half year of visiting the mind healers. The treatments were very effective and he looked much better. He didn’t look like a stray anymore Harry had told him to the amusement of both Tom and Sirius.  
  
Tom surprisingly had changed his behaviours towards Sirius as well and Harry was kind of glad they at least didn’t kill each other. Well… Sirius didn’t know that Tom was Voldemort in a way, or a 16-year old version of the Dark Lord.  
  
Sirius only knew that Tom was Harry’s friend and had helped him, especially regarding the situation at the Dursleys. When Sirius had found out about that, he had simply wanted to go towards their house in Surrey and strangle them for treating his godson like a damned house-elf.  
  
Harry had glared at Tom, when he had told Sirius of the whole situation. Harry didn’t quite like it that his godfather knew about his relatives and how they had treated him. Tom hadn’t apologized to him about it and he wondered if it would hurt Tom to say that he was sorry.  
  
Of course Tom had also helped Sirius a lot and despite that his godfather thought it odd that Harry had a friend inside a diary, he was also happy for him. Though Harry had a feeling that Sirius seemed to watch Tom very closely at times. But whenever he asked about it Sirius would deny this and Tom said that he must be imaging it all.   
  
Remus also came by quite often and Harry kept in contact with his friends as well this time around. His once professor had asked him if he could help him, regarding his last year at Hogwarts and how he had reacted to the dementors.  
  
Harry had quite enjoyed Remus’s visits and he tried to master the patronus charm. This took him a few weeks.  
  
Honestly he had a bit trouble of picking a memory that was strong enough to fuel the spell. Every memory he had tried had only ended up in a small shield and it was easily broken.  
  
Eventually Harry picked the memory of giving Tom his birthday present, Emerald. It seemed to do the trick and Harry hated that he actually needed to lie to Remus about what his memory was. The worse part was that his patronus was a snake and Sirius had been utterly horrified by it. Remus not so much, his former professor had just laughed at it all. Everyone had believed that professor Lupin would remain as DADA teacher, but of course last minute everything went to hell.  
  
Snape had somehow revealed that Lupin was a werewolf and too many parents’ didn’t like the idea of such a dark creature teaching their children. Remus was forced to resign and Harry just couldn’t understand why Snape would do something like this.  
  
The man seemed to hate them all, even him, yet at the same time Snape had also saved him… Harry just didn’t understand him at all.  
  
Sirius and Remus had been immensely impressed when Harry had succeeded in casting a full corporal patronus charm in just a few weeks’ time.  
  
Tom as well, who had admitted he had never mastered the charm either. When Harry had questioned him about it Tom had shrugged, saying he didn’t have a memory that was strong enough either. Harry could easily relate to him and decided to come clean a bit.  
  
“I lied…” Harry said softly, eyeing Tom who sat near the desk in his new bedroom. Tom looked up from what he was reading. “I told you all I used the memory of finally getting to live here, but it was not.” Harry hadn’t felt comfortable in sharing the memory with anyone and hadn’t even told Tom the truth.  
  
Harry bit his bottom lip as he stared at Emerald who was lying on Tom’s shoulder. “The memory I used was of your birthday.”  
  
Tom didn’t react other than his eyes widened a small fraction, barely noticeable, but Harry had been looking at him intensely. “My birthday…” Tom muttered softly, staring at Harry as if he couldn’t fully process the thought.  
  
Harry’s lips turned upwards in a small smile. Tom closed the book after marking the page and made his way to Harry who was sitting on the bed. Slowly he sat down next to the younger wizard. “I feel honoured,” Tom spoke softly, as if he still couldn’t quite believe it. “To know that a memory of me was so strong for you to master the charm.”  
  
Harry gave a small nod and smiled at Emerald. He felt like he was admitting something more than just a memory that he used for the patronus charm and it made him feel vulnerable. Of course both of them knew that the memory and the feelings with that memory need to be strong and Harry looked up at Tom.  
  
Those dark eyes watched him with a kind of hunger that almost made Harry shiver, but then Tom smiled softly and leaned forward, placing a small kiss on Harry’s forehead. “Thanks, Harry.” Tom muttered. “Go to sleep. Your godfather will have my head if I keep you awake the whole night.”  
  
Harry laughed, knowing how true it was. As he fell asleep his dreams were filled with sounds of the sea and a presence besides him that he couldn’t quite see or feel. Yet he was aware that someone was there.   
  
He felt calm, despite not knowing where he was or what whom. A voice echoed through the realm, the voice sounded distant, yet close. Harry didn’t recognize the voice, yet it sounded eerily familiar.  
  
_‘Tom… you know what is stronger than a mother’s love for her child?’_  
  
“Tom?” Harry asked out loud, but instead of getting a reply he could only hear the waves crashing somewhere near him.  
  
When he awoke he didn’t recall his dream at all, but he woke up in a rather good mood.  
  
Sirius and also Remus were downstairs and Harry smiled brightly at them both. “Morning.” They greeted him back as Harry sat down they started eating, yet Harry noticed that Sirius almost seemed… giddy.  
  
Eventually when breakfast ended Harry learned why. His godfather told him about the Quidditch tournament that would be held and he them showed him three tickets.  
  
Harry stared at them and then jumped up embracing Sirius. He already knew of the event, because the Weasleys were going to go as well. He couldn’t believe they would be going.  
  
His day couldn’t possible get any better, Harry decided. No, life couldn’t get any better. Everything was simply right, the way things were now. He was happy and felt like he had a place where he belonged, just like he wished for.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“Your mother loved you Tom.” Hadrian whispered as they walked next to each other. Voldemort could feel the sand underneath his feet, but he stopped at those words and Hadrian stopped as well and glanced over his shoulder.  
  
Voldemort could feel the fury rushing through him. “She died…” He hissed furious. “If she was a witch then why did she die? If she truly loved me she would have fought for me!”  
  
“But she did…” Hadrian said sadly. “I remember the moment like it was yesterday, Tom. She was struggling, barely alive when you were born, but she tried to hold on. She tried so hard, but she was too weak…”  
  
“She was weak,” Voldemort snarled. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Hadrian blinked at him as Voldemort moved forward, walking past him with furious strides still.  
  
“She was a human, Tom. Eventually all humans die. Our souls move on and we are reborn.” Hadrian said as he caught up to Tom. Voldemort shook his head and let out a soft cold laugh.  
  
“Don’t be a fool, Hadrian.” Voldemort snapped.  
  
Hadrian stopped again and Voldemort didn’t even realise it. After a while he stopped as well noticing that his angel wasn’t walking besides or behind him anymore. Turning around he saw Hadrian standing there, watching the ocean. Those beautiful white wings moved slowly with the wind and Voldemort grumbled softly as he made his way back.  
  
Times like these he simply couldn’t understand Hadrian. For he simply didn’t know love like his guardian angel did and he didn’t want to think about his deceased mother. How she had abandoned him to a life in that miserable orphanage.  
  
“Tom… you know what is stronger than a mother’s love for her child?” Hadrian asked him when he was close enough and Voldemort fought the urge to leave or simply wake up.  
  
But as Hadrian looked him deep into his eyes he hesitated. “An angel’s love is more powerful than a mother’s love for her child, Tom. I will always love you, no matter what may happen. No matter if you turn your back on me completely. I will be there, always.”  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Red slitted eyes opened slowly, waking up from those awful or nice memories. Once long ago those memories were the moments he lived for. How life had changed when he met Hadrian and how life had changed when he just left him.  
  
After all those promises of ‘ _always_ ’ and ‘ _forever_ ’, Hadrian had just left…  
  
Voldemort blinked up, his body weak, small and fragile. Barty crouched down close to him. “My Lord, everything is in place…”  
  
At least Barty was still faithful, unlike all the others that he abandoned him, believing him to be dead. Didn’t they know that he made sure to live forever?  
  
“Good…” He said with a raspy voice. Nagini curled around him, protectively and he smiled a bit. “Make sure to get the boy somehow… nothing else matters. Am I clear, Barty?”  
  
“Yes, my Lord!” Barty exclaimed as he bowed down again and then left, leaving him alone again. Red eyes looked towards the newspapers on the table. Wormtail was dead and Sirius Black was freed, took them several years to find out the truth. He couldn’t say he missed the cowering rat, but he had been… useful.  
  
At least that is what he thought back then. Now, he didn’t know so sure. He shifted a bit, but his body was so small, it made him cringe. Yet it was better than living like a mere ghost.  
  
Red eyes glared down at his tiny hand. ‘ _Don’t. You can’t touch me… not even in your dreams would you be able to touch me. It will end like your last dream._ ’ Hadrian’s words echoed through his mind.  
  
It was impossible to touch an angel, a being so pure… yet…

_‘Angels are beings from another dimension. We are souls existing in the world of humans, but once we too were human. Every soul is reborn and our souls have crossed paths throughout different lives. That is why I was chosen as your guardian angel, because our souls are familiar to each other. I felt it when I first laid my eyes upon you Tom.’_  
  
Those emerald eyes obscured by glasses came to mind. How the touch had burned Quirrell and him. Harry Potter’s touch had burned him… He had been unable to touch the young wizard…  
  
Voldemort needed to know. He needed to know for sure. The potion… If he was fully resurrected in a stronger body, he could hand Harry Potter the potion. It would bring Hadrian back.    
  
His tiny hand became a fist and his body trembled. His breath becoming heavy, but he didn’t care. Hadrian… Harry. He needed the boy, needed to see him, to touch him, to _know_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left kudos, comments and so on ^-^!! I could hardly believe it when i noticed this story reached more than 900 kudos... like hell, how did this happen at all...  
> So many, many thanks once more! 
> 
> Like I said in the chapter notes at the beginning. We might(might,, because knowing me everything could change and it will be longer than i am assuming now) be soon reaching the end of this story, but there will be a sequel. So I hope you all look forward to even more XD... 
> 
> Anyway cya next update :)


	24. Voldemort’s Resurrection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last three chapters are finished, so I will update them in one go. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy and aren’t too angry with me :P.

### Chapter 23: Voldemort’s Resurrection

Harry honestly didn’t know what was worse, travelling with a portkey or the floo. Both were just horrible in their own way, but his first time with both ended up quite awful. Sirius had laughed at him when he had landed on his bottom after letting go of the portkey, before extending his hand to help him up.  
  
“Wait till you learn to apparate!” Sirius exclaimed with another bark of laughter and Harry sighed as he turned his gaze towards Remus, who had a fond smile on his face. He already greatly disliked side-along apparition.   
  
They waited on the gathering point till the Weasleys would arrive as well. Harry was happy that even Hermione seemed to come along. The only persons he would most probably miss were both Luna and Tom. Harry had said that he wouldn’t leave the diary behind and Tom had insisted, since the diary was safe in the Black house anyway.  
  
Tom also said that he didn’t like Quidditch at all and no one could see him standing there anyway. So there was no use of him coming with them if he had to hide inside the diary.  
  
In the end Harry had accepted defeat and hid the diary in the drawer of his bedside table. Tom had said that he would simply wait till Harry would return and Harry had said he would miss him, to which Tom had placed a small kiss on his forehead and then proceeded to tell him to make sure he had fun out there.    
  
Remus was still unaware of Tom and it was better that not many people knew about him after all. Sirius kept quiet about Tom’s presence and even told him to hide when he knew Remus was coming to visit them.  
  
Harry had often wondered if Sirius would still protect Tom if he knew who Tom really was. Tom had shrugged and said he didn’t know either, but Sirius was at least not out to betray them, so that was good.  
  
“Harry!” A voice screamed and Harry glanced over, seeing Hermione running towards him and before he knew it, she had her arms already wrapped around him in a tight hug. Pulling back she smiled brightly at him. “You look good.” She commented, as she looked over him.  
  
Harry laughed. “Sirius makes sure that I don’t starve,” Harry said with a grin towards his godfather, briefly thinking back on his summers and life at the Dursleys. “I dare say he is even a bit too overprotective about me and he worries way too much.” Harry continued on with a grin as he fought back those awful memories.  
  
Sirius grumbled something and Harry knew his godfather was most likely cursing the Dursleys in his mind. After the World Cup Sirius would take them to court for what they did. Harry couldn’t say he was looking forward to it…  
  
Remus had also agreed that the Dursleys needed to be get a trial for the way they had treated him. In the end nothing Harry said could make a difference. Even Tom had agreed with it all, Harry should have known he would, knowing that Tom’s past wasn’t as bright either.  
  
But he had hoped that Tom would be on his side…  
  
The Weasleys also approached them and Harry smiled at them all.  Even Mr. Weasley said he looked much better and it felt kind of strange that so many people noticed it all. They had never said anything before knowing the truth. Well Ron and the twins had of course seen how he had been locked inside his room, with the bars in front of his window.  
  
Yet Harry never completely told them about everything. The problem was he would need to tell everything in the courtroom and that is why he didn’t look forward to the trial.  
  
They even meet Malfoy and his father, who apparently had been invited by the Minister himself. Harry had just ignored their bragging about those high positions they had. But he did look at the elder Malfoy, for it was thanks to him that Tom’s diary was in his possession now.  
  
Well, he had made the diary fall into Ginny’s hands first. Those grey eyes watched him as well and it felt unnerving. There was something in that gaze that made Harry wary. Before they left Lucius had smirked at them and it was clear that the elder Malfoy was enjoying himself way too much. “Do enjoy yourself, while you can.” Lucius said, his eyes fixing upon him once again, as if the words were meant especially for him.  
  
Sirius wanted to rush forward to hit the blond male, but Remus held him back and with a sneer both Malfoys walked away. Harry felt dread inside him, even though he didn’t know why. But as Arthur steered him away, the rest followed and Harry pushed down the feeling.  
  
They were up way higher than Harry had thought they would be and Harry looked down at the Quidditch field beneath them. With wide eyes he looked at all the stands that were slowly filling in. This was amazing, even Hermione didn’t seem to mind being here, despite that she didn’t like Quidditch at all. Maybe he should have persuaded Tom to come along someway… Harry thought sadly.  
  
Ginny, Ron and even the Weasley twins seemed to be in their element here and Harry smiled at seeing them all happy and with a bright smile on their face, his darkening mood disappearing slightly.  
  
The Irish team came up and everyone cheered loudly, but when the Bulgarian team entered the field, the whole stadium seemed to scream one name. _‘Krum._ ’  
  
“Who is that?” Hermione asked and Harry wondered about it as well.  
  
“The best seeker in centuries!” Ron exclaimed loudly, smiling at them both. Harry returned the smile and looked towards the Bulgarian seeker as he flew over the field.  
  
The match was awesome to see and Harry felt happy to see someone else in action as a Seeker, especially someone who seemed to be so famous and he could admit that Victor Krum was truly a great seeker.  
  
Both teams however played pretty well and their scores were often close to each other, until Bulgaria took the lead. The snitch was still nowhere in sight, despite that both Seekers had flown across the whole field.  
  
Harry hadn’t even spotted it either, while his eyes were also trained upon finding that small golden ball.  
  
Eventually the match ended in a win for Ireland as the seeker caught the snitch. But it was a match well played and Sirius howled loudly as it ended. As did the whole stadium.  
  
They had set up tents where they would be sleeping and Harry’s eyes widened as he entered the tent behind Sirius.

“I love magic…” He whispered still amazed by so many things he had no knowledge of. Remus walked past him chuckling at his dumfounded expression. The tent was much bigger on the inside than the outside.  
  
“Expansion charms, quite handy.” Remus said as explanation and Harry smiled up at his former professor.  
  
“Can I go to the Weasleys?” Harry asked them both and both nodded.  
  
Harry moved past all the tents, knowing that the Weasleys were somewhere near the end of this row. He found them as he saw Ron and Ginny standing outside, clearly waiting for him. “Heey.” He said as he approached them.  
  
Inside the tent the Weasley twins were still laughing and cheering on the Irish team for their win, just like most people did outside. Mr. Weasley just shook his head fondly and the evening passed quite quickly.  
  
Harry blinked as the sounds outside seemed to change a bit and he saw Mr. Weasley carefully moving towards the entrance of the tent, also wary of the sudden change. It seemed like none of the other Weasleys noticed it, but Harry got up when Mr. Weasley turned out and ushered them out.  
  
“Go find Sirius and Remus and get away from here.” Arthur urged them on and Harry saw spells clashing somewhere in the distance when they got outside. Ginny let out a shocked yelp and Hermione stared with wide eyes at the scenes. In the distance they could hear screams filled with horror and fear.  
  
Harry didn’t wait any longer. “Come on!” He screamed as he made his way back to the other tent. The others followed, but when Harry entered it was empty. “Fuck…” He cursed.  
  
Where were they? Better yet… where was Tom when he needed him? Tom would know what to do in such a situation… Harry shook his head. Tom wasn’t here… he needed to get out on his own somehow, preferable with everyone he cared for alive and well.  
  
“Where could they have gone too?” Ginny asked, scared and confused.  
  
“Most likely fighting whoever is out there…” Harry replied as he turned around and they went outside again. Fires burned the tents nearby and Harry saw a few masked persons shooting curses that he didn’t even know.  
  
“Let’s get out of here.” Hermione yelled and Harry felt how she pulled him along. They ran towards the edge of the campsite, hoping that they were safe there, but there was another group of those masked men and Harry raised his wand. “Stupefy!” He screamed, but the person easily blocked it. He didn’t care about using underage magic at this point. He would defend himself and those he cared for, no matter what.  
  
“Don’t!” Another voice screamed from their side and Harry felt a powerful spell hit him and his friends. “We need him alive!”  
  
“‘Moine!” Ron screamed and Harry got up, as he heard ringing in his ears, but the words had registered in his mind nonetheless. Where they after him? Harry got up and looked around seeing Hermione laying there, clearly unconscious. Ron’s eyes were wide as he crawled towards her and held her. The twins recovered more quickly and defended them all.  
  
Harry saw more black cloaked persons appearing around them and he took a step back, tightening his grip on his wand.  This was pure chaos… he had never seen something like this.  
  
A person approached him and he raised his wand at the blond-haired male, who stared at him with a wicked smile.  
  
“Gotcha…” He said softly and Harry frowned, not seeing the stunner going towards his back. Though he did hear one of the twins and Ginny scream his name. As he blacked out, the only thought he had was that he was fucked…  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“What do you fucking mean!? Why is Harry nowhere to be found!?” Sirius screamed. Everyone stared at the male with sadness. Remus also looked distressed and the aurors were silent.  
  
“Mrs. Weasley,” The auror gestured towards Ginny Weasley. “said that he got hit and taken away, Fred and George Weasley confirmed this, as they tried to stop it from happening,” A small sigh escaped Kingsley mouth as he continued in a softer tone. “We have tried to trace Harry Potter down, but he must be somewhere where strong wards are keeping the tracking spell out.” Kingsley muttered. Tonks also looked sad.  
  
All the Weasleys were silent as the words registered. Harry was gone…  
  
Hermione cast her gaze down, feeling helpless in how she had blacked out and been unable to do anything.  
  
Sirius suddenly started screaming again, not believing this and eventually they had to put him to sleep, because he was just so out of control. After that the aurors left and Remus sat down next to the sleeping Sirius with a heavy sigh. Arthur approached him slowly and put a hand on top of his shoulder. “I am sorry…”  
  
Remus shook his head and gathered his courage as he looked up from Sirius’s sleeping body. “You couldn’t have known. We got mixed up in the fight, while we should have protected the children.”  
  
“Indeed…” Arthur muttered sadly, eyeing his own sons and daughter. They were still so young; they shouldn’t have witnessed this at all. He hoped that somehow they would be able to track Harry, who had become part of his family during the past three years.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Voldemort looked up when both Barty and Lucius entered the room. Harry Potter’s body floating behind them unconscious. Red slitted eyes looked at the small figure and then ordered Lucius to leave and go to the potion and make sure that everything was ready.  
  
“Barty, come here. Bring Harry closer as well.” Voldemort rasped out and the other male followed his order immediately.  
  
Voldemort carefully stretched his hand out as Barty placed the unconscious boy next to him on the couch. “Leave… go help Lucius.” He ordered and Barty left, not even questioning him.  
  
Voldemort resisted the urge to reach out and touch Harry for some time, before his curiosity got the better of him. He needed to test it after all, he needed to know.  
  
His tiny hand landed slowly upon Harry’s, but immediately he felt the pain go through him and he pulled back quickly, before any lasting damage could be done. Harry also let out a small whimper, but remained unconscious.  
  
His suspicions were confirmed now; he truly could not touch the boy. Red eyes glanced up at the young face, without glasses. He wondered since when Harry Potter didn’t wear his glasses anymore. Last time he had seen him was almost 3 years ago and he could remember those awful glasses clearly, obscuring those emerald bright eyes.    
  
Voldemort wondered if those emerald eyes would shine brighter without those glasses, just like Hadrian’s… But he could not risk it now. Harry needed to remain asleep during the ritual. It was better if the boy was unaware of the dark ritual that will take place. That he will participate in even.  
  
A hesitant knock sounded on the door and Voldemort fixed his gaze upon it. “My Lord… everything is ready.” Lucius’s voice said from the other side.  
  
Nagini curled around him, also gazing at Harry as Voldemort smirked briefly. His resurrection, finally he would get back a body that was not weak like this.  
  
He called them to enter and Barty also walked into the room. Carefully Barty picked him up and Lucius let Harry float after them as well. Voldemort’s eyes stayed on Harry’s small frame. With this ritual he would be able to touch him. Blood magic was strong after all.  
  
They entered the graveyard where a big cauldron was standing, the potion inside it already boiling. Nagini slithered after them and Voldemort could hear her hissing that the humans should just hurry up already.  
  
Carefully Lucius placed Harry’s body on the ground and then walked towards the cauldron. His steps faltering slightly, because he would be forced to cut off his hand. Voldemort smirked at the blonde. Payment for whatever may have happened to his diary. He had been furious when Lucius explained it.  
  
Barty had told him that the Chamber of Secrets had been reopened again and Voldemort knew he was the only one who could, so he had ordered Barty to bring Lucius to him. Apparently however young Harry was also a parselmouth. A lot had been revealed and Voldemort didn’t quite know yet what to do with it all.  
  
All in all, the diary was never found. Lucius had said that even Albus had searched for it, but it was simply gone.  
  
Voldemort didn’t like the idea of not knowing where one of his horcruxes was. Lucius would pay a heavy price for it all.  
  
Once he had a body back that was powerful Lucius would realise the error of his mistakes.

Lucius glanced at them and then waved his wand at the open grave nearby, a small bone floating out of it. "Bone of the father, unknowingly given,” Lucius said as the bone was dropped into the cauldron. “You will renew your son.”  
  
Lucius’s hand trembled as he extracted a knife from beneath his robe. “Flesh of the servant, willingly given,” Lucius’s voice stammered slightly and Voldemort chuckled lowly, but it went unheard by Lucius, though both Nagini and Barty heard it. The blond male placed the knife on his wrists and with a deep breath he cut it off above the cauldron, a pained scream coming from his throat, before he forced his lips closed. “You will revive your master.” He gasped out through the pain.  
  
Lucius bit his bottom lip and quickly healed the wound, to make sure that it stopped bleeding at least. He walked over to Harry, cleaning the knife in the process and made a small cut in the boy’s arm, drawing blood. The liquid bubbled dangerous, but Voldemort saw that it was in the right stage.  
  
“Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe.” Lucius said as he dropped a few drops of Harry’s blood in the potion.  
  
“Barty.” Voldemort said and the male walked over to the cauldron, dropping him inside.  
  
Hot liquid touched his whole body, as he felt the potion start to work and create another body for him. His limbs and bones were twisted in the most awful ways and he gulped down some of the potion as he let out a pained gasp.  
  
His small body grew taller and stronger and before he even knew it, he was standing with two feet on a solid ground. He opened his eyes and stared at his naked feet. He felt a cloak being draped over him and silently he pulled it over his naked body.  
  
He examined his hands and then touched his head, still feeling the bald head, but he had grown used to it during the years. “My Lord!” Barty exclaimed excited and Voldemort grinned. He was back. He turned around, facing both Lucius and Barty, who were kneeling down in front of him.  
  
“My wand, Barty,” Voldemort said, stretching his hand out. Barty grinned up at him and handed him his wand back. “Thank you, my faithful follower.”  
  
He raised his wand towards Lucius and without even uttering a single word, the blond started to convulse and scream as the torture curse hit him. Barty’s tongue came out, a small tick that showed his excitement and Voldemort laughed.  
  
He was back, he was alive again… He stopped the curse when Lucius’s voice broke. “This is merely the start of your punishment, Lucius…” Voldemort hissed at the blond, who lay there gasping for breath. “Dismissed…”  
  
Barty immediately apparated away, but Lucius had some trouble with it and Voldemort didn’t move until the other wizard was gone.  
  
Then he fixed his attention back on Harry, who was still laying there blissfully aware of what had occurred.  
  
Carefully he approached the young boy and crouched down next to him. With his free hand he removed a few strands of that black hair that had fallen in front of those closed eyes, exposing the scar upon his forehead in the process.  
  
Voldemort didn’t focus upon the mark he had left upon the child years ago however. No, his only thought was that he could touch him now. This time the touch didn’t burn him or hurt him in any way. Red-slitted eyes stared down at the sleeping child with glee and his mouth curved upwards in a grin. “Hadrian.”  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Harry slowly blinked his eyes open, wondering where he was. The first thing he became aware of was that he was lying on a bed, unfamiliar bed. He shot up and looked around, but his eyes immediately fixed upon the figure sitting next to him.  
  
His heart was beating quicker all of a sudden. The person stared back at him with an unreadable look. He was bald and the red eyes were slitted and he had nostrils instead of nose. It looked like someone from a horror movie…  
  
Yet Harry felt that feeling deep down inside of him. The need to protect… Without a doubt, he was looking at Voldemort now…  
  
He opened his mouth, but he felt as if he couldn’t get a word out at all. “Tom…” Harry eventually got out. Those red eyes widened briefly and then narrowed.  
  
“How do you know that name?” Voldemort asked with a slight hiss in his voice. Harry shook his head, still staring at him, full of disbelief and shock. Why hadn’t he taken the diary with him?  
  
Voldemort inched closer, those red eyes never leaving his and he could feel a slight probing against his mind. He gulped and let down his Occlumency shields, letting the other in.  
  
Memory after memory rushed through him and Harry was aware that the other wizard was watching them all.  
  
Harry also felt the moment Voldemort pulled back. “My diary…” Voldemort muttered softly, red eyes staring at him. “You protected it all this time.”  
  
Harry gave a tense nod, as he shifted a bit. Getting more comfortable he looked at Voldemort. “I… Luna, a friend of mine, said that I once was your Guardian Angel. Hadrian…”  
  
Voldemort almost looked like a statue, if it wasn’t for those red eyes blinking at him. “Hadrian…” Voldemort said softly as he raised his hand and Harry froze as it cupped his cheek. The lipless mouth seemed to curve upwards.  
  
“Yes, you look like him… and you feel like him,” Voldemort said softly. “I could not touch him however… but taking your blood during the ritual has fixed that it seems.”  
  
Harry felt the thumb move over his cheek, thinking on the other’s words and how different Voldemort was now than when he met him during his first year. Those red eyes never left his face. “But you do not remember, do you?” Voldemort asked him softly.  
  
Harry shook his head slowly, not moving away from the hand. Voldemort seemed like he needed this all, at least that was what Harry’s intuition told him and Luna had said to him that he should listen to it.  
  
The thumb stopped moving and it seemed like Voldemort was thinking. “There is a potion I created way back… I want you to take it.”  
  
Harry gave a small nod, not entirely certain about it. “What kind of potion?” He asked unsure if he should just accept anything like that, without knowing the consequences.  
  
“It gives you back the memories of your previous lives,” Voldemort replied. “But first we must make sure that the diary is safe…”  
  
Harry couldn’t fault him for that, because he himself was truly worried about Tom now. “Why… why don’t you want to kill me anymore?” Harry felt the need to ask him, because it was clear that somehow the Dark Lord didn’t want him dead right now.  
  
“Because I want to know for certain,” Voldemort said, still staring at him and Harry found it highly unnerving. “I want to know whether you are Hadrian yes or no… Whether you pose a threat yes or no…” Voldemort whispered softly.  
  
And for that reason Voldemort wanted him to take the potion. Harry could understand it and he accepted it. “How... how can I get the diary now?”  
  
“I will drop you off near the house, but I cannot enter it, since it is protected with a Fidelius charm.” Voldemort said and Harry knew that, since Sirius had explained it when he started to live with him the first time.  
  
Sirius was the secret keeper however, so Harry couldn’t just tell Voldemort where it was either. “You go inside and get the diary and we leave again, unseen. We wait a few days and act while I make sure they are distracted.” Voldemort finished his explanation.  
  
Harry wanted to argue with that, because Tom might start to worry about him. He had no idea if Sirius knew how to contact Tom, but his godfather didn’t know where the diary was hidden. Yet to wait for a few days… Harry didn’t like it one bit.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
“Gabriel…” Michael muttered softly. He hadn’t expected everything that had happened. Everything was going out of control now.  
  
If Harry took that potion it was over. There was no way that Harry or rather Hadrian would want to wake up ever again.  
  
Gabriel sighed softly. “It is their choices, Michael. There is nothing we can do. If Tom decided to go through with it and hands Harry the potion, he will deeply regret it.”  
  
Michael shook his head. “But he will… Tom will give him that potion and Harry will drink it, because Tom wants him to!” His voice grew louder with every word.  
  
“Yes… Harry will most likely drink the potion if Tom hands it to him.” Gabriel said softly, eyeing the two wizards carefully. “Regret will be his downfall then… Regret will destroy him completely.”  
  
“Is that it!? Harry must pay the price for this!” Michael screamed.  
  
“I am not certain…” Gabriel said with a slight frown. Michael’s eyes widened at those words.  
  
“What do you mean?” Michael asked him.  
  
Gabriel shook her head. “I think we can only wait and see, Michael. Time will tell…”  
  
Gabriel left and Michael turned his gaze back towards Tom and Harry.


	25. The Potion

### Chapter 24: The Potion

 

*Hold it together, birds of a feather,  
Nothing but lies and crooked wings.  
I have the answer, spreading the cancer,  
You are the faith inside me.

No, don't  
Leave me to die here,  
Help me survive here.  
Alone, don't _remember, remember._

Put me to sleep evil angel.  
Open your wings evil angel.

_*Lyrics from Evil Angel from Breaking Benjamin_

**Dreamscape:**  
“Tom, what you are doing is wrong…” Hadrian muttered as Voldemort entered the dreamscape.  
  
“I will most likely never use the potion…” Voldemort said with a shrug as he sat down on the sand beneath him, staring at the sea in front of him. Hadrian gave a small sigh and sat down close next to him.  
  
“You are using those humans as mere guinea pigs, Tom. It isn’t right.” Hadrian said softly.  
  
“They wake up again, most of the times... Their minds just need time to heal,” Voldemort stated. “It isn’t like I am killing them, Hadrian.” He then said as he glanced sideways to his angel.  
  
Hadrian smiled sadly as he shook his head. “Sometimes you really are a fool, Tom…” Because some of the test subjects that Tom had used hadn’t woken up again and Hadrian had a feeling that they would forever be in a coma.  
  
Voldemort sneered and looked away and Hadrian laughed at his expression, wanting to forget about those lives that were maybe forever lost. “You know Dumbledore is right that there are worse things than death.”  
  
“No, he is not.” Voldemort snapped. Hadrian just hummed softly and looked towards the sea, knowing when he had to let something drop. And honestly Albus Dumbledore’s name alone was enough to get Tom riled up.    
  
“Would you ever drink the potion, Tom?” Hadrian asked all of a sudden and the Dark Lord glanced sideways.  
  
“No… I don’t think I will.” Voldemort replied.  
  
Green eyes turned sad. “You want to though. Deep down you want your memories of the life where we were lovers. Of the life were you could touch me.”  
  
Voldemort looked away and remained quiet. Both of them knew that Hadrian was right, but they were also aware that Voldemort would never drink the potion himself.  
  
“At times like these, I feel like the other angels are right,” Hadrian said softly. “I feel like I am failing you…”  
  
Voldemort chuckled softly. “How could you fail me…? You are the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”  
  
Hadrian laughed. The sound mixing with the waves in front of them and a soft smile appeared on Voldemort’s mouth. “True… true.” The angel whispered softly.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------- ****  
  
Two days passed and Harry was certain that Tom would be either furious or completely worried sick about him. Harry didn’t know why, but he just knew it was one of those. At times he thought he could feel something strange inside his mind, like an irritable itch that he couldn’t quite reach.

 

Harry suspected it was coming from the connection he had with Tom and Voldemort also seemed to be able to feel it. But it felt kind of weak, like somehow it was being blocked. When he asked about it, Voldemort had said it was nothing and he should simply ignore it. Harry knew however the other was lying, because something felt off.  
  
At the same time Voldemort was completely immersed in creating the potion, which would be finished today as well, so Harry was often left on his own. Nagini was good company, at least…  
  
He still could hardly believe that Voldemort had once been Tom, but still if he looked closely enough he could indeed still see Tom’s features in the snake like face. Something inside him was hurting for the way Tom had turned out and he wondered if he was somehow feeling Hadrian’s feelings.  
  
Voldemort and Harry had kept to themselves most of the time, until the two days had passed.  
  
Voldemort had explained that his Death Eaters were going to attack and create a diversion. Because then the odds were high that both Black and Lupin would leave to help fight the Death Eaters off, because they had been once inside Dumbledore’s Order.  
  
His resurrection was still a secret, but the fact that his Death Eaters were out there now, was making the people of magical Britain remember what it was like in the first wizarding war. Harry didn’t approve of it and had told the Dark Lord so.  
  
Voldemort had just stared at him and then walked away, which Harry thought was odd behaviour for the Dark Lord. But at the same time Harry didn’t really know him… Because Voldemort was different than Tom.  
  
It was later in the afternoon when Voldemort approached him again and Harry glanced up from Nagini, who was curling on the bed in front of him.  
  
“Good, we go now.” Voldemort said as he extended his hand. Harry sighed deeply and got up. Accepting the hand as Voldemort pulled him closer to him and then the awful feeling of apparition went through him. His hands tightly clenched into the black robes of Voldemort, even as he stumbled slightly when they landed.  
  
Harry shook his head, trying to clear it. “Go.” Voldemort urged him into the right direction. Harry just gave a small nod and walked carefully towards the house. Voldemort had placed a very strong Disillusionment charm on him, so he was at least invisible.  
  
As he entered slowly and carefully, he noticed the eerie silence, indicating that the house was empty. Quickly he moved up the stairs and went into his room. He opened the drawer and wanted to pull the diary out, only to widen his eyes when said diary was not in the drawer anymore. “Fuck…” Harry cursed softly.  
  
His heart was beating in his throat as he realised that Tom was gone… the diary was gone. No, it couldn’t be… Had Tom took it and left? But where would he have gone off to?  
  
Harry shook his head, not believing that Tom would just leave like this. Or had Sirius found it? Handed it over to maybe Dumbledore?  
  
Those thoughts only made Harry’s mind go darker and he fought back his feelings. He needed to get out… before they came back and found him. He made his way downstairs again, only to freeze when the front door opened.

  
“I can’t believe this…” Sirius muttered fiercely. Harry hadn’t expected them to be back this quickly. Was the raid already over…?  
  
“Sirius, calm down!” Remus said. “We will find out what happened to Harry.”  
  
Harry opened his mouth, but stopped himself… He was here for Tom… but still Sirius and Remus had become his family. Could he just leave them behind like this…?  
  
In a way maybe he couldn’t… but if he had to choose, his choice would always be Tom. Whether he looked like a monster or a human. Harry closed his eyes, maybe this were Hadrian’s feelings instead of his own…  
  
As green eyes opened again he looked as Remus and Sirius sat down on the couch. It would be so simply, just let them know he was there, but instead he buried all his feelings for them.  
  
“The Death Eaters act as if they don’t even know about Harry…” Sirius screamed, frustrated as he buried his head in his hands.  
  
Remus sat down next to him with a heavy sigh. “Harry is a strong and capable wizard, even for his age, Sirius. He will be alright.”  
  
Harry gritted his teeth and carefully walked towards the front door. His heart thundering in his chest, but there was no way he could let them know… They wouldn’t understand it.  
  
Hell, he himself hardly understood everything that had been happening, but he knew for certain that he didn’t want to lose Tom. Almost silently he opened the front door and closed it again. Quickly he moved away, as he could already hear Sirius’s voice screaming.  
  
The door opened after he had excited and Sirius’s eyes scanned the seemingly empty street in front of him. Remus stopped next to him, placing a hand upon the wizard’s shoulder. “Sirius…”  
  
“I heard something; I swear I did, Moony.” Sirius muttered.  
  
Harry bit his bottom lip. “I am sorry…” He said softly, but both their eyes widened when they heard the soft whisper. Harry knew that was his cue to leave and he quickly turned around, while both Remus and Sirius screamed his name.  
  
Voldemort was still standing on the same place, a glamour that made him appear human. Those black eyes looked up, seeing the two wizards scout the street. Harry slowly stopped next to him and Voldemort turned around with a slight hiss. “Harry,” He hissed softly, knowing that the boy could hear him. “What did you do now?”  
  
Harry followed the other wizard as Voldemort started to walk away and Remus and Sirius ran past them. He kept his mouth tightly shut. Both of them were distressed and Harry wondered if it was better if he hadn’t revealed himself.  
  
Eventually when they were out of their sight Voldemort dropped the glamour and the Disillusionment charms. A hand pulled him closer and Harry clenched his eyes shut as the feeling of apparition went through him.  
  
The hand shoved him backward. “What did you do?” Voldemort hissed out. Harry could hear the anger. “You had one mission, get the diary and get out and don’t give me the rubbish that they saw you, because that is impossible.”  
  
Harry glanced up, seeing those red splitted eyes narrowed at him in barely restrained fury. Voldemort’s magic circled around him, clearly wanting to get out and he was secretly surprised by Voldemort’s control…  
  
“He is my godfather… I said I was sorry,” Harry said. He didn’t feel like he had done anything wrong. “I care for them, Tom.”  
  
Voldemort stared at him and Harry was utterly confused and shocked when the Dark Lord simply turned around and said. “Don’t call me by that name…”  
  
Harry opened his mouth and then shut it again as he stared at the wizard’s back. “You have the diary?” Voldemort asked as he moved towards the door, but glanced over his shoulder to Harry.  
  
“Uh…” Harry started and Voldemort stopped. Harry saw the shift and felt it.  
  
“Where is it!?” Voldemort screamed as he swirled around and faced him again.  
  
“I don’t know!” Harry screamed back, his voice just as desperate sounding as Voldemort’s. “The diary wasn’t where I left it. Tom must have left or… I think he might be searching for me…” Harry muttered softly. At least he hoped that Tom was somewhere safe and not in Dumbledore’s hands…  
  
Voldemort stood frozen there for one second longer, before he relaxed and closed his eyes with a deep sigh. “It matters not. I will search for him later,” Voldemort said and then walked out of the room. “Come…”  
  
Harry still felt dread inside his body, but followed the other. When they entered the bedroom Harry looked towards the Dark Lord. “Sit down… the potion will revive your lost memories, but it may hurt.” Voldemort sounded slightly hesitant as he admitted this.  
  
Harry just gave a small nod as he sat down and looked up at Voldemort, who handed him a small potion vial. The liquid inside it was clear, though it had a blue-ish tint to it. “Is it dangerous?” Harry asked him softly.  
  
When no answer came, he looked up seeing Voldemort stare down at him with an unreadable look. “No… just drink it.” Voldemort ordered softly.  
  
Harry’s hand clenched around the vial. His thoughts went back to Tom and where the other could possibly be. But Tom wasn’t here right now and Voldemort was… and he had promised this to Voldemort so without any hesitation left he uncorked the vial. No smell came from the potion vial and Harry brought it to his mouth. Green eyes meeting red, who seemed slightly… anxious.  
  
Voldemort had every reason to be. This would prove whether he was Hadrian yes or no and it was clear that the Dark Lord wanted this proof. Harry closed his eyes and gulped down the potion.  
  
The effect was not immediate and Harry wondered if it had worked at all. Just as he was about to ask Voldemort if the potion was brewed correctly, a pain went through his head.  
  
With a pained scream his hands came up, pulling at his hair, as if he could somehow lessen the horrible pain inside his brain. Two hands grabbed his, forcing him to let go. His whole body convulsed, but he couldn’t feel anything anymore.  
  
Memories that were not his swept through his mind. His mind couldn’t process it all and he wanted it to stop, but he had no control over it whatsoever.  
  
A voice screamed that he should stop and focus, but it felt useless as the memories rushed through him, unstoppable and so many. Many memories that went back centuries even. Green pained eyes opened meeting those red eyes that seemed to be filled with something like regret.  
  
He knew… Voldemort, no Tom knew that this would happen and handed him the potion nonetheless…    
  
Harry… no Hadrian had warned him for this… The memory came forth like it was his.  
  
“I warned you….” Harry gasped out…  Voldemort’s eyes widened at those words. “I told you… a human’s mind is not capable of handling so many memories…” Harry rasped out through the pain as his whole body trembled. Tears streamed down from those green eyes.  
  
_‘Not that I know of… I think a human mind isn’t capable of holding so many memories, Tom. It would destroy the person’s mind. Please don’t do something so stupid.’_ Hadrian whispered.  
  
“Hadrian…” Voldemort whispered, sounding hopeful and yet the voice was also filled with guilt at what he had done.  
  
Harry let out a gasping breath and closed his eyes, drowning in all the memories that were unlocked now and had free reign, tearing through his mind… “You stupid fool…” Harry muttered as his mind slowly fell apart.  
  
He could hear Voldemort scream his name, but his brain just completely shut down.  
  
Thousands, millions of memories rushed through him and Harry drowned in all of them, unable to stop it.  
  
Somewhere in the distance he could hear a loud crack and it felt as if arms wrapped around him. A black shadow hovered above him and Harry blinked at it, his eyes dull and distant. Small windows surrounded them and in every one of them played a memory. All his memories of his previous lives and Harry closed his eyes as he felt the shadow close the distance between them.  
  
It felt cold… Everything felt cold, but the shadow however felt warm, but he was afraid that he would burn himself against it. “Harry.” A breathy whisper came from it.  
  
_‘Harry?’_  
  
Right… that was one of his lives. He had been named Harry, Harry James Potter. Had he died in that life? He couldn’t remember. Everything was like a blur and before he could fully focus upon it, the thoughts inside his mind became a jumbled mess as the memories pulled him under.  
  
The shadow was torn away from him and he could hear it scream as it tried to reach him. His eyes blinked open a few times, seeing how desperate the shadow was. The windows were still there and he could hear so many voices… Too many voices even. It sounded far too loud and the scream from the shadow was slowly drowned in the noise until he couldn’t hear it anymore.  
  
Mindlessly, he drifted there in the darkness, surrounded by all those memories as the shadow faded away, his scream unheard.  
  
What had happened? Was this some kind of hell?  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Tom knew something had gone terribly wrong. Harry had not returned after the World cup tournament and upon returning Sirius had explained that Death Eaters had kidnapped Harry.  
  
Tom simply couldn’t remain with Sirius anymore and had gone to Luna, hoping to get some answers to where Harry could be.  
  
The blond girl must have seen or heard something, but she had explained that she was not allowed to tell him. It was just two days that he needed to wait… Then he would get the sign she told him.  
  
Tom had the urge to just rip into her mind and get the answer out of her that way, but she had smiled sadly at him while shaking her head. “Even if you use Legilimency on me, you will not be able to find anything. The information I receive is protected in certain ways and it will only result in breaking my mind.”  
  
That had stopped Tom from doing anything… For one second he had contemplated his chances and took a risk. Forcing his way into Luna’s mind as gentle as he could he searched everywhere, but came up empty. Luckily it had not damaged her in any way and when she recovered from the mind assault she shook her head, looking at him sadly for the decision that he had made most likely. She said. “We cannot change what is happening and going to happen, Tom… No one can change fate after certain decisions are made and this simply must happen.”  
  
Her words only made it worse and Tom started to worry even more. The thought of what had happened to Harry and where the young boy was haunted his mind. There was not one second that went by in which he didn’t think of the green-eyed wizard. It was horrifying that someone could completely undo him like this.  
  
And with these thoughts came a sense of guilt and ‘ _if only’_ thoughts that wouldn’t leave him. If only he had gone with him and hadn’t so stubbornly stayed at the Black house. If only he had protected Harry and taught him more. If only…  
  
If only he could turn back time and change it all… But Tom was well aware that he could do nothing. He was utterly helpless and he hated every second of it.  
  
Because Tom just knew… He knew that Harry was most likely with his other self. His main soul, Voldemort, and Tom wondered if Voldemort would have killed Harry already.  
  
Was Harry gone? Was he already dead? The thoughts simply ran through his mind, unstoppable and sleep didn’t come easy at all. If Tom wasn’t mistaken he hadn’t slept at all since Harry’s disappearance and restless as he was he had searched everywhere.  
  
Everywhere, but he could not find Harry. No matter where he looked, how he tried to force the connection open and failed, because something, or rather someone, was blocking it… Voldemort must be somehow keeping him out and Tom didn’t like it one bit.  
  
Tom wasn’t proud about the things he had done today, but he had needed an outlet and ended up torturing some muggles when it finally became too much. Every scream that he tore from their throats he was reminded of Harry and how the boy wouldn’t approve of this…  
  
After that, he felt like he had lost all his energy. Completely drained, he had surrendered and he was now just sitting in an alleyway somewhere in London with Emerald on his shoulder. “Tom…” Emerald hissed softly, feeling his distress still. His magic reserve was running low without Harry close to him and he had used way to much magic…  
  
He sighed softly, not even replying to the snake. His eyes staring down at the diary in his hands, remembering how all of this started. The Chamber and meeting Harry Potter. How everything had changed when he saw those green eyes…  
  
How he wished he could have turned back time itself and undo his mistakes. Yet he had no access to a time-turner… If only he had stolen the one from Hermione Granger… Another ‘if only’… Tom snorted bitterly.  
  
Two days had passed now and if Luna was right he would get a sign this day. But how could he even get a sign at all?  
  
Tom sat there and he lost track of time even, until he suddenly felt it. Fear and guilt swept through him, as if he himself was experiencing it all. It chased away the numbness and tiredness that had settled inside of him and his eyes widened and his breath hitched as he got up on shaky legs.  
  
Something was wrong, completely and utterly wrong as he felt some kind of distant pull. His heartbeat increased with every second and he followed the strange feeling inside of him, tracking it down as best as he could. Closing his eyes he apparated to the source, his eyes taking in the scene in front of him.  
  
Harry… Harry was sitting there on the bed and those beautiful emerald eyes closed, tears running from the closed eyes and a soft mutter came from him. “You stupid fool.” Tom’s wide eyes took in the scene completely, finally seeing the other person… It was unmistakeably Voldemort… it was him. His main soul.  
  
“Hadrian!!” Voldemort screamed, those bony hands shaking Harry’s shoulders and Tom raised his hand, feeling angered he blasted the other against the wall. The Dark Lord hadn’t seen or felt it coming and red eyes stared shocked up towards him.  
  
“What…” Tom fought back the feelings inside him, which threatened to flow out. “What have you done!?” He snarled as he stopped in front of his other self. One look at Harry showed that the boy was either asleep or... something far worse. And Tom feared the latter.  
  
Red eyes narrowed at him, the shock disappearing, yet Tom could still see the remains of that guilt he felt through the connection as well.  
  
“I made a mistake…” Voldemort admitted softly and Tom knew if he was anyone else the Dark Lord would have never admitted this. “But I needed to know the truth.” The Dark Lord added with a glare.  
  
Tom watched as Voldemort got up and looked down at him. Emerald let out a small hiss. “Master… you’re blurring.”  
  
Tom blinked at the words and glanced down at his hands, which were as solid anymore… He had run out of time and Tom looked up, seeing Voldemort stare at him, but Tom focused his attention on Harry.  
  
Seeing the young boy lying there on the spacious bed made something inside him feel relieved. He was glad to see the other again, even though Harry was unconscious now. “He will be fine.” Voldemort said to him as if knowing what went on inside his mind and Tom scowled at him.  
  
“What did you do to him?” Tom needed to know what had happened in the past days. Clearly Voldemort was resurrected, but something else had also happened.  
  
“I gave him back his memories,” Voldemort said. “Hadrian… he will be back with me soon. The moment he wakes up, I will finally have Hadrian to myself again.”  
  
Tom stared at his other self, slightly horrified by those words. Something just didn’t feel right…  Voldemort’s words sounded wrong, very wrong and Tom realised it was not just jealousy he was feeling right now, but something else as well.  
  
The jealousy was mixed with a strong need to protect Harry and make sure that Voldemort would not further harm him. Yet at the same time Tom felt himself growing intrigued by the meaning of Voldemort’s words.  
  
“You gave him back the memories of being Hadrian?” Tom inquired. He had never heard that something like that was possible. At least it wasn’t in the wizarding world. Tom had read something about how muggles could achieve it somehow. With some kind of trance or hypnosis.    
  
“I gave him back all his memories. The potion unlocks the memories in a soul. And every soul holds the memories of all their previous lives. Sadly I was not able to unlock simply one life. It is all or not at all.” Voldemort explained.  
  
Begrudgingly Tom had to admit that this was impressive. Yet he couldn’t help but feel worried. It sounded dangerous.  “What are the consequences?”  
  
Voldemort remained quiet and stood there like some statue, only proving that this was dangerous. Tom narrowed his eyes and snarled. “Do not make me repeat my question.” He hissed at his other self.  
  
Voldemort glowered down at him, but Tom didn’t back down. “He will be in a coma-like state while his mind sorts through all the memories.”  
  
Dread filled Tom with those words and he stared dumfounded at the other. Shaking his head, he almost didn’t dare to voice the next question he had. “What if his mind breaks during the process?”  
  
A mind was fragile and to have so many memories dumped upon you… Tom couldn’t even begin to understand how that must feel…  
  
Voldemort opened his mouth and closed it again, before he finally spoke. “Hadrian is strong enough. That will not happen.”  
  
Tom felt anger surge through him. “What would happen if his mind breaks!?” He screamed at the other, feeling his magic lash out and Emerald let out an irritated hiss at it.  
  
“Then he won’t wake up!” Voldemort yelled back at him and Tom froze, not wanting to believe it. Stepping backwards, he kept his eyes fixed upon Voldemort who was clearly agitated as well. Tom however could barely focus upon it as his own feelings seemed to go out of control.  
  
The words kept repeating inside his mind. ‘ _He won’t wake up…_ ’ The reality of it came crashing down. Slowly he turned his gaze towards the young teen lying on the bed. While he tried to convince himself that Harry was indeed strong enough to get through this. That one day Harry would wake up again and…  
  
Tom closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath as a feeling of defeat washed over him. Because he knew… he knew that nothing would ever be the same again. If Harry woke up… than he would remember all his previous lives and… the question remained. Would it change Harry?  
  
Tom could only guess… But still, everything would change and the worse part was… it was his entire fault.


	26. Epilogue

### Epilogue: 

Brain death… Weeks slowly passed by in which Harry lay there, unmoving and seemingly asleep. Tom knew better and Voldemort knew as well that Harry was not asleep, but Tom could easily fool himself at times.  
  
The two of them had gotten into arguments during the past weeks quite often and Tom had eventually decided not to waste his time anymore with his other self.  
  
He sat next to Harry, staring down at the still body. It was a pity that Voldemort had evaded the killing curse back then, for he deserved to die, to pay for what he had done. The Dark Lord had become quiet and withdrawn after it all and Tom let him suffer in his silence nowadays, but still he thought it was a pity that he had missed.  
  
It was now two months later and Harry’s birthday had gone by, the boy unaware that he was now 14 years old. Or maybe Harry was aware of his surroundings. If he was there was no way they could know.  
  
The door behind him opened, but Tom didn’t even move a muscle. Voldemort stopped close behind him. The only thing they had in common was the boy in front of them and that they were part of one soul, or had been at one point.  
  
“You already tried?” Voldemort asked him softly.  
  
Tom gritted his teeth and replied coldly. “Yes. I can’t find him anywhere; his mind is completely blank still.” Voldemort remained quiet and Tom glared over his shoulder at the other. “What are you even doing here?” He snapped.  
  
Red eyes narrowed. “I have as much right as you to be here!” Voldemort hissed back. Tom snorted, because this is Slytherin’s manor. They had both equal right to be here, but Voldemort didn’t deserve to get even close to Harry.  
  
Tom didn’t bother to reply, as he turned his gaze back to Harry. Eventually Voldemort left again, knowing that he would get close to Harry when Tom was there as well.  
  
Last time that Voldemort had touched Harry, only brushing his bony fingers against Harry’s forehead, Tom had almost killed him. Upon seeing that scene, pure fury had engulfed him when he saw Voldemort touching Harry like that.  
  
Honestly Tom lost count of how many times he had cast the killing curse at his other self and how many times Voldemort had cast it back… He could hardly believe that he was aiming to kill himself. Or part of him.  
  
But he simply was so furious… And Voldemort was clearly out of control more times. Lately however some kind of truce was between them and there were rare moments in which they did actually accept and enjoy each other’s company.  
  
Tom relaxed slightly when he felt Voldemort leave the manor and his eyes closed with a heavy sigh. Emerald nudged against his cheek and he forced his eyes open again. His hand coming up and slowly letting his fingers slide over the head of the snake.  
  
“He will be alright…” Emerald hissed softly, sounding hopeful. Tom just gave a small nod. He really hoped Harry would be alright and he wanted those eyes to open and look at him once more.  
  
Tom wanted to see Harry laugh and smile again. He missed Harry. Now that he was alive and not just a mere soul piece stuck inside a diary he felt more alone than ever. At least when he had been stuck inside the diary, Harry had been there. Protecting that small black book so protectively and the moments they spend together were edged into his very mind.    
  
Tom wanted him back, but every time he reached through the connection to see if he could somehow locate Harry, he came back empty handed.  
  
There was nothing inside Harry’s mind. Everything in there was completely white…  Unnervingly white and quiet.  
  
Even as he screamed Harry’s name in that eerie silence, there was never a reply and Tom wondered if Harry could even hear him at all…  
  
And all this only because Voldemort so desperately needed proof… Ironically he had gotten his proof before Harry had landed in this coma like state.  
  
Tom shifted and got up, knowing that he couldn’t spend 24 hours in this room. He was driving himself insane at times. With one last longing look at the body on the bed, he turned around and left the room, closing the door softly on his way out.  
  
Harry would come back… that is what he kept telling himself. Then they could live their lives, now that he was truly alive they could just do what they wanted, disregarding Voldemort and everyone else.  
  
Lucius Malfoy’s life was at least worth something and Voldemort had quite easily accepted that he would drain the blonde wizard’s soul. Most likely Lucius paid the price for handing the diary away like this.  
  
Tom sighed and smiled sadly as he felt Emerald shift closer to his neck. Harry would be alright…  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The next day however everything went downhill. Tom was in the study, trying to keep his mind from going into darker places, as he felt anger go through him. Confused he lowered his book and glanced at the door as it flew open and almost was blasted off its hinges.  
  
Tom quickly evaded the dark spell heading his way. “What the…” He yelled shocked as Voldemort’s eyes narrowed at him in pure fury.  
  
“Where is he!?” Voldemort hissed furious and Tom blinked his eyes, not understanding. “Harry! Where did you take him?” Voldemort screamed as he glided closer to him.  
  
Tom’s mind caught up and he quickly sped past the furious Dark Lord towards the bedroom where Harry was being kept in.  
  
The door was open still and the bed… was empty. Tom’s eyes stared at the empty bed and he slowly moved closer. He could feel Voldemort behind him and he glanced over his shoulder.  
  
“I don’t know…” He whispered and Voldemort glared.  
  
“So you are saying that Hadrian just got up and walked away?” Voldemort snapped.  
  
Tom gritted his teeth, barely holding down his own anger. “Yes, that is exactly what I am staying!” He screamed at his other self. Voldemort’s anger deflated, seeing that his younger soul wasn’t lying about it.  
  
“Where is he then…?” Voldemort asked softly, dread could be heard in his voice. Tom shook his head, his heart beating rapidly against his chest at the knowledge that Harry was awake and had just left them… left him.  
  
“I… I don’t know.” Tom muttered defeated. Harry… Harry would never leave him like this right? But the empty bedroom proved him wrong.  
  
Harry was gone…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can hardly believe that I finally reached the end of this story. As you will have noticed it is not finished yet and there will be a sequel to it, where everything will be explained and where it will truly end. 
> 
> Anyway thank you very much for reading this story!! And many thanks to all those who left amazing comments throughout the story!! And many thanks to those who simply clicked kudos, bookmark or subscribe as well!!! You’re all amazing!! <3 I still blows my mind that this story got so many kudos… like really, thanks a lot <3!!
> 
> I must also admit this ending came in mind when I listened to the song of Breaking Benjamin, Evil Angel. I had it in mind a few chapters ago and I have the outline of the sequel in mind so I am hoping it will get quick updates like Guardian Angel had. 
> 
> Anyway hope you all enjoyed and aren’t too angry at for this ending xD. And I guess cya you all next story :)!
> 
> Extra note: Sequel posted: 'My beautiful Angel'


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